A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:Dear Agony Aunt,do you think that age matters? i mean in our world which we live in, these days, you hear stories about 60 year olds having babies and 8 yer old's smoking, so is it such a bad thing for 15 year old and a twenty six year old to fall in love? i am nearly 16 so is ten years such a big age gap? we have known eachother for two years and ever since we first met something seemed to click. yes i a have had boyfriends in the past, so therefore i know this is different. the only trouble is i can't tell my parents because they wouldn't understand, but i forsee us taking our relationship, sometime in the near future, to the next level.Should i consult my parents??????????????????????????? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): honestly, when i started dating my boyfriend i was 15 and he was 18. i was afraid to tell my parents so i didnt. whenver i went out with him id say that im going out with my friend...and i had him tell my parents (when they met) that he was 17. however, i didnt have sex with him untill i was 16 . if he loves you, he'll wait.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): Well, Im 26 and I cant tell the difference between some 15 year olds and some 18 year olds. Plus the leagl age is 14-15 in Italy,Spain,France,Poland, I could go on. Not that I chase after 15 year olds mind. Having said that,theyre probably more experienced than me..
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A
female
reader, Waterloo Sunset + ♥, writes (1 November 2007):
 The gap is not the issue here, but the fact that you are only 15! You are way too young to have sex. So dont break the law. I can understand you not wanting to tell your parents because i have a son aged 15 and i wouldnt be too chuffed if a woman was hanging around him, with a 10 years age gap, same thing.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (1 November 2007):
 There is a reason that we have laws saying that adults cannot have romantic relationships with children. Where I live, you are a minor (read: child) until you are 18 years old.
If you were 26 and he was 36, the issue would not be the ten year gap. Your justifications of smoking 8 year olds and procreating 60 year olds is so irrelevant, it confirms that you are too young for this kind of relationship with another 15 year old.
Something else to remember: for many males (not all), sex is a physical thing. For most females, sex is emotional, mental and physical. If you don't understand, you really are too young.
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A
female
reader, gold digga +, writes (31 October 2007):
 i personally dont think age matters i know people who has 15-20 years age gap and there happy and they met when the girl was only 15, i think you should wait untill your 16 to have sex with him at least then no one can accuse him of taking advantage i think you should tell your parents but when you feel you are ready to do so, if you feel you should tell them now then tell them but if you would prefere to wait till your 16 then tell them then as once you are 16 you are legally aloud to be with or sleep with who ever you wish to. x x x
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A
female
reader, Kemi +, writes (31 October 2007):
hey chick , im 15 too and my boyfriend is 21 i consult my dad and he made me end it with him and was calling my boyfriend a pedo and said if he saw us together he would break his legs .. i would personally not say anything until you turn 16 because you are then at the age where you have consent and your parents might not agree but cant stop you ,, fathers are protective your his little girl .. but im not you. you may have layed back parents. Just be careful what and how you say it .. You may regret telling them afterwards i did .. im still with my boyfriend but its so hard to contact him and see him but were fighting for it because we love each other .. Age doesent matter but in other peoples eyes because your 15 it does . Im grounded i hardly see him when i can go out i have to go out of town its a nightmare .. be carefully chick hope iv'e helped kemi x x x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): I believe you should consult your parents. I once had a relationship with someone much older than the person you're describing. I was younger than you at the time. I never told my parents - the relationship lasted for two years. Now that I'm aware of how much I've been abused I wish I could tell them. I wish I had told them and got their advice.
It may not happen to you but still... You should always trust your parents in relationships. They can annoy you for no reason, that's true, but they can also protect you and guide you when your feelings don't allow you to see things the way they are.
People grow at different rates, just like the previous commenter said. Eleven years is a lifetime when you're a teenager.
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A
male
reader, Einheri +, writes (31 October 2007):
Moral dilemnas aside, I'd recommend that neither of you do anything intimate before you are 16, legally speaking a 26 year old would be commiting statutory rape by having sex with a 15 year old. So unless you want him to have a criminal record, be on the sex offenders register, and labelled a paedophile, then I'd keep your pants on for a while.
Also, are you sure that your love is requited? I can't imagine many 26-year-olds having an interest in 15-year olds.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (31 October 2007):
 Personally i don't think age matters, at the end of the day age is only a number, its more about how the couple feel about each other than how many number are between them. Having said that i don't think age matters as long as it falls within the legal age of consent. At the moment you are still only 15, so i would not persue anything with this guy till you are at least 16/17, even 18. The age gap 15 & 26 sounds huge at the moment because you are so young, but in five years when you are 20 and he is 31 it will not seem too bad. Sometimes it pays to wait, and if he is a decent guy he will wait till you are older before persuing anything.
Take care & good luck x
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A
male
reader, rcn + ♥, writes (31 October 2007):
 Yes it matters. The reason it does matters is your growing at a different rate than he is. A 26 year old man has entered adulthood, and his behaviors and who he is has mostly settled in. You haven't yet. Theres a possibility as you grow, and he stays put, your growth may take a different direction.
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