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I'm 14 year old with a 17 year old boyfriend. I just want to hang out with him, but my dad doesn't trust us.

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 September 2008) 11 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2009)
A female United States age 18-21, *abygurl148 writes:

im a 14year old girl that has a 17 year old boyfriend that is turning 18 in two days. i really like him but my dad doesnt want me to date him and my mom think that she wouldnt care as long as she meets him. i want my dad to meet him too but i dont think he wants to and my dad tells me that he wants to put him in jail. he knows im not going to do anything with him until i am aloud to and he told me that he will not make me because he cares about me to much to hurt me but my dad dont get it. i just want to be a normal teen hanging with her boyfriend and i would hang with him around my house when my parents are home or i would have my 19 year old sister with us to the movies or out to eat but my dad dont trust me at all. what should i do?

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A female reader, Remsony Canada +, writes (7 February 2009):

Well, I think if you love him, go ahead, but (like any relationship) be ready to have your heart broken because it might happen (not many people marry the guy they dated when they were 14). You know the saying, "Hope for the best and prepare for the worst." If your boyfriend is a good guy, good for you, your a lucky girl. But there is a high chance hes ready to do things your not. So, just tread carefully, ok?

About your dad, try doing some bonding time with him, 'cuz for dads, your always gonna be his little girl, and you might be maturing too fast for him. Though remember, hes not doing all that to be mean, just that he loves you and wants the best for you.

Good luck, and I hope the guy your dating is aweasome!

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A female reader, christina12345 United States +, writes (7 February 2009):

Well im fourteen years old, and I dated a seventeen year old, and let me tell you. they are all about how far they can get in the bed. no offence. i dated a seventeen year old for about three months, and he used me the whole time, i know i made some mistakes on what i did with him, but i mean dont do anything with him, cause thats like his main goal with you. and once he gets far with you, he'll tell you he is in love with you and all that bullshit and he will leave you in a skinny minute.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008):

I'V BEEN WITH THIS BOY FOR 2 YEARS NOW AND I THINK HE'S MR.PERFECT.YES HE'S 17 AND IM 14.BUT I LOVE HIM WIT ALL MI HEART.JUS BE FRIENDS UNTILL YOUR'RE AT LEAST 17.{TUDLES}[I LOVE MY HUBBY]{HE'S MY WORLD-JOY-MY EVERYTHING}

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008):

I'V BEEN WITH THIS BOY FOR 2 YEARS NOW AND I THINK HE'S MR.PERFECT.YES HE'S 17 AND IM 14.BUT I LOVE HIM WIT ALL MI HEART.JUS BE FRIENDS UNTILL YOUR'RE AT LEAST 17.{TUDLES}[I LOVE MY HUBBY]{HE'S MY WORLD-JOY-MY EVERYTHING}

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A female reader, StrawberryTea63 United States +, writes (11 November 2008):

Well, I sort of have the same problem. My boyfriend is 17 too, but my dad really doesn't care as long as he's home while my boyfriend is aroound. You should check into the whole pedofile thing because when your boyfriend turns 18 he's considered an adult and I don't know with you being a minor and everything how that's going to play out. But you should ask your dad why doesn't he trust your boyfriend. And well if your boyfriend hasn't tried anything yet then I'm sure your dad has nothing to worry about and you should tell him that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

You should break up with him before you get in trouble

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008):

Talk to your mom and try to get her to agree to let you bring your boyfriend over for dinner, so your whole family can meet him. Also, invite your parents to double-date with your boyfriend and you. This will allow them to get to know your boyfriend, and it will help to engender trust.

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (25 September 2008):

Jamer70 agony auntSorry but id have to agree with your dad (like most of us men we have been that age before and we know how we think)A 17 year old may be all sweet and supportive but no matter how nice he is there is always that one though lurking in his head. Why a 17 would go out with a girl of 14 i cant answer but chances are he wont wait the 4 possible years before you can legally do anything.

Your dad has been that age and is only looking out for you to protect you from boys who only want one thing and one thing only

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008):

Your 19yr old sister should be dating this guy, not you! 14 and 18 is a huge age diffrence, I have no ideal why a guy his age would want to be with a girl your age. He be 20 before he had sex, and I bet you, he;s not going to wait that long.

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A female reader, kle7 United States +, writes (25 September 2008):

There is no way that an 18 year-old red-blooded boy "just wants to hang out at your house with your parents and be supervised by you sister"! It's not your dad that doesn't get it, it's you. The two of you are at 2 totally different places is your lives. He's getting ready for college and you're getting ready for highschool(or just getting used to hightschool). Even if ya'll were "dating" trust me, you wouldn't be the only one that he would be seeing because if he's not getting it from you, he'll be getting it from someone else. And Please! don't let him preasure you into doing anything that you truely don't want to do!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008):

I am with your dad. A 14 year old girl is too young to be dating an 18 year old. It is the boy your dad doesn't trust, not you. Boys of 18 dating younger girls have one thing on their minds and that is a conquest....more often than not. If your parents allow supervised dating then suggest that, otherwise, put this on hold for now and have more dates with boys closer to your age....or wait until you are 16 to actually have a boyfriend......

Times have changed by some thingd never do, and this is one of those things. When you are a few years older the age gap will not be so important as it is right now.

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