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I'm 15 and the whole thought of sex feels me with dread!!

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Question - (11 April 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 21 April 2007)
A female Canada age 30-35, *BrokenSmilex writes:

Ok I hear about people my age having sex all the time. I am 15 and right now sex isn't even an option for me. Like the thought of someone inside of me kinda grosses me out. I am 15 and wondering if I am ever going to over come my fear of having sex. Like everyone says it only hurts a bit and you bleed a bit but what happens if you do decide to have sex and the condom doesn't work and you know sperm finds its way to the egg and you become pregnant!! I am scared of becoming pregnant at this age, but is sex really that fun for people to do it all the time. Is it wrong for me to think that a guy being inside of me is gross at this age??

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2007):

No, there is nothing wrong with you for thinking sex is "gross". Remember that you are only 15! Just because your friends and other people your age may be having sex, it does not mean you have to. Do not feel like you have to do it just because everyone else is. You will eventually think sex is not gross, but you can make that decision when you are ready, however old you are.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2007):

No, there is nothing wrong with you for thinking sex is "gross". Remember that you are only 15! Just because your friends and other people your age may be having sex, it does not mean you have to. Do not feel like you have to do it just because everyone else is. You will eventually think sex is not gross, but you can make that decision when you are ready, however old you are.

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A male reader, DrCynic United States +, writes (12 April 2007):

DrCynic agony auntOh sweetheart, you're only 15. I'm a 19 year old guy and haven't had sex yet... It's ok to wait till you're ready... Honestly, you're not even at the age of consent yet. If you don't want to, you don't have to. You'll grow out of it in a few years, I'm sure.

Good luck to you.

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A female reader, JazziBadAzz United States +, writes (12 April 2007):

Honestly your body is not ready for sex at the age of 15 your reproductive organs are prematurely developed. Second you have to be mentally prepared to have sex for the first time because if you are not then it will not be a good experience. I have to say that your situation is not bad becuse a lot of females have damaged their bodies because of have sex too soo. There are too many diseases out ther and you are not missing anything. IN a few years when your about to finish adolescent years you will notice changes in your sexual disires

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A female reader, xBrokenSmilex Canada +, writes (11 April 2007):

xBrokenSmilex is verified as being by the original poster of the question

xBrokenSmilex agony auntWow thank you guys so much for the great advice!! I really appreciate it. :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007):

Hey your normal and your young and you shouldnt be thinking about sex right now ,you have plenty of time to become intrested in things like that, do you remember when you were little and boys had "kooties" or "germs" , it was just a phase right? well so is this and one day you will mature and it wont seem so gross.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (11 April 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntHey doll,

I was EXACTLY like you. I really was. Until I met my current boyofriend, I had absolutely NO interest in sex. It was never on my mind, it kind of grossed me out. My friends were all out having sex and they would always bug me about the fact I was a virgin. I told them time and time again that I just didn't want to give it up to some guy. I wanted a special guy, and I would wait until I found him.

They all thought I was ridiculous, but I was having too much fun with my friends and theatre and school. I wasn't a social outcast or anything, I did fine with having friends and boyfriends, I just didn't want to have sex.

Finally, when I turned 19 and moved away from home I found the right guy. I knew he was the right guy because he didn't make me nervous or scared and it just sort of... happened. Naturally and beautifully. We waited for a few months before we did it, but it eventually did, and I really enjoyed it.

Still, I look at other guys and get grossed out by the thought of having sex with them... but my one special guy (who I'm still with) appeals to me like no one else can.

So hence, don't WORRY about not wanting to have sex. Trust me, out of all your friends who are out having a blast having sex, YOU will end up the happiest in the longrun. I assure you, you'll find someone and everything will just *click* together.

I think you're a totally cool fifteen year old. Pregnancy is not a game and you really don't want to get pregnant so young. I think you're making a great choice. When/if you DO startwanting to have sex, make sure you've got proper birth control and that both you and your mate get checked for any STI's - yes, even though you're a virgin, sometimes things can happen.

Enjoy life right now! Don't worry about sex... just have fun and love being fifteen! It only happens once.

xxIndia

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A female reader, peppersalt United Kingdom +, writes (11 April 2007):

no it's not gross. most people are really nervous at the idea of having sex for the first time. do you finger yourself? is it the thought of anything being inside you, or just a guy's penis that freaks you out?

sex is a really big deal. Yeah there is no 100% way to guarantee not becoming pregnant but you can make it as unlikely as possible (be on the pill, use a condom etc). Most of all make sure you are with someone who understands how you feel. You should never have sex with anybody, in my opinion, until you've both talked about what you would do if you got pregnant. It may seem like a big thing to talk about with someone you haven't even slept with, but if you're not comfortable enough to have that conversation then you shouldn't be having sex together. any time you have sex can potentially result in pregnancy, however unlikely, so you need to be sure you're both on the same page about options (abortion, adoption etc.).

yes, sex is really fantastic at times, sometimes it's not. from my (not vast) experience, I've found sex to be the most incredible with someone I love when we've been doing it for ages and both know what each other likes and aren't shy to talk about our fantasies and experiment. the one time I did it with someone I barely knew, it was terrible. no emotional connection = no arousal for me.

you don't wanna have sex right now, but that doesn't matter. maybe some day you'll feel different. I think when you meet someone you can share all these feelings with and start fooling around or fall in love, your feelings might change. you are only 15, there is plenty of time, and believe it or not, not everyone is having sex all the time :P just relax!

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