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I'm 17 and my BF is moving across country and has asked me to go with him! What do I do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2006) 7 Answers - (Newest, 1 December 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

I am 17 and i am with a boy that is 18, in january he is 19 and he is moving away, i have been with him for just over a month so far and we are so happy together, we spend as much time as possible together. He asked me to move and live with him when he goes. The only trouble is, is that i am stil in school, and he is moving to the other end of the country to me to go to university. I can not bare to think of my life without him, but do i stay here with my family and friends or do i go and spend my life with him?? please help me

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006):

Yo assume that you will "go and spend your life with him". Sorry, but that's pretty naive. You are considering giving up your education - so what next, a dead-end job in your new place? You're moving away from family and friends, so your current friends will likely move on and forget you. Roll on a year. You've moved there, you're in the dead-end job you hate. He's continuing his education, he's got new friends at uni and they're not interested in hanging out young girls with dead-end jobs who threw everything in for some guy. He comes home one days and says it's not working out. What do you do then?? You split up with him and what? get a scummy place to live, continue the dead-end job. You call an old friend but, whoops, she's out with her new friends. OK this is a worst-case scenario but do not, I repeat, do not, reroute your life for a guy you've known for a month! Don't even consider it! This is not a movie. The "follow your heart" stuff people are posting here is fine when it's someone else's life. You chuck it in now, it will follow you for the rest of your life. Stick where you are for now, have a long-distance relationship with him. if you like each other you can make it work. there is nothing to say you can't be together in the future.

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A male reader, lboy United Kingdom +, writes (1 December 2006):

lboy agony aunthi reader,

well if your 17 then i'm goin to assume that you are in sixth form and can therefore choose to drop out when you want. i would also say to follow your heart and do what you think is right. thats is all i can tell you, the only wrong disition is the one that doesn't make you happy.

good luck

lboy

xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006):

Well, I will have say you should fellow him if it over years you met him, but since it is not quit long it is better you stay with family and friends and finished your school, and if the boy was right for you, he will deffinately come back for you, and if he never comes back it means he were never right for you. Thinks this will help you.

Best of luck

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A female reader, Ivanna22 +, writes (1 December 2006):

Ivanna22 agony auntHey!. It depends. If you're gonna have to make a contract to live somewhere I wouldn't do it, but if you're gonna be living with him at his place why not take a chance. If things don't work out come back home! but make sure you saved some money for an airplane ticket to come back. I think you should give it a try. He might be the one, u never know.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (1 December 2006):

TasteofIndia agony auntI moved to the other side of the country and met a guy out here. I didn't move out here for him, but now I feel stuck. I feel torn. I live in Oregon and my family is all in New York. I hate that I'm so far away from them... it has pushed me into the adult life way quicker than I would've cared for.

My parents aren't there to take care of me, or help me out financially - they can send me money, but mostly I have to handle my own bills, rent, etc.

My friends are all in New York and making new friends on the other side of the country is so difficult, especially after high school. It's just so hard to meet people.

I miss my family so often, and when I want to visit them I have to save up $400 dollars for a plane ticket and it takes an entire day to fly back to them. I always worry - what if something happens to one of them and I can't be back in a few hours?

I love my boyfriend and I really feel he's the one. However, my heart is torn and it pains me every day.

Since you've only been together one month, I wouldn't go out there with him. It's a huge and painful decision. And should you break up, you're STUCK. Across the country. With no friends. Or family. And if you plan on getting an apartment, you'll probably have to sign a lease that has you stuck out whereever you plan on living for 6months, or worse... a year.

Moving across the country is an adventure, but after a few months, the sense of exploration, fun and adventure leaves and then you just get lonely. Really, really lonely.

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A female reader, lonleyheart +, writes (30 November 2006):

lonleyheart agony auntyou do have a pretty bi dission on your hands there well m only advice is that i say which has helped alot of my m8s is follow your heart

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A male reader, Prada +, writes (30 November 2006):

I think you have a pretty big desicion on your hands but you have to consider that you have only been with him for one month,and i think that since it is only january you should just wait the rest of the year and atleast you can finish up school,and you guys could really test your love.But its all up to you whatever makes you happy.

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