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I'm 22, she's 15 is it best to stop before things get started?

Tagged as: Age differences<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 August 2011) 13 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I started talking to this girl recently, she seemed really nice, really pretty. Then one day we find out how old each other is, she thought I was 17, I'm 22, and I thought she was 18, the girl is 15.

Nothing has happened for it to be a legal matter but I really still like this girl despite finding out her age.

Is it best to just tell her that it wouldn't be right for her and just carry on searching?

Or work through the age gap and see if it could work?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2011):

Well first of all you need to remember anything sexual with a minor is illegal. How about leaving things for now and maybe see how things go when shes at least 16/17 because then shes legal. If you both love eachother you will wait.

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2011):

angelDlite agony auntwhy did she think you were 17? this age gap is quite a significant one given that she is just 15. obviously she is underage so you will not be able to do anything sexual with her, even if its her idea! you would still end up on the sex offenders register is you were caught. her parents will probably be opposed to a relationship between you so that would cause trouble too.

if you have not developed feelings for each other yet then i would advise you to drop this before it gets complicated

x

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (20 August 2011):

Ah, stupid I didn't notice the little flag, while I knew that the UK had different laws when it comes to legal age.

Well in that case the hurdle isn't that big. Wait till she's sixteen like you intend to and then take it from there and see where it leads. Still, the age gap is pretty big at this point in your lives, so you might experience some difficulties because well..she's still a teen and you're not, and haven't been for a while. Also, sex (if she's still a virgin at 16) can be an issue because she's still so young. But from the sound of it you're a respectable guy and in that case she'd be lucky to have you.

Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To be honest I wouldn't do anything with her till she was 16 (the legal age in the UK)anyway, I respect her too much and the law. We seem to make each other happy without even being near each other.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (20 August 2011):

When I was 15 a girl in my class of the same age had a 24-year old boyfriend. She looked older than her age and he looked younger.

They had sex regularly but when the relationship went cold she talked to me about getting him into trouble because she was underage. She always seemed like a mature girl--until then. I managed to convince her not to do it but it just goes to show you can never be too careful. Even if you're not convicted, the accusation alone will ruin your reputation forever.

15-year olds are 15-year-olds, no matter how old they look or mature they come across. Never be deluded into thinking otherwise. Age is not just a number, not at that age.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (20 August 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI would wait till she is 18....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2011):

hey,

When i was 15 years old, i met a guy who was 22, abroad. We were not from the same country. Since it was a school trip, i wasn't alone, I was with my best female friend when we met this guy.

The same thing happened, finding out the age. We thought he was 18-19 and he thought we were 17. We talked for 2 hours and we left. After this, i started raising feelings for him.

We haven't met since that, but now i am 18 years old, and he is 25 and I still really want to see him again. And my feelings are just stronger and stronger.. We talk sometimes, and plan the meeting. I hope this will happen soon.

I don't think this age gap is big. And as you said, you thought she was 18, so i don't think she is kinda childish. If you think this is serious, it can work. I can't even count how many relationships work around me, with bigger age gaps.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (20 August 2011):

This isn't a good plan. A 32 year old dating a 25 year old - fine. A 22 year old dating a 15 year girl, who is still legally a child - not fine.

I would break it off now, or you might well find yourself on the register.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2011):

Yea I would stop it before it starts. My fiancee had an ex there was a 4yr age difference. They met in hs and she was a freshman he was a senior. Years later she just basically snapped. Literally went nuts. She tried to sue him when he found out she cheated on him and claimed statutory rape. Luckily by then she was 18 so she couldnt get anything. But I guess if you decide u rly like her you could wait till shes 18 then start a relationship.

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A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (20 August 2011):

shrodingerscat agony auntIt's fine to date her, just don't have sex with her.

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (20 August 2011):

The Realist agony auntAlthough I'm not against the age gap because I know plenty of successful relationships with similar age gaps it is the timing that is the downfall here. I think you two are just in too different of worlds aside from the legal issues I am sure you know. This doesn't mean that you two can't keep in touch but it would be best to wait until she is at least 18 before you try to have a relationship with her. If years later you two still want to be together then I am all for it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2011):

Don't get involved with a 15 yrs. old at that age the girls are changing fast and especially mentally, and what they like and choose to do. Not worth it, stop it now before you fall in love or god knows what else.

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A male reader, Kyle007 United States +, writes (20 August 2011):

When I was 19 I had a girlfriend who was 16 and we got hot enough to push the legal limit, and I knew she would let me have sex with her if I wanted to.

I broke it off, cried my eyes out for a few weeks and was relieved that I wasn't going to go to prison.

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