A
male
 ,
wallacda
writes:Sorry if this drags a bit in advance! Well, basically to cut it short, nothing seems 2 be able 2 make me happy right now. I seem 2 be constantly miserable! I've just sat my exams and have huge concerns over that, I have also been told in the last week my mum is to under go surgery in August. Also i just had my 16th birthday and as my exams are over, I have so much free time on my hands. I've been told I should get out and do more sport, which i did before-hand and still do, but I no longer enjoy that as my troubles are affecting my game and i dont enjoy playing badly rather obviously!. What can I do? I feel I have very small numbers of close friends and no-one i can fully trust! I cant seem 2 get my life together please help.:-(
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (28 June 2006):
 I'm sorry about the troubles you're going through now, but try to remember that these things are transitory. Even though it might seem like it's eating your world right now; you *will* get past these things. By August, your mum will be over her surgery. When you get your exam results - for better or worse -- you'll know what to do next.
Everyone goes through these stages in life, so please don't feel that you're alone. The strongest response that a person can have to disappointments and disasters is to admit to be affected by them. A common response (particularly by men) is to try to hide your feelings and pretend to everyone that everything's just fine and you're not affected. But that doesn't fool you, and rarely fools people around you. While you probably wouldn't be caught dead crying on the shoulder of one of your mates, you really need to talk about how you feel to someone.
The best option is to confide to an older adult, someone who's "been there" and come out the other end. Do you have someone like that in your life, an older brother, an uncle, a family friend, even a coach or a former teacher? If you can just unburden yourself to someone, you'll probably be able to pinpoint exactly what your major concerns are and take steps to eliminate the worst possibilities.
Failing that, even just writing down a stream of consciousness can be a great healer. If you can type fast, so much the better. Write in as much detail as you can where the problem started, what contributed, how you feel about it, and what you plan to do about it. If you get it all down you'll begin to feel better about it, and you may even get some insights about the key problems that are worrying you most.
Sport, as your friends have suggested, is a great distraction because it allows you to funnel the tension into action. But if you feel distracted from competitive sport, why not do something like running or weights? You'll get the same benefit to your mind without letting down your teammates.
I hope these suggestions give you somewhere to start. And if you really start being affected, remember that there are "lifeline" type numbers for people in exactly your situation, so don't feel that your problems aren't "bad enough" to speak to someone about. If they affect you, they qualify for attention.
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