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female
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Kat-91
writes: Hello, i hear everyday that you shouldn't meet someone you have met on the internet, but this is different. In February 2005 i went onto a chatroom that i spent almost everyday on and i met a boy who was 14 at the time. To this day i still talk to him but over msn messenger. In the space of that year i have spoken to him over the phone for hours each night and seen him on webcam and he has seen me, i am now 14 and he is 16. That's all fine for me but now hes introduced me to his best friend, we have a lot in common and he is very flirty with me which i like. i now speak to him more than the other boy who i met last year. (i'm sorry if this is confusing but im not allowed to use names) Anyway people tell me that i can't be in love at this age and i can't love him if i havn't met him, but i know deep down that i do and the more i wait for him the more i want him! He turned 16 yesterday and in a year or so time he will be able to drive, he promised me he would come and see me. I really can't wait but i need to know what others think, as i said it's different to just meeting someone over the internet because i know him so well, i see him on webcam everynight and we speak on the phone.
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best friend, chat room, flirt, msn, the internet Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ..x..Lauren..x.. +, writes (13 April 2006):
 I hope i dont say the same as everyone else... i am the same age as you and met a boy same age aswell from a chatroom... ithought i loved him and arranged to meet up with him even though he lives quite far away... i know this sounds harsh but webcam lies.. he loooked soo different and i wasnt too interested. This mucked up plently of chances with other boys and stuff and it went on for longer than a year before we met. Now i have a different boyfriend and stuff.... so by all means meet him (i did with my rents) but make sure your life doesnt depend on it please babe. Hope i have helped somehow, update me by leaving me a message :) ..x..Lauren..x..
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (13 April 2006):
 First of all, I know you say you heard this all the time and it IS different, well done for staying as safe as possible!
I know how you feel, I've been in the same boat.
Tell your parents everything and make sure they don't pass judgement until you've finished what you have to say. Tell them everything from the start. Fine, arrange to meet him.
If he's a genuine nice dude and he is who he says he is then he won't mind you brining an adult and be sensible. Meet in a public place, stand for no nonsense. Don't go to his home, or his mum's house. Meet in a public place, like town. Then if anything did happen to go wrong, you'll have people all around you and an adult there aswell. Stay safe.
Of course you can feel love at this age, you're human aren't you? Maybe the people who say you can't feel love because you're too young only say that because they didn't find someone they felt love for until they were older.
When the time comes, you'll know the right thing to do. Just take it slow, have a clear head and i'm sure everything will be fine. Good Luck and All The best, Phebes xxx
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A
female
reader, Fearne, a freind in need +, writes (13 April 2006):
 You don´t know if this guy really is who he says he is...there are so many people out there that just want to be nasty and abuse younger girls...you probably have a strong conection with him by now and will probably want to meet him. You can,but do make sure you take a parent or guardian with you for the first time just to make sure that he really is who he says he is. Agree to meet in a public place at around mid day so there will be lots of people around and if anything happens, help will be there, also you will have a guardian with you so theres extra safety. If he turns out to be who he says he is and your guardian/s agree to let you se him them do so, just remember, he is two years older than you so don´t let him push you into doing anything you are not comfortable doing. Good luck and i wish you all the best
Fearne, your friend in need xxx
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A
male
reader, uncle jay +, writes (13 April 2006):
look bbz am sure the guyz realy nice but u gota watch thers to many ? well u no u heard it all before. but just make sure your ok and let no 1 fool u around and when your good and ready to meat him you meat him... but make sure some one knows about it... sure your gonna be safe but hell its the net i have been ther so u just make sure your ready for it and keep them comein bbz ...
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A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (13 April 2006):
 If you really want to meet him you need to tell your parents and then arrange to meet in a public place and take someone with you, an adult - either a parent or a trusted aunt etc.
I know this all seems fine to you and certainly I hope it is all legitimate but you need to be careful - there are some strange people out there and taking a few precautions will not hurt anyone.
If he is genuine and fine, he will not have a problem with someone coming with you until you get to know him better.
The internet is an amazing thing but it can also lead to a lot of tricks and pranks and dishonest behaviour so you need to have your wits about it all the time. Be cautious and make sure that your parents know about any plans to meet up with him.
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A
male
reader, Romeo_69 +, writes (12 April 2006):
 Tell him that you are bringing an adult with you. If he says OK, then fine. If he says no, then report him the police and the FBI.
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A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (12 April 2006):
 I think that Aunty Clare has hit the nail on the head. You seem to be a sensible girl, you've even proven that by asking for advice about meeting someone off the net before doing it...
My concern is......
you know the first guy you were talking to quite well, because you spoke to him on the phone, webcam etc. Therefore you trust him...... Well he introdiced you to his mate, who flirts with you and you fancy him BIG TIME. The only problem is that you have to remember that you don't know him as well as you knew the first lad. The first lad could have introduced you to anyone!
What I am saying is keep your wits about you because it COULD be some sort of trick, like gain your trust with someone your own age and then introduce you to a friend and slowly pull you in......... I'm not attempting to scare you, just want to consider all options!
Bearing that in mind, he could also be genuine, which is the better option and much much nicer :-). If he is genuine then hopefully if you two ever met in person you would get on really well. Please listen to what Aunty Clare suggested.
The only way it is possible and sensible and safe to meet him is to bring a parent into the equation. I'm sure that if you spoke to him about how dangerous it is to meet people off the internet he would understand, and you can say that for the first time you meet you would have to bring your parents along, you know, just in case. If he's genuine than he'll understand and won't mind at all.
Maybe you could go swiming and your parents can just be in the pool as well, or you could go to the cinema and your parents could go as well (they don't have to sit with you). There's tons of things you can do. If you speak to your parents maybe they can make some fun suggestions...
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A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (12 April 2006):
 dear reader. you've been talking to this guy for quite some time so yes i belive you could know quite a bit about him. as for being inlove i think its more lust at your age, i'm not saying its impossible for you to feel love for this guy because i found love at a young age, as for meeting him i think it might be a good dea but please do take an adult with you. What do your parents think about this??
i hope you have told them keeping this a secret from them only shows them that your just acting like a silly school girl (which i hope your not). he has been prepared to wait this long so he sounds a genuine kinda guy but please be careful and open about it.
If you do talk to your folks about it then they will see your being very mature about it and be more likely to come along with you.
be carefull i think you know what the right thing is to do abotu this good luck xx
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