A
female
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asho320
writes:im 18 yrs old and im sleeping with my 35 yr old boss for the last 3months (he is married and kids)in my job, there is nineteen guys and one girl(me) and at work,he talks to us about his kids but never ever talks about the wife!when we are not at work he never talks about kids and wife at all!so i am confused!does he know that i know that he's married and kids???at work(in the parking lot)in his backseat of his car he has a babyseat!but when me and him are having sex in his car the babyseat is gone!and he never wears a wedding ring at work or when we are having sexat least he wears a condom for a blowjob and a new condom for sex so i wont get diseasesi am not on the pill so i hope i dont get pregnanti am still in schooli feel soooooooooooooooooo guilty for the wife and his 2 sons aged 1 and 6yrs oldi know i am going to helli know i dont deserve to live
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at work, blow-job, condom, the pill, wedding Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (5 October 2006):
 You have some serious problems my dear. Please seek therapy and for God's Sake do not reproduce!
A
female
reader, bumble bee +, writes (5 October 2006):
if you dont like what you are doing then the simple answer is to stop. this bloke dont love you or have any serious feelings for you, he probably just loves the fact he has pulled an 18year old. im sure if you wasnt helping to wreck his family someone else will be, but do you really want it on your conscience that them kids are going to have a broken family?
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check  +, writes (5 October 2006):
 If you feel soooo guilty, stop ruining peoples lives. NOW!
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A
female
reader, pica +, writes (5 October 2006):
I also don't think you feel guilty. That's just a thing to tell yourself to balance out what you're doing. Stop it then. That's all anyone has said to you and you are deliberately ignoring it. You'll get no other advice here. And by the way - don't kid yourself that no-one else at work knows. If they don't now then they soon will. Men aren't stupid, they'll see right through it all. The only girl in a big group of guys, she's sleeping with the boss? You don't want to be that person when it all comes out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006): asho320,
I remember your previous posts about this man.
You know what I and the other aunts told you then, and are telling you again now.
You are helping him betray his wife and kids. Do you really fancy yourself as a homewrecker?
If so, keep right on doing what you're doing, and face the "music" when his wife finds out, and his supervisor does too. I guarantee you it won't be pretty.
Still, if you LIKE feeling guilty (obviously you don't feel guilty enough to end this sordid affair and get a different job - so "feeling soooooooo guilty" is just empty talk with no real intention to do anything about it) then continue "enjoying" it, and don't complain to us!
This is harsh, but at this point, you need to hear it like it is!
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A
female
reader, ariel +, writes (4 October 2006):
 Asho320 You have written before and we told you what a big mess you are making of your life.
You feel guilty and probably used and not respected.This man does not care at all about you or his wife and kids.All he cares about is himself.
And comdoms are not 100% safe,you could still fall pregnant.
Stop doing it.
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A
female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (4 October 2006):
 Ash320, we had this question from you before. And that at that time, you were told the same excellent advice as stated from the Aunts below. Why you would write in again only to be told the same thing tells me you might be a girl, who is in serious denial and is needy for attention and desperate for attachment ...to anyone,,ebven a married guy! Your behaviours spell out low self esteem in my books. You are being used like an old dishrag, dear..so heed the advice given you, dump the loser and go out there in the world and make a difference, by living your life with integrity. Just stop doing this to yourself!
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (4 October 2006):
 Hello Ash,
I agree with Lost - get a new job and just stop it with this guy already! Even if he didn't have kids, if he is involved with someone else then he is off limits, period.
If you're worried about getting pregnant then you should seriously consider going on the pill as a back up method - especially since you're sleeping with a married man who already has a family.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (4 October 2006):
 If you feel so badly then why do it? Why put yourself through this if all you feel is you're going to hell. You're having sex with a married man in the BACKSEAT of his car!!! Thats just trashy. He treats you like trash and then he's married. Get out of this mess and find a new job. This obviously isn't healthy for you at all.
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