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I'm 22 and she's 35 should I continue the relationship?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 November 2018) 8 Answers - (Newest, 20 November 2018)
A male Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I met an amazing woman the other day. I've already gone out with her a couple of times and we've even had sex. The only thing is that she's 35 and I'm 22. She also has a 10 year old boy. I've tried to talk myself out of this a million times, but that fact is, I'm attracted to her. I guess I prefer mature woman over others. I mean, our conversations are fun and exciting and have lasted for hours on end. Weird, I know....but, I like her.

I guess I'm just curious to know what others think about my situation. Is this even worth continuing?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2018):

Female anon second guessing someone she knows absolutely nothing about. Just because she has a child it doesn't mean she 'Needs' a man.

I was on my own years before I met my now boyfriend and trust me I didn't 'Need' a man but we met, we clicked and yes there is no two ways about it, it started off as a sexual attraction but 18 months later we are still together and very happy as well.

The lady in question may just be starting out as having fun, her entitlement so long as her son is not affected by her behaviour and at the moment you are getting to know each other.

Instead of thinking it has to be serious, just take it steady, have fun, date, just see how it goes. There are no guarantees how it will pan out whether she is your age, no kids, virgin, non virgin or anything else, you will either click or you won't, you will either want the same thing or you won't.

The age may become a factor, it may not, depends on both levels of maturity and experiences and of course what you both want from it.

If you like her why give her up? Ignore female anon, clearly she has negative views on single parents.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (18 November 2018):

Fatherly Advice agony aunt"Age and weight are just a number. They shouldn't matter when you really like someone."

Species and gender are just words.

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A female reader, CherryR07 United Kingdom +, writes (16 November 2018):

Trust me, there's nothing wrong with it. Both of you are legal adults, and age is just a number. My best friend is 24, and is with my other best friend who's 35. They've been together for almost 2 years now, and are still going strong. And they're couple goals. Age and weight are just a number. They shouldn't matter when you really like someone. Only problem that may arise, is that you guys may want different things and may be ready for different stages at different times, but there are ways to work around that and make compromises.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (16 November 2018):

Fatherly Advice agony auntTell us more. Your past relationships? Your earning power? Your interest in future children? You are diving into a very unbalanced relationship. It's kind of sketchy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2018):

She gave it up fast, didn't she, OP? Tells me she'd give it up fast for another guy too. Why? Looks like she's desperate for sex. Wants sex. Needs sex. She's got a kid. Is a single parent? Hopefully not married!! Looks like she's been going thru a dry spell before she met you. Then, wham bam, she jumped! Not sure what kind of lasting power this has. But from this end, it looks like just a good time and sex. That will fizzle soon enough.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2018):

You also need a man's point of view on this matter; and I hope other uncles will respond to your post.

You've already had sex; and evidently that occurred very shortly after a couple of dates. There is always a fascination and excitement about a new experience; and exploring unknown territory. You're appreciating the novelty of the fact she's an older-woman; so now you guess you "prefer" mature-women over others. The important thing is that you're wise beyond your years; and mature enough yourself to deal with what you "prefer!"

It's very common, almost cliche, that very inexperienced young people consider having great conversation and chatting a lot; as some sort of viable connection. That's yet to be determined. You haven't known her long enough to know if you really like her; or just having sex with her, and talking.

Sex after two dates is a great incentive for someone your age; and easy-access and availability of it is like being a kid in a candy shop. Sex is often used as bait. You could easily get played; because you can just as easily be considered a boy-toy scratching an itch. Your youthful sexual-stamina is also a novelty to her, to some degree.

Make sure you're both on the same page about where this is going; because you may serve a purpose, but not necessarily have a lasting or meaningful place in her life.

You've known her a couple of weeks; and you really need to get to know her besides the fun and lengthy conversation.

You can talk a blue-streak and have a great conversation; and the novelty might wear-off by the next date. You hardly know what you have in-common; or what her personality is really like.

Get to know her, let her get to know you; and try not to let sex cloud your judgement. Use discernment, and try to see women aside from how they fit into a type, or a sexual-fantasy. The MILF-fantasy or Mrs. Robinson might be exciting; but most women don't like being a passing-curiosity, fetish, or novelty. She might be a little awkward in your social-circle. She has a kid, and you can't just pop in and out of her life at your convenience.

Fast-sex is great, but interest usually fizzles-out almost just as fast; and feelings get hurt in the process.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (15 November 2018):

kenny agony auntAt the end of the day age is only a number, provided of course it all falls in the legal age of censent bracket.

People have made relationships work with age gaps far greater than 13 years. I think if you both get along and a romantic connection is felt by both parties then i don't see a problem with it.

Give it a go, see what happens and let the chips fall where they may. You might find in a few months this is not for you. Alternatively you might find she is the one for you. But you won't find that out until you try.

Good luck

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 November 2018):

Honeypie agony auntWhat do you have in common?

Is what you have (besides sex and fun conversations) something you can build on?

While I think relationships where there is a BIG age gap often become uneven and the two people in this relationship are at two different stages in life. See, she has already gone through most of what you are ABOUT to do in life.

If she decided that maybe having a second child was something she wanted she pretty much had to do in "now" as 35 is getting up there when it comes to fertility and hopes for a healthy child.

You on the other hand, are 22... barely left your teenage years behind so becoming a father might not be something you would want.

Then you have her with a 10 year old child. Who ( I presume) is her main priority in life. Which mean you might be a lot lower in the "priority totem pole".

And let's not forget, YOU JUST met!

Of course things are fun and exciting!

You can see where this leads you. You might discover that you have more in common than you thought. And you might find that you don't.

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