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Im 20 shes 14, is it legal to touch her up and kiss her ?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 September 2006) 14 Answers - (Newest, 22 November 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

hiya i am 20 year old n me girl is 14 i was just wondering if legal to kiss me girl n touch her up im from the uk n need help to answer these questions i know im not allowed sexual intercourse but wondering if allowed any physical touching or kissing.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006):

It probably isn't illegal, but people will frown upon it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2006):

the whole age law sucks trust me i know! lol

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A female reader, bonym United Kingdom +, writes (19 September 2006):

bonym agony auntFriend, this GIRL is a CHILD, please end this unhealthy relationship. You cannot possibly do anything with her until she is at least 16 or 17 in some parts of the world I believe. She is too young for you right now, wait till she grows up first. xXx

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A female reader, claire_x100 +, writes (18 September 2006):

claire_x100 agony auntWhat is wrong, cant you get any one your own age. She is 14 regardless how you feel about each other she is still a child. I would understand if she was 16 because that is the legal age over in the uk. My suggestion is I wouldnt bother you could go down wit rape, even if you havent pressured it happend to my mate so i suggest you really thinkg through this relationship and think is it the best for you 2.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2006):

In Canada, legal age limit right now is 14, but you have to be within a +3 year age limit, so you have to be 17 max. At age 20, I can understand why you might be attracted to someone at age 14 because there are different developmental ways people grow up. Some girls and boys develop faster and others develop slower - like me, I didn't actually get into puberty until late teens. Some girls that I've known when I went to high school, had massive breasts at age 14 and 15 already. It was uncanny. Like that blond hair girl in my Art 12 class - we had shared Art 10 to 12.

I can't say morally that it's right or wrong, because supposedly there are fundamentalist that think that as long as you're over 17, you're an adult. By law, you are, but by mentality and maturity - I highly doubt it. Even to this day, I can tell u that many 34+ year olds are so friggin stupid or immature that makes me wonder whether the law should change to emotional maturity rather than physical maturity.

Anyway, as with Ms. Anon below, I suggest if you two are really serious about the relationship, you two wait it out. Kissing - is questionable, depends on how u kiss I guess, but touching her sexually is a whole new ball game. Don't even try it in secret. It's just not worth the jail time and fundamentalists branding you as a child molester - it gets bad when u want to get a job in the future.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2006):

No, no, no. It's not legal, and it's not ethical. No matter how physically developed the 14 year old is, or even if she seems psychologically mature enough to give consent, she's still too young to make rational decisions about relationships. You need to distance yourself from her before things go too far, and your life is ruined. I'm sure there are plenty of attractive women your own age for you to fool with. You don't want to end up in prison or labelled a molester do you?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2006):

Touch her up and kiss her?? you can do that to a sixteen or eighteen year old, what's going on with 14?? a 3 year age difference is ok if the girls almost sixteen or sixteen+. See, reasonable age differences work if both are old and mature enough and if they both geuinely care for each other. I notice you haven't said anything about what you like about her, her personality, her smile, her habits that make her special and unique. Seems all you care about is one thing, and ur fantasizing sexual thoughts about a girl whos not even near the age of consent. you're a total perve and you make me sick, you're supposed to be an adult and something tells me if she gave you the chance without knowing what she was doing, u would take advantage of her. She doesnt know any better, she's 14. Leave her well alone, she's got so much more to lose than you, her youth and innocence for a start. Perve.

Here in the uk the age of consent for intercourse is 16 for girls. not sure about boys but i think its the same. And yes, if you touch her up and she doesnt like it you can be charged with molest or child abuse. She is a child. Forget her and move on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2006):

I totally agree with all other answers, she is a minor and therefore this is very illegal. Here in the UK you would most definately be put on the sex offenders register and possibly receive a custodial sentance too. You are an adult and really need to act like one - I find it hard to understand why you would be interested in this child anyway surely looking for a relationship with someone nearer yr own age would be more sensible and likely to progress somewhere? I really do hope you listen to what people are advising you here otherwise you could end up in a lot of trouble.

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A female reader, camille United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2006):

camille agony auntYou're an adult, she's a child. Reagrdless of your feelings, some would say it's child abuse. A 6 year age gap when you're both adults is fine. I'm more concerned as to why you are physically interested in an under age/ minor in the first place.

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2006):

Wendyg agony auntDont even go there. She is 14, still considered a child. Sexaul acts of any type should not even be thought of until she is at least 16, dont care what others think, but I still say it should be raised to 18 you hear such things!!! But anyway, kissing would not be illegal. As regards to anything else, i personally would leave well alone, im not sure what the law is but well, Its all well and good now, but what happens if you guys break up in the near future ?? Shes 14, she decides she hates you, she goes to the cops... see where Im headed ? Shes only got to say you molested her and given that she is 14 you could be charged with an indecent assault and it does carry a prison sentence. Now im not saying that is how it is going to turn out, but who knows! If ever in doubt never go down that road, one thing leads to another and so on. You should have enough respect to keep it at kissing, she is 14, why do you want more ? she's not legally allowed sex until 16, touching up adds pressure, if you really like her and respect her you wont add the pressure. Now I know age differences are not really considered all that bigger deal, but man shes 14!! I have got to ask the question, what does a 20 year old guy get out of dating a 14 year old ? You cant take her to the pub and have a drink, shes not even old enough to smoke... shes still at school... arrrr now i get it shes still at school... Im not normally of the sort to attack age differences, but Im hearing more and more under age pregnancies etc etc girls being exploited that I personally think its getting out of hand! Take away the pressure its really not fair to cross the line, show some respect.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2006):

it's best to leave alone, especially if there is any remote possibility that you two could fall out. All she needs to do is tell the parents and your life changes from there on. It makes me angry though that some people get away with these things but it's even illegal for a 16 year old to have sex with a 15 year old. I could never get a girlfriend from the age of 16-20 and I know I'll never know what it's like to have a 14 year old girlfriend, as I'm not 14 anymore. Not getting a girlfriend from 16-20 is hard to swallow but at least I have an 18 year old one now, a nice girl and not too young

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A male reader, Ponungalungb United States +, writes (12 September 2006):

Ponungalungb agony auntThis is the 2nd question concerning a 14 year-old girl and a 20+ year-old guy in two days. I wonder if they are one and the same?

If you "touched up" my daughter, you wouldn't be "touching up" anyone for a while. My advice, "touch up" someone your own age.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2006):

Touching her up/kissing and any kinds of sexual behaviour would be regarded as abuse in line with the UK law.

She is regarded as too young legally to make a decision to have that type of relationship with you, and as the adult the onus is on you to exercise self control.

The law in this country I believe is the same, and you could be faced with legal action and would find yourself on the sex offenders register if someone complains about this situation - and believe me, people have strong views on this kind of situation, in most people's eyes your gf is a minor and should therefore be protected.

The safest thing is to wait until she is 16 and then you are ok legally to pursue a relationship with her without fear of such consequences. If you really care about her, and care about your own future, then waiting makes most sense.

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A male reader, Lostandalone United States +, writes (12 September 2006):

Lostandalone agony auntI know here in the states it is illegal and you would be charged with statutory rape and possibly sentenced to 5-10 in the state penetentiary! I will have to ask my step-mother about the UK because she is from London but I wouldn't advise it.

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