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I'm 17 with a 27 year old...

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating, Family, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 March 2008) 11 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have a really good friend that is a guy and he invited me to a party at his place where he rooms with his two cousins. This guy has liked me for a long time and he would give anything to be with me. When I went to this party he had every intention of hooking up with me but I being 17 started talking to his cousin who is 27. We eventually hooked up that night.. and I never thought that it would be anything more til he called me the next day. We have now been seeing each other for the past five months and only our close friends know. Him and his cousin who are more of best friends now don't get along that great anymore because of me. I hint at my guy's cousin that I'm into him but I'm really not, I just say it to make him feel better because I know how much he does like me.

I recently just found out that the guy I have been seeing also has another girlfriend but when I confront him about it he lies and he's even called me her name. He just recently got a divorce from his wife and his other girlfriend finally broke up with him a few weeks ago. My guy also says that hes falling in love with me and that hes just scared that in the next few years he will being wanting things that i dont such as children. I will be turning eighteen here in the next week and im not sure if being with him is the right thing or not and what I should do about his cousin he really likes me. Should I stay with him or not and is the age a big deal?

View related questions: best friend, broke up, cousin, divorce

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well i thought that i would give an update.. after six pain saken months of being lied to about having two girlfriends i started to not believe the truth cause he swore that it wasnt true.. one night i was going through my boyfriends cousins phone and found a text that said how can u have two girlfriends and my boyfriend responded by saying i dont really know.. so i decided that was the last straw and i broke up with him and i also let his cousin know that im just not into him that he is just too good of a friend..

..and about 2 days later someone from my past who i never thought i would never get to know again walked back into my life.. im so much happier.. hes my age and we are on the same level and i dont have to worry about things like my own boyfriend not being able to go to my senior prom and i realize that lifes to short to fight all the time go out and have fun if something worries u to much it isnt worth your time..

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (26 March 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntYou will need to sugar coat your words first.

Tell him how good he is but you are sorry ,

you prefer his cousin.

It would be more diplomatic this way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i would like to thank u guys soo much for ur help.. im pretty sure im just gonna tell him straight up that i dont like him

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (23 March 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntJust tell him straight and in simple English.

It will be up to him if he still wants to be your friend or cut you off.

There is nothing much you can do about him if he withdraws from you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

how do i tell him without ruining the friendship that we have had?

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (14 March 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntIt is better to be truthful than to lead him on.

The choice is yours.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Should i tell my guy friend that honestly i dont want to be with him and that i dont really like him that way and even though his cousin has hurt me with the whole girlfriend situation i wanna give him a second chance

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (13 March 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntWhat is legal is not wrong.

Whether it is morally right or wrong ,

only you can decide for yourself.

Each of us have different opinions.

What is important is your happiness

and only you can decide that.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

yeah it was illegal but now im 18 so it is now legal.. so is it still wrong?

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (5 March 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntDo you want a man whom you love more or do you want a man who loves your more?

Who can make you feel more happier, contented and fulfilled?

If you can answer that, then you would know who is the lucky guy for you.

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A female reader, hello1 United Kingdom +, writes (5 March 2008):

hello1 agony auntWow, I really think you should stay out of that family. Also isn't this illegal over there?

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