A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I asked this question on my previous question but didn't get any feedback...so I'm going to ask again. I'm 18 and a senior in HS and attracted to my former teacher (soph year). He's attracted to me as well. I was staying after school and we ended up talking for awhile and one thing led to another and I found him kissing me and it got really serious and we went all the way (not in the middle of the hallway, of course). Anyways, it's not really awkward at school or anything, but he told me that he wants to be with me. He's not married and I'm 18, so I think it would be ok if we kept it a secret til school's out. help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007): How old is your professor. If he is over 35, you should think twice about your relationship with him.
A
female
reader, cherry123  +, writes (28 February 2007):
i personally dont think you should put yourself in this situation at your age it is more important to concentrate on your studies and i know you may hear people say this alot and it sounds boring however i am only 25 and i got into a relationship with an older man when i was 18 and i regret every one minute of this as ive learnt the hard way i left my college course to spend more time with this guy and i really regret it as i think i could have a better career now. and that person doesnt even contact me now however i see that the realtionship i am in now i am happy and i love this man when your are 18 and you havent had alot of experience in relationships i can tell now i couldnt say i loved that guy at 18 althpugh i was convinced at the time it was the right thing
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (28 February 2007):
 You are in a really difficult situation. Technically at 18 years of age you are an adult who is entitled to make your own decisions about who you date and who you tell about it. However, as your teacher this man has a professional relationship to you and should follow a code of professional conduct (which doesn't include sexual relationships on school property!). I understand that you are quite young, inexperienced with relationships and maybe head over heels smitten with this guy but do tread carefully. I doubt the school authorities would 'like' the arrangement and I am sure that a member of staff having sex on their property is a disciplinary matter. In the UK it would be a criminal matter too as there is legislation to prevent teachers entering those sorts of relationships with their pupils. As a teacher he should demonstrate overwhelming self-restraint in his professional role!
However, there are wider issues here - if this guy hits on you as a 'pupil' what stops him doing it again with another girl at school next year? What impact will this have on his career - his colleagues may dislike his behaviour and he may even be thrown out of a job (or his profession)? I honestly think it is a bad idea to get involved with anyone in an educational or work setting because if it goes wrong, you still have to see them afterwards. Perhaps this ought to be a life lesson to you about mixing business with pleasure. Don't feel under pressure to keep it a 'secret' from others if you don't want to - if he is applying pressure to keep the secret there is a reason for that - he knows it is wrong, could get him into all sorts of trouble and maybe has a reputation for hitting on pupils.
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