A
male
age
36-40,
*ineetbahl
writes:Dear All,I just wanted to know one thing is it normal not to have a woman in life even when you turn 28. I must am not that bad looking (not to say that it makes any difference). It’s a fact that never had girlfriend. I must admit I do get attracted to girls but never proposed one or went on a date. Now my parents are getting worried that something is not right about me on this front. I must tell you otherwise I must tell you I am perfectly normal. I have decent education (well only if, Degree in Telecommunication Engineering and MBA from one of the Top colleges across the country can be considered decent) and on financial front I make more then most of my friends. However, I don’t know why no girl ever got attracted towards me all my life. My office/College colleagues vouch for the fact that I am generally very well behaved and do not have a repulsive attitude either. With all you Guys and Girls around, please advice me what’s missing and how should I try and change it. Do I need to visit a Psychologist or am I just blowing things out of proportion my over emphasizing on a lame matter. Regards,Vineet Bahl Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Relentless  +, writes (28 November 2010):
Im 23, never had a girlfriend but have been on a half dozen dates after approaching hundreds upon hundreds (and maybe a few more hundreds) of woman lol. Of course i was shy as hell when I first started in the beginning but now more than ever girls seem to notice me a lot more. Perhaps it has to do with the glow of confidence I've gained, not sure.
Things have changed dramatically when i began taking action. I remember the days when i couldnt even look at a girl in the eyes, never mind fully engage her in an awesome conversation, get her on a date, and make the final moves to seal the deal. Im still working on the latter btw, haha. At times it gets frustrating, but its all part of the game.
I think your better off trying to get used to flirting with the ladies now so when that special girl does come into the picture you'll know what to do and how to keep her.
btw- approachanxiety.com changed my life.
A
male
reader, vineetbahl +, writes (27 November 2010):
vineetbahl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a Lot, I think I was giving this issue an undue weightage. One that I have definatly figured out is that I need to ask women out. To be honest I have never asked a girl to come for a date despite the fact that I known them for long.
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A
female
reader, alice0110  +, writes (27 November 2010):
theres nothing wrong you with you. everyone meets people at different stages in their life and maybe it will just take you a bit longer but do not worry :)
you will find someone soon enough
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A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (27 November 2010):
 I agree with the other posters. It sounds like you have a lot of things going for you! You would benefit from joining some clubs or an adult coed sports league... any activity that will bring you in contact with new people.
I do wonder...Are you shy around women you are attracted to? Do you avoid asking women out on dates because you fear rejection? Anyway, it wouldn't hurt to talk to a psychologist about your concerns.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 Hello Vineet! :) reading your post, I think you are blowing this out of proportion. You sound like an awesome guy and really, there's no need to rush in these matters. Parents worry, that's part of the job and if they're hankering for grand-children, they're bound to put the heat on :) But rushing into relationships leads to trouble. I really believe you just haven't fallen on the "right" girl yet. Take it easy. If you want to find a great girlfriend, take up new interests like a dancing class, art, hiking etc. People are more likely to date and stay with others who have similar interests. Do you go out with friends? How often? Take some time to examine your social life and your routines-figure out if they're condusive to meeting, befriending, and eventually dating someone new. I find it hard to believe no girl has ever been attracted to you-women tend to wait for a men to make a move :) But in any case, we're all here for you to help out in the ways available to us. Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 November 2010):
Sounds like you're blowing things out of proportion. I bet you weren't worried at all, until your parents decided to get worried. You're a good guy, you work hard, you're a decent guy. And people have told you that, so you know there's nothing really wrong as such.
I thin it's more likely that you're not meeting the right women, or you're not out there enough looking. You need to be out there, meeting women, or at least people.
So, take a look at your social life. Are you out there enough? Where do you go to meet women? Could you do more to meet women?
I think you're worrying about something that isn't important. You need to relax a bit more, and just get out there and just meet people and make sure you have hobbies.
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A
female
reader, 0000BraveHeart0000  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 Hey Vince, you are perfectly normally so do not think otherwise. It is a very rare thing for a guy to be that old and not have a girlfrien...yes.. but on the other hand I do not think it is bad. I am 21 and I have never had a boyfriend in my life, most of my neighbours and other guys think I am weird but I just want to take life one step at a time. I am at college (final year) and I do not plan on dating until I am atleast working.
However, if you feel that you must get a girlfriend then I can give you a couple of tips. I do not know why the girls are avoiding you because you said that you have a great education, you are good looking and well behaved and those are the things that would attract me to a guy. Ok here goes:
1. Socialize- Sometimes this is easier said than done because most people are snobby and only hang out with their kind. Try hanging out with the guys at work like on a friday afternoon...go somewhere..bar, club a place that has girls.
2. I know you said your are good looking but maybe you can spice up your appearance a bit. Try a new look...one that will fit you. Because even though looks are not everything, they still contribute and are importantfor physical attraction.
3. You can also try getting involved in charity groups or clubs. Who knows, your contribution and efforts maybe be recognised and possible turn a few heads (from females).
4.Lastly, maybe your buddies or guy friends can put in a few words for you. I usually do not like this step and only use it in desperate conditions.
Good Luck!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): This is not unusuall there are lots of people out there around yor age that have never had a relatinship. I my self am 22 and never had a boy friend. The thing that affects me is my confidence. I dont feel confident enough about my self to go out there and meet some one. This may be the same issue for yoy. start by just getting out there and talking to girls. who knows the right one might be just round the corner. good luck x
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