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I'm 24, hot and still a virgin

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 January 2009) 30 Answers - (Newest, 27 September 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, *mosynie writes:

I am a very attractive 24 year old female virgin and I’m ashamed that I have yet to be intimate with someone. I have never been in a serious relationship and have never done anything more than kiss. I am worried that when I find a guy I want to have sex with he will be so put off by my inexperience that he will leave. Everyone that finds out I’m a virgin is shocked, and I am constantly turning down men (I doubt their sincerity and really don’t want a 1 night stand at this point). Basically, I have high standards and I’m in no hurry…but am starting to wonder if I should be. Thoughts? Thanks.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010):

I am 24 and also a virgin, and u know what?! dont give it up just to do it ... wait for that guy who is going to love you and respect you.

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A male reader, CantTellMyName United States +, writes (30 June 2010):

Okay..... My story is... am 24 yrs old... just gonna turn 25 in Aug. and have been in a relation for past 4 yrs.. which is no longer intact, because... for the last few months I've been pursuing my girlfriend for sex. 4 yrs in relation and still no sex... it just means that either I have super bad luck or I am gay... clearly the latter is not the case... but then again if a girl can't trust me with her sexuality then probably she is not worth trusting at all... All my life I waited for the perfect girl, and when I get her... I give all my respect to her.... and even after that if she can't understand that she is mature enough to be comfortable with her sexuality, I think I made the wrong decision of being with her in the first place..... I get the numbers of random girls almost like 3-4 in a week but I never call back... simply coz I never cud get over this gal... and let me tell you that she is not miss Universe... but I still love her... God dammit sometimes you just have to live a f***** up life without actually getting a chance to blow your steam.....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009):

omg girl i feel u. im will b 23 in february and i too have been ashamed to admit that i am a virgin. i've come close a couple times but at the end i just couldnt do it because i dont want anything that is just going to b a one night stand either. im pretty (at least thats what ppl tell me) my relationships dont last more than a couple months either. everyone in my town says im a "good girl" but they're not using it as a compliment. lol. just meaning i aint gon shake nothing but i dont care i have very high standards and i deserve nothing less. i refuse to lower my standards or settle for less bc im the one who has to live with what ever it is i decide to do with that person,. everyone wonders bc they dont know anyone ive "been with" but i only let ppl know who i want to know. but im so glad im not the only one i was recently going to rush in to something with a guy and i knew that was all he wanted but i refused because i knew i would feel bad about giving something so special to someone who didnt deserve it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009):

It's very surprising this many people on this board are virgins lol, it just doesn't seem that way in the real world. Anyway, I'm 24 and also a virgin. I'm a good looking guy (everone says I am). I'm tall and slender at 6'1 and I'm in good physical shape. I'm very outgoing, I have alot of friends, I have a college degree, but women have always been my weakness. I have been on alot of dates in the past but none of them have lead to anything. Previously, this was causing me serious problems. I thought that something must be totally wrong with me and I was worried people were going to start thinking that I'm secretly gay, even though I'm not. I started going to strip clubs regularly because it was my only escape (which costed me way too much of my money). I was so depressed that I had to seek psychological help. Fortunitely it has helped me alot. Even though I still don't have a girlfriend I can at least control myself now. Because I just graduated and am currently looking for my dream job, I decided to take a break from trying so hard. Once I get a good job I will start playing the field again.

So my advice to the original poster is don't worry about it. You are not alone. If other people are acting shocked that you are a virgin, then keep it to yourself. Its nobody elses business. Remember that being honest about yourself doesn't mean telling people every little detail about your personal life. Your time will come but in the mean time, enjoy life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009):

i am 24 also and still a virgin. i am waiting until i am married. i figure that if a guy will wait, he is definitely worth giving it up to. congrats to you. it is hard having urges but the longer you wait, the easier it gets.

:-)

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A male reader, pimpdaddy01 United States +, writes (15 November 2009):

i'm a virgin too and a little inexperienced also but my advice is to don't have sex with a guy unless you really like him and always use protection

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009):

Nothing wrong with still being a virgin. I was deeply hurt when the girl i was interested in revealed she'd given it up.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009):

i m 24 year old virgin ...lol..n proud of it...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009):

To Anonymous Male,

I find a man that has sex with numerous women a turn OFF! I think he is insecure and trying to prove his manliness by having sex with multiple women.

My husband was drop dead gorgeous, intelligent, educated, athletic and funny! He was waiting for the one special women that was me! He could have but did not sleep around. That made me fall in love with him more.

I totally disagree with you!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009):

I just want to say how impressed I am with this femaile poster and some of the responses.

I waited until I fell in love. I have NEVER had sex, just because a guy was hot and always had morals and I had PLENTY of opportunities to do so.

I agree when you meet the right man you will be cherished as you are all a dying breed. This is not about living in the 1920's, but having respect and morals for your self and your body.

I have a little girl and this is the way I plan on raising her. So many guys want a girl for a one night stand. Why be another notch on thier belt buckle!

I am very proud of you!

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A female reader, HolyCabooses United States +, writes (14 November 2009):

Me too.

Seriously. I am not ugly. I am told that I am funny and kind. And I have still never been kissed, or kissed a guy. Weird? Maybe. But I think it all comes down to having never found the right person.

Virginity does not matter. Sorry, but it doesn't. A person who has had sex with dozens of different guys can still have a healthy, fulfilling intimate relationship with the "right" one. Just remember that everyone does things at different ages and times... and some people take a little more time than others. I doubt I'll be a virgin forever, but I am not going to give myself up to someone I don't trust completely.

And that's that.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009):

you are one of a few women who believes in themselves. keep up the spirit and i beg you in the name of the ALMIGHT GOD not to loose your virginty just because someone out there lost it. As a man long to marry a virgin and not someone who ever got involved ito sexy mainly because if am to mary someone who ever got involved ito sex will be thinking deepwithing me that may be this girl or lady is not being made whole or fufilled.

This and many more inner things is what troubles a m,an's heart when you marry someone who has been involved into sexy before. men we ponder a lot onto the4se questions even though in public one may seem to support but as one sits byhimself and start thinking he becomes more concerned.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009):

Im 25 and still a virgin, girls always want to meet me at parties and often tell me that I am "really cute" or "handsome". They'll laugh at my jokes even go so far as the full on snog.

But they never want to go out with me, I always feel I want to get to know somebody before i go to bed with them but they never seem to want that. My friends dont understand why i cant get into relationship either they all tell me that their girlfriends think im really cute (and they even set me up on dates).

Its not like im being too nice either, it was only a couple of weeks ago I was at a big party when i ran across the dancefloor blind drunk with no trousers on!!.

I think I have a fairly manly lifestyle (I'm a car mechanic for gods sake) I know I'm not gay (well I would know after all). I have two older brothers who are both married to nice girls.

So whats the damn problem?, I just want to find a nice girl. I have noticed that most of the girls that show interest in me are between the age of 28 and 35 maybe they just want to mother me?.

Ive been to two weddings in the past 3 months and all the couples I met just made me angry. My problem isnt just that Im a virgin its that I cant start a relationship and its driving me mad!!!!!

So basically dont worry you are not alone some people just find it really hard to get into relationships and dont feel they have to depend on others or some people are just born sex mad these are usually ugly, charmless people with nothing to offer other than their tackle. If you have the hotness, flaunt it and make the people who make feel embarresed miserable because I bet they dont have youre looks or personality.

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A female reader, Fay29 United Kingdom +, writes (27 October 2009):

Am also 24 soon 25 and still a virgin. Honestly speaking, sometimes i'm so embarrassed but i cant bring myself to just have sex for the sake of having sex. I want to have it with someone i really love.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009):

OMG, I feel the same way I'm 25. I'm a sexy virgin! will be 26 soon and still a virgin but a very,very proud one, be proud that your a virgin and not a HO! like the girl today, giving it up to any tom,dick & harry u meet keep it, I get that all the time. At the age of 21 I told myself and some friend I was going to have sex they All told me NO!! even my boyfriend who was 30 at the time,also said that I should wait and I'm so ,so,so happy that I did!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009):

I think that when you meet the right person you will know right away.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009):

omg, how am i so glad that some people are going through the same this that im going through im a 22 soon to be a 23 year old female virgin i useually dont tell man that im a virgin because they want to leave you and go on, ive always felt that thats all man really wanted and it messed me up very bad. I do feel the older that ive gotten the more i want from man in a realation i want to sing the maxwell song when i do have sex and i just it to be amazing not somthing that im just doing i want it to be somthing for me to let go all my worries and everything i see all my friends talk aboout it and they laugh at me i do get mad somtimes but seeing this board i feel better the guy that im talking to now hes in prison, but i been knowing him for 5 years but i just got back intouch with him in prison he say he want to be with me and he dont want sex untill married but its somthing that i dont believe from him. i guess i just need answer. if you would like to talk my email is [email address blocked]

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009):

I am male ,24 and still a virgin. had 2 chances but didnt wanna do it,wanted to save it for someone i love.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009):

Hey !

trust me ! Being virgin is AMAZING ! ! ! !

well im gonna wait till im married or engaged till i do it !

and im hoping i can fin a virgin girl also ! but thts hard !

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A female reader, Girl_to_worship Australia +, writes (7 August 2009):

Dear nmosynie,

You are not alone in this predicament.

I'm 24, a virgin, and have had many people (both men and women) complimenting my looks.

There are also a good number of men who express interest in dating me, and asking to be in a relationship with me.

However, I have not gotten to the point where I have given my virginity up. It is not due to religion, nor to norms specific to the society or culture i belong to. It just happens that i am a virgin.

My virginity was never quite an issue to me until I met my second boyfriend in college, who was not a virgin. I loved him very much and at times, the thought of losing it to him crossed my mind. However, it never happened and neither did he pressure me for it.

I know how it feels when people find out that you're a virgin, and are shocked because they think you're beautiful (and therefore, should have no problem getting laid).

To me, giving up my virginity, i think, would make me feel very vulnerable. it is especially so since i have waited this long to lose it, and the older i get, the more i look for in a guy i want to make love to.

I wouldn't say it has taken me a huge amount of discipline or self-control to stay a virgin, because it happened naturally. I hope we will cherish what we have now, and find someone we love and who loves us to share this special moment with.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009):

Ok I am an attractive man and am 23. I have made the same decision as you but for diff reasons. In my opinion "waiting for the right guy" is some 1920's crap. Women have earned over the years many basic liberties, and through the language we use we can see that sexism is ever present. Dont wait assert yourself. If you wanna talk to some guy talk to him. some things i think are influenced by the universe or God if you will. Yet somethings we must muster up the courage and do for ourselves. You can pray i think its imp yet if your looking for it things have a tendency to almost never pop up. Just know that you have the ability to manifest your own desires.

People are always surprised when they hear im a virgin there are plenty of things people haven't done yet. the emphasis we place on sex is a little much. like many people who have responded stick to your guns and what makes you feel comfortable but don't make it some crazy world changing, Cosmo gyrating experience its just sex!!

good luck better yet create your own!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009):

I'm 24 years old female and I'm also a VIRGIN! I am so horny all the time, but I will not give myself to any man who will simply de-flower my purity. My virginity is very special to me:)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009):

You shouldn't ever be ashamed of being a virgin. You are a lady, and your virginity is the most precious gift that God gives you. If you can and if it's possible then you should wait for the right person to come along. It might sound impossible but wait until you get married. There are A Lot of girls that wish they could have the chance and opportunity to give themselves to "The One", including me.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009):

Let's get one thing straight. Women often find a man who has been sexually active with other women to be sexy. Men DO NOT find the same thing true in women.

For the majority of men, the only thing un-sexy about a virgin woman is the idea that she might be too sexually-uptight & full of relationship expectations to make sex fun for them. If they thought you were only a virgin because you got marooned alone on a desert island for the last 10 years, most men would be THRILLED to get with you and "teach you the ropes."

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A female reader, Triskaedeka102 Canada +, writes (26 January 2009):

Triskaedeka102 agony auntI think it's not something you need to worry about. I am 25 and still a virgin, and I don't mind that at all. I get curious, and all, but I will remain this way until I get with the right man. About your friends being shocked, well, that happens to me too, but then again, we are in the era where not many women stays virgin past 18. But stay cool and just be yourself :]

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (24 January 2009):

LazyGuy agony auntDo you regret being a virgin still?

Just ask yourself, how many women out there regret having had sex too soon or with the wrong guy?

Loosing your virginity, for a women who is not completely hideous, is hardly an achievement. Some young girls sell themselves for a drink, so any girl offering it for free should find plenty of takers in certain locations.

Keeping your virginity is neither that much of anchievement. Just keep your legs closed and say no and stay away from guys who don't take no for an answer or situations were you are unable to say no.

What is an achievement is staying true to yourself. If you are the type of person who wants to wait for the right person and you are doing that then that is highly admirable. NOT because you are a virgin or not but because you are sticking to your principles.

So ask yourself WHAT it is YOU want to do. Nobody else can tell or should be able to influence you. Whatever your choice, it is yours to make and nobody elses.

As for your fear that a guy will leave if he finds out you are a virgin, not if he is even remotely serious about you. Seriously, why should he? Would you? What if you found a guy you are really serious about and found out that at 24 he is still a virgin? Would that matter?

As for inexperience, sex isn't all that hard. When you decide to start having it, you will pick it up in no time at all. In fact, learning it with the right person might be a lot more fun then having learned all the tricks with all the wrong people.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009):

That's really great! Don't lower your standards or worry about it. People might be suprised, but really I don't think the guy will care if you're a virgin if he's that great. Some guys find being a virgin a turn on. Plus it'll be that more special and you'll have so much less to worry about. Like you said, you're pretty, it's just that you don't want to rush things. Don't let anyone change your mind for you. That's a really special thing and makes you stand out from other people in a good way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009):

Hey, rate my answer high please!

Anyway, I'm in the same boat. I'm also 24 and still "pure". Anyway, I know that sometimes you feel left out because those younger (much younger) than you have already done it (thrice)! But don't worry so much about it. I know that it can feel like there's something wrong with you or if you wonder if you're just not as attractive as you thought. It can really dampen yourself esteem so just think of it like you're waiting for the right man. I'm actually religious and that partly had something to do with why I'm waiting. I'm also very scared of cathing an std/sti to the point where if I do get it (like Aids or whatever, herpes), it isn't worth catching it and having to take medications and going to the doctor for the rest of your life. I am really not that informed about sex either (was taught abstinence only education all through out junior and high school). I just learned about sex really from the internet and when I was with friends. Hehe, I also learned a little from porn.

Anyway, it's not that big of a deal. Just try not to think about it. You'll just bring yourself down even more. Now I know I'm not ugly, nor am I undesirable. In fact, I almost lost my v card last year, but hey, you have to find the right guy and not just some jerk who'll say, "next".

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A female reader, PunkyPippi United States +, writes (24 January 2009):

PunkyPippi agony auntHoney, you should be so proud of yourself! Keep your high standards, and wait for the right guy to come along. No guy is going to think you're weird. They'll feel so honored that you chose THEM to lose your virginity to.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009):

when the time is right, you'll find a guy that you really like and become closer, and develop a serisous relationship. i know im really picky also...and have high standards. but you just have to wait for the right guy to come along =]

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