A
male
age
26-29,
*creenhustler
writes:I met this girl during the summer when she was single and 2 months fresh after her breakup with her 3-year relationship and after two months of just getting to know her, I confessed how I felt but at the time she rejected me because she wasn't ready.We continued to be friends just because I never felt the need to terminate a friendship just because my feelings weren't reciprocated. I respected her wishes and pushed those feelings away and just enjoyed her company. Fast forward 3 more months, she got back with her ex maybe 3 weeks ago. She'll constantly tell people that she trusts me more than her boyfriend since she still has trust issues from their breakup and his actions after the breakup.Now, here is the confusing part. She's a big science person and has a troubled past so to her, she does not associate body parts to anything sexual. So she has had conversations with me about how body parts and stuff do not turn her on. She see's body parts as fat and tissue, and this is something I can't relate to as breasts to me aren't just fat and tissue to me. While I know that they are literally that, its common in this world that people associate it differently and sexually as well. Recently, she has sent me nudes of herself and I asked her many times if she has felt guilty or anything and she has said no. She doesn't see an issue because again, she see's it as fat and tissue. She has also openly told me she finds me extremely attractive and that she has since she met me but was still hung up on her ex so she has never grew any deeper feelings.For some reason, I find this hard to believe. She has told me explicitly recently that she'd fuck me, and has even given me a rating out 10, and I made sure she wasnt just being nice and was being completely honest. I had her rate my friends and she just kept saying I was the most attractive out of my group of friends. She said multiple times about that if she were single, she'd fuck me and all of that but again, she has no feelings. She even said that if she wasn't with her current boy, we'd be together or something - implying that she has gotten over the breakup and such. But since we're long distance, she also says she can't see herself dating me. She said that if I flown down there and she was single, that we'd have a good time. But all of this was sort of a joke to her because she joked around about having a fight with her current boyfriend days before I flew down. This was a REAL and HONEST joke though. She said the things were serious and meant are that she'd fuck me (I'm fuckable), that I'm a 10 and attractive to her and that she'd fuck me with no questions, and that we'd be together if it werent for her current relationship but at the same time no because she doesn't think she could do long distance. I also feel as if she meant that if she were single and I came down to where she lives, she and I would have sex.My question here is not so much if she'd ever date me. But does she have feelings for me? I find it extremely hard to believe that we have been friends for so long and that she now considers me her favorite person in the world, that I'm her best friend and that she shares just about every tough moment and good moment in her life with me. She has sent me nudes, told me she'd fuck me with no questions asked, and goes into detail about her fantasies and kinks. She sounds like a person you wouldn't date just because of her actions - that'd lead up to distrust but shes actually extremely kind and way more innocent than I can actually let on to believe. I'm at a loss for words that we even had this conversation, or that she has said those things, or shown me things.What are your thoughts? Do you think she has feelings that she isn't processing as real feelings? She has only had 1 boyfriend in her entire life. She also claims that its hard for her to catch feelings. I just don't think you could do all this to a person you don't have feelings for but I know there are many different people in this world. What do you guys think?I know that many of you guys will say to stay away or shes bad news. I just want to know if its really that easy and possible to share these things with someone you have NO feelings for. What does she gain from me that she couldn't from anyone else that she could've shown her nudes to. And I know she said she wouldn't show anyone else, because shes extremely comfortable with me and she trusts me a ton to where I wouldn't show anyone them.tl;dr: Long-distance best friends for 5 months, we talk and call just about every single day for hours. She has recently sent me nudes, told me she'd fuck me but also claims she has no feelings for me. Has said things about how we'd be together, or we'd fool around if she were single and I came down to where she lives and such. How can someone say all these things and not have ANY feelings towards someone else?
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best friend, breasts, her ex, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 November 2017):
 I agree with the other two aunts, she is not your friend, she just enjoys the attention that she gets from you. If she was not turned on by a male anatomy then how can she say you are attractive? It sounds to me like this girl is just feeding you a load off lies because she probably thinks that is what you want to hear. I mean you are long distant friends of five months so am guessing you cannot have got to know her on a face to face level very well in that time. I think the best thing to do is end contact. She is cheating with you on her boyfriend and she would do the same to you just to get some attention from another man.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 November 2017):
 Yep, I totally agree with Chigirl.
And I call ABSOLUTE BS on the " my boobs & body are just fat and tissue so here ! are some nudes of me"!! That is just the excuses she uses to try and be "guilt-free" when sending you nudes.
No, she doesn't want a relationship with you. It'd be an LDR and she doesn't WANT that. She wants someone close by that she can be intimate with. Apparently, she ALSO likes getting attention and affection from you AS well as her BF.
To her, you are a fantasy character that she is SAFE with. She can be as vulgar and sexy with you as she wants too because you are NOT physically near her.
If you are looking for a GF, this one... is a waste of time. she has a BF, she doesn't want an LDR and it's a bit of a game to her.
If you are looking for a friend, this one... is a waste of time. People don't add sexting to a friendship because it complicates matters, it can create feelings that really cannot be reciprocated.
Both of you are playing a fantasy here.If you are to think JUST a little about what's going on here... HOW would you feel if YOUR GF was doing what this girl is doing with you? Would you think that was cool? My guess is no. But you keep going because you get attention, ego rubs and nudes from her. She isn't your "best friend"... let's be honest here.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 November 2017):
 Ah, the clue here is that you are long distance. You're her guilty pleasure, her dirty little secret on the side that no one else knows about.
If you were friends in real life and NOT long distance/internet, it'd be a very different story. In that case, I would say she's sending mixed signals. But you are internet pals/long distance and communicate mostly over the net, I assume. And THOSE kinds of "friendships" I am quite familiar with. You are young. You are naive. You think it's the same as a real life friendship, but it's not. When you are long distance, you're NOT a part of her world. So she cheats with you (yes, telling you she wants to fuck you and sending you nudes is cheating) because she doesn't even consider it cheating as you are not a "real" person. You're not someone who is part of her daily life. You don't know her family, you don't know her friends, and you're not the one who gets invited to parties with her friends and know people around her, go to the same school etc.
You're someone online. A long, long distance away. You are her little plaything to make her feel attractive and desirable. That's all.
I mean you realize yourself that she's just playing with you. She'd fuck you if she was single? Oh, but wait, she WAS just single, and she rejected you. So that's bullshit. She's in a relationship? Then why is she sending you nudes? And don't think it's because you're special. It's because she doesn't understand boundaries. If you were her boyfriend, she'd be online sending nudes to other guys, believe me.
Just take her as a flirt that's stroking your ego as you stroke hers. She likes the attention. But she has no intension of ever being your girlfriend, or ever including you in her life as a real friend. Real friends don't keep each other hidden away from their partners or talk about how much they'd like to fuck them. Stay in this "friendship" with her if you like, but realize that to her, it's just a fantasy and you're nothing but a plaything.
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