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I'm 14, he's 18. He wants to have sex but doesn't want a relationship!

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 July 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 20 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *ecca emma louise writes:

i really like this boy and he's eighteen and we've been really close for ages. he say he wants to have sex with me and do other stuff but he doesnt want a relationship or know what he wants. it really upsets me coz he would be a great bf but i dont know if we can stay friends when he wants to do all this stuff with me coz i know if i do it and people find out then everyone will call me a slag. should i tell him that i want to stay friends but dont want sex? or should i just get with him and have a good time? i really want a relationship is there a way to change his mind and make him see this is what he wants?? :L xxxx

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A female reader, becca emma louise United Kingdom +, writes (20 July 2010):

becca emma louise is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks karen i know your right :) xx

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A female reader, karen1989 United Kingdom +, writes (18 July 2010):

karen1989 agony auntI lost my virginity like this. He was using me. I found the fact that he was older than very exciting,i thought he'd be more mature-he wasnt. Don't let him take advantage of you,18 is too old if your only 14,trust me. Find someone your own age or a year or too older. But not an 18 year old who has a fetish for sleeping with underage girls. Don't persue him.

Good luck :)

Karen.

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A female reader, LJP2000 United States +, writes (11 July 2010):

You're saying that you think he would be a good boyfriend, however, his actions are showing otherwise. If he really cared about you and how you felt; then he wouldn't be pressuring you to do something that you were uncomfortable with.

Besides that, he is too old!

You should not give in and should not sleep with him. If you do, you will only feel worse. And you will see that he is not the great person that you think he is.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010):

Guys like this are sexy but they will just leave you feeling hurt and used. You can't have the fun without the downside. That's how it works, take it or leave it. He does not want to change and you can't make him want to change.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010):

Okay what self respecting 18 year old would go after someone that young? he is an arsehole and pervert. STAY AWAY

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (11 July 2010):

xanthic agony aunt'i really want a relationship is there a way to change his mind and make him see this is what he wants??'

Nothing is going to change his mind, because he's already told you exactly what he wants. Why would you still want a relationship, in spite of being TOLD by someone they just want to use you for sex?

Also, you should be more concerned about safety and your own health rather than getting a bad reputation.

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A female reader, sunnycomet Canada +, writes (10 July 2010):

sunnycomet agony auntWow.....he sounds like bad news!

He wants sex but doesn't want a relationship...in other words he is just using you for his pleasure and doesn't care for you at all! You would be just a slut to him if you do have sex with him.

Also think about your reputation...if people found out about this then there goes your innocence...you would lose respect. Also other guys will come wanted sex but not a relationship!

Don't ever let a guy use you like that! You will only regret later and feel dirty for letting them use you! You are so much better then that!

My advice is to get rid of this jerk! He is NOT bf material if he would use you for sex! He doesn't want a relationship because he doesn't care! You deserve better then him!

Hold your head up high and don't do something you know you will regret!

Good Luck!

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (10 July 2010):

The Realist agony auntI wouldn't have sex with him; one because its actual illegal for him to do so and two he just wants to use you. Even if you want to have sex at your age find someone who actually cares about you. I don't think that the friendship would really last after that.

If you want to try a relationship with him then tell him so and don't have sex with him for at least six months so he can prove that he doesn't just want sex and that he wants to be with you for who you are. I'm just getting the feeling that he wants to use any young girl for sex because he thinks he can.

Good luck and watch yourself with him.

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