A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm nearly 16 and i have an older boyfriend who is 19, nearly 20. I'm still a virgin and he is very understanding of that and never pressures me into anything that i don't want to do. We've been together for 6 months, i trust him with my life, and i think i'm ready to go to the next level... but i don't know how to give him the signs that i'm ready... how do i go about letting him know i'm ready? what should i expect for my first time? anything you can say will help...thank you, xoxo
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female
reader, cd206  +, writes (25 January 2007):
 First of all please wait until you're sixteen. You say you're nearly there. I'm advising you to do this for your boyfriend more than for you, since if anyone finds out you're having sex before you turn 16 then they can charge your boyfriend with rape. It won't kill you to wait a few more months. When I was 17 and wanted to start having sex with my boyfriend I showed him I could be responsible about sex by seeing the doctor and going on birth control and also discussing the issue with him, like what we would do if I were to get pregnant etc. I think showing you can be mature about the serious questions is a must to show him you're ready but if you care about him, you will wait until you're 16.
CD
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): First off you are 15 years old and already you want to give away your first time to a young boy who will probably not stick around that long after you do the deed.
Perhaps he does not pressure you because he likes that you are waiting for the real thing or until you are older and more mature, are you concerned at all that he may lose respect for you if you offer yourself to him in this way? Most guys I know don't need convincing to have sex! Being a virgin at 15 is a virtue not something to hurry up and change about yourself. Once you give your virtue away, it is forever gone, and you will have to prove yourself over and over again to the next guy in your life that you are a good girl.
My other major concern is that your generation seems to be blissfully unaware of the health hazards of having sex at a young age, say prior to age 20. You are at a much increased risk of getting cervical cancer by simply having sex before you are completely mature physically. You don't have to have multiple partners, a condom won't protect you and the sexual activity and hygene of your sexual partner can put you at risk as well.
I work with a girl who is 19 and has just been diagnosed with cervical cancer, she has had two sex partners and started having sex at 18, not 15.
Please do some homework on this, google, risk factors for cervical cancer and educate yourself on the biggest reason not to have sex at 15, do you want to die to lose your virginity?
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A
female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (25 January 2007):
 Assuming that you're as ready as you say you are...You could indirectly flirt with him and be very suggestive or you could just talk to him about it and tell him you're ready. Say basically everything you've just said here and then see what he says. Flirting is the fun way to do it but talking about it is the sensible way. But whichever way you choose he'll still get what you're trying to say. I hope it all goes well, have fun. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): Personally I think if you were really ready to have sex you wouldn't have to write this question.
You would be able to talk with him, in a way that is appropriate to your relationship. Perhaps a "serious" talk, or perhaps more of sexual flirt. Whatever way, it would be in one that is right for your relationship.
Are you really so sure you are ready? If so, this is something you need to feel comfortable bringing up with him, not with us.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): just be open about your feelings with him, if you trust him and he trusts you, there shouldnt be a problem. if you are too shy maybe you could tell him over the phone/letter. etc.. or maybe you could just make a move on him to show him that you are ready. however, only do this if you really are ready.. you dont owe him anything, you should only do it because you want to and the time is right. the first time is different for everyone but if you are in a lovely relationship it should be enjoyable and feel natural... it is always strange the first time and you wont get everything right! no one does.. just go with the flow :) it will come naturally.. no pun intended :) good luck! x x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): You should wait till you get a bit older in my opinion. Sex is something that one has to do it when he/she is enough mature. Do not try to hurry things. It will cost you in the future.
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