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I'm 23, married for 2 years but I don't enjoy sex with my new husband so have started an affair!

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 April 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 April 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *ugababes writes:

Hi i am 23 and have been married for 2 years and a few months. I have not been enjoying sex with my husband and i dont know how to tell him, I ve been extremely sexually frustrated as its been more than 3 years since we ve been together, thought it would get better over time but it hasnt. My sexually tention lead to me having an affair with some guy, now i feel really sick inside and i an not sure what to do, really need some advice!

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A male reader, agony_uncle_r United Kingdom +, writes (23 April 2007):

you obviously had no love or respect for your husband to begin with. sexual frustration is an easy problem to get around, its called communication. instead youve broke your marriage by becomming a lier and cheat.

i suggest you do the decent thing (its the least you owe your poor husband) and tell him the truth, get a divorce and let him find someone who can give him the respect he deserves.

i suggest you take a look at how you go about relationships too, if a simple case of lack of communication is all it took for you to cheat, what will happen in the future?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007):

I'd agree with Eddie on this.

It seems to me that you have two main options, do you want to try and make your marriage work, or do you feel that the marriage has run its course and is better to end? Either way, I think for your own happiness you should stop the affair. The sex may be great, but longer term you are only going to cause yourself, and probably your husband, more heartache and pain.

Put finding a sexually fulfilling relationship after sorting out your bigger problem of your marriage. If you want your marriage to work, it sounds like you both would benefit from having some professional guidance. (sometimes) a person cheating in this way can eventually strengthen a marriage that is lacks sexual intimacy. On the other hand, if you feel counselling is not an option and the marriage isn't workable you need to sort this out with your husband and work towards ending things.

By tackling the issue of the marriage, you will either find your sexual fulfilment with your husband, or you will be a free women to find it with someone else; but without the feeling of guilt and remorse.

It might seem like you have a lot of pain ahead of you, but the feeling you'll get from making a decision and working towards an outcome will be far better than any pleasure you are getting at the moment. All the best with whatever you decide to do.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (23 April 2007):

eddie agony auntHow could this help your relationship. You obviously don't love your husband. Why did you choose to muddy the waters and deal with this issue this way? You've only complicated things. Perhaps you should move on to another man. The respect for your husband is gone and since you didn't work on the problem in a constructive manner, what's left?

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