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Im 14 and 9 Weeks pregnant!!! I want to keep it but dont know how!!!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pregnancy, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 January 2007) 50 Answers - (Newest, 21 January 2011)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I'm 14 years old and am 9 weeks pregnant. I saw an ultrasound of the baby recently and heard it heart beat. I was wanting to keep the baby but dont know how to do it at my age. If anyone can help me with this it would be appreciated.

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A female reader, Stevi Australia +, writes (21 January 2011):

Keep it im fourteen and nearly nine months pregnant

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A female reader, katy321 United Kingdom +, writes (17 January 2011):

heya hun,

ano how u feel as i am in the same situation as you . i hav just found out i am pregnant at 9 weeks honestly i am so scared ! my mam wants me too get rid off it but i cant i sed i am keepin it all the way x x

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A female reader, lareina New Zealand +, writes (23 November 2009):

hey there im 14 and preg to im haveing my girl in 4mths and i was relaay sceard at the time and dident tell anyone till i got home one day and my boyfriend told my mum and dad ive been with him for 3 years and its good becouse he lives with me and you need all the saport you can get and if your mum and dad were understanding they would help you through this like my mum and dad so i think you should sit down with them and just come clean good luck hun xxx

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A female reader, india x United Kingdom +, writes (1 November 2009):

i have just turned 14 and i have 2weeks untill my baby girl arrives and my mum and dad dont no i have been wearing baggy clothes and avoiding them im so scared i couldent have an abortions coz i was to far on i didnt even tho i had had sex until he confessed that i was drunk and didnt no what was happening he had also drugged me up i feel like a total letdown to the family what shall i do im so scared

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A female reader, shellybelly132 United States +, writes (20 June 2008):

Honestly keep it. You brought it into this world and you should keep it then. Yea ppl will say ur to young but guess what im 14 as well and i thought i was pregnant. N i just took a test today and i wasnt. I had a miscarage instead. N it hit me and I was more sad than glad. It may be hard n ppl will call u a slut or a whore. But dnt listen to them..they will hve sex and they wouldnt like it if this happen to them and ppl treated them like that. But if you parents arent into helping you with bills....and u hve no money and arent in good shape...do open adoption. But if they will help KEEP IT, there is such thing as wick checks..get those...i dont know how but talk to you doctor...u will save a ton of money like on formula. Formula is REALLY EXPENSIVE and u get it free....so hope this helped

message me if u hve questions

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008):

it is totally normal to be scared at your age but your still a child yourself. you need to talk to your parents because you will struggle to raise it yourself. i was 16 wen i had my little girl and i completly understand what your goin through. i was scared stiff about telling my parents but i did and they supported me througout my pregnancy!! she is now 4! your parents may be disapointed at first because your still their little girl, but they will come round to the idea of being grandparents. i hope you make the right decision for you and your baby, good luck sweetie!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008):

i think you need to tell your mom or someone close to you they should probably help you through this dont try to get rid of your baby if you dont want to, but yet again it is no walk in the park its like fighting for your life against someone twice the size of you, also see if the dad wants to get involved (8/10 he probably wont) if he says no tell his parents and they will want their grandchild to have a father no doubt, but think it through and see if this is what you want.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008):

your a little young.... make sure you tell your parents and get there help, this is a very big decision to make on your own. this is life changing.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008):

There is always adoption too. Infertility is a huge problem today and many people are looking for little ones to love......

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008):

I have grown up with many girls who were in your same shoes. They all kept their babies, and yes I had to watch the miss out and struggle along the way they did it. This is not an impossible task. Put yr big gril panies on and get ready for a ride.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008):

hi, this is rebecca and rosie here, we think that if you want to keep the baby then you should but dont let anyone push you in to anything that you dont want to do. there is loads of help for you if you want to keep the baby, but if you feel that your too young and you won't be able to cope ... well you no what im going to say.. but the best thing to do is to tell your parents they might be able to help you xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008):

hi, this is rebecca and rosie here, we think that if you want to keep the baby then you should but dont let anyone push you in to anything that you dont want to do. there is loads of help for you if you want to keep the baby, but if you feel that your too young and you won't be able to cope ... well you no what im going to say.. but the best thing to do is to tell your parents they might be able to help you xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008):

HI i'm 23 years old and pregnant with my third child. I got pregnant with my first child when i was fifteen and had her when i was sixteen. the advice i have for you is to keep your child. Do what your heart is telling you to do. How is your support team if anyone knows of your pregnancy? My mother had my sister when she was twelve and my brother when she was sixteen. You can do it but weigh out your options first.

Good luck in whatever you choose to do. If you still can't decided what you what to do ask God to help you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008):

No one knows how they are gonna cope. Trust me I'm having my first and I haven't got a clue what to do. If you are that worried you really need to talk to your parents, but you must undertstand that it's your body and your baby, don't let them force you in to anything that you don't want to do. Obviously you are gonna need support for being how young you are, speak to the father and your parents but it's your decision.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008):

Hi there, i think you should talk to your parents. I no u r very young but i feel that these things happen 4 a reason?????? My best friend is 19 and 6 weeks pregnant. She is in a bad situation cos her parents hate her boyfriend. She has told them about it and they arent happy but at the end of the day he has told her he is going to support her and i have told her the same!!!!! Have you got a boyfriend or a very close friend who you no will be there for you. I hope things work out for you xxxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008):

where is the father of your child?

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A female reader, nicole12345678 United States +, writes (28 December 2007):

I'm a nurse. So the first thing you need to do is see a doctor. You need to go to prenatal visits, make sure you are taking prenatal vitamins, plenty of protein and fluids. It would be beneficial if there is a family member, preferably your mother who can take you to your doctor visits and give you the support that you need. You can't do this by yourself.

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A female reader, daniellexxxx United Kingdom +, writes (27 December 2007):

daniellexxxx agony aunti got pregnant at 14 and it is very scary. BUt she is now 2 and i love her to bits i wudnt change her for the world. Talk to your mum and dad tell them how u feel, but remeber its your choice dont do any thing u dont want to trust me. good look xxx

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A female reader, Cat_b United Kingdom +, writes (1 December 2007):

Hi there, its good that you have come on this site to try and gather some advice, but as you can see by reading the comments people have different opinions as nobody is the same but thats good because its giving you all round advice which hopefully will help you come to a conclusion.

Its so hard for you at the moment and I know how you feel, Im guessing that your parents dont know as yet but it may be a weight off your shoulders if you tell them, but if you dont feel like you can tell them now then mabey speak to a friends mum or another adult that could give you some advice, It may feel like the worst thing you have had to do but sometimes your parents will be so supportive even if you think there going to go mad etc, they will proberly be upset but thats understandable as your young and your there baby still, but you cant change the fact that your pregnant and you need some support.

Im 26 and have 2 children who are 2 and 6 months and im also 8 weeks pregnant again, and I wont lie it is a 24/7 job sometimes you feel like pulling your hair out, but on the other hand its the most rewarding job in the world and I wouldnt change it, but I just feel for you because of your age and what support you would have as it would be a shame not to finish school and do all the things your friends will be doing, but only you can make the choice of what to do, do whats right for you, im not going to sit here and reel off a load of options as im sure your already aware of what they are, but just do whats right for you, just because your young doesnt mean you wont cope as well or better as someone older, I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope some of my rambling on helped in some way, Take care and good luck. Catxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007):

wow what a tricky one i had my daughter when i was 18 and remeber how hard it was then but i wouldnt change her for the world she is ten now and ive loved every minute of it dont get me wrong its not always a bed of roses but its your baby and there is lots of support groups out there that can help you good luck and remeber its your choice no one can make it for you xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007):

I think you need to find out what support you have got, Are your parents going to be able to help you? Do you think you are responsable? You've got to remeber that this is a human life, its going to have its own emotions, things it loves/hates, its whole personality, and when your having a bad day, it doesnt mean that your baby is going to be nice and quiet! Think about this realistlicly, If you have the baby Dont blame it for its life, Its your responsability, your bringing it into the world!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007):

I know you prob don't want to hear it but the truth is you may think your ready to take on a baby but odds are your really not ... I was in the same situation ...only i was 16 ... i wanted to keep the baby and no one else wanted me to ... they said it was stupid to put myself though that at such a young age and i guess they we're right... but i saw it like " theres life inside of me "... " a little baby to love and never leave me " well i ended up doing what everyone told me to do (get rid of it) i don't really know if it was a mistake or not and i guess i will really never no but now here i am 19 and pragnant again only this time i am keeping it and i am sure i am able to take care of it now... turthfully no one can tell you what to do... its really all up to you and there are places that can help you like welfare, wic and other places just ask your doctor about that ... but if you do decide to keep it you can't think about yourself no more you have to think about the baby and if your choices in life really going to be the healthiest for your baby ...and if you do decide to get rid of it and i know that sounds really harsh i have some advice that helped me kinda...well i don't want to say get over it but yeah.... write you baby a letter tell him/her why you did what you did and how it was in the best intrest of the baby(its easier to look at it not like you killing it but just postponing it for a little while)thats really the only way i was able to get through it ... good luck to you honey and you'll be in my parys tonight

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007):

I know you prob don't want to hear it but the truth is you may think your ready to take on a baby but odds are your really not ... I was in the same situation ...only i was 16 ... i wanted to keep the baby and no one else wanted me to ... they said it was stupid to put myself though that at such a young age and i guess they we're right... but i saw it like " theres life inside of me "... " a little baby to love and never leave me " well i ended up doing what everyone told me to do (get rid of it) i don't really know if it was a mistake or not and i guess i will really never no but now here i am 19 and pragnant again only this time i am keeping it and i am sure i am able to take care of it now... turthfully no one can tell you what to do... its really all up to you and there are places that can help you like welfare, wic and other places just ask your doctor about that ... but if you do decide to keep it you can't think about yourself no more you have to think about the baby and if your choices in life really going to be the healthiest for your baby ...and if you do decide to get rid of it and i know that sounds really harsh i have some advice that helped me kinda...well i don't want to say get over it but yeah.... write you baby a letter tell him/her why you did what you did and how it was in the best intrest of the baby(its easier to look at it not like you killing it but just postponing it for a little while)thats really the only way i was able to get through it ... good luck to you honey and you'll be in my parys tonight

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007):

You need to think of the pros and cons of your choice, babies are not cute and sweet at first there up every three hours to feed they cry alot and cost alot of money to bring up I have two and one on the way and some days it's very hard and most days wonderful. But as they get older they become more of a resposabilty school, doctors, potty training life is not easy even with the money, house, husbin, so you have to think of the long run not just the now. your 14 you have a long life ahead of you live it enjoy it before you have to be a mommy yourself.

Thne you have to think is the father going to be a help in this or is he just going to go off and spread some more seeds and end more young girls young life. you should be out buying shoes make-up not diappers wetones baby stuff at your age but most of all you have to do what is best for you and your life, you need school and alot more for you I hope your choice is the best for you but eather way you have to live with it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007):

I don't agree with that in the slightest.Im only fourteen but whilst babies are a heavy responsibility, they are also something that need love, have feelings and cry for their mummies, they will be with U forever and will never leave U. Your bassicaly saying she should get an abortion and I don't agree with that. There's a life isnide of her. Im not trying to mes with Ur head or anything but i dont agree witrh this. Its Ur choice, ask ur parents adn ask yourself but if you find you feel connected to the baby Id keep it. But still, its your future ahead of you, so U can listen to either of us.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007):

To all of those people that are encouraging you to keep your baby and how "you'll be fine", they really need their heads testing. For Gods sake!! You are 14!!! You are far too young to have a baby. I can't even believe I am reading some of the "advice" that people have given you. I have a 14 year old daughter that I gave birth to at 16. Do I regret having her? Not in the slightest. Do I regret having her so young? Yes. Having a baby so young was hell. Imagine watching all our your friends grow up, go to university & enjoying themselves while you sit at home changing nappies. Sometimes your friends will forget that you have a baby and will call you to tell you about some night out that they are inviting to you. Not only will you never have a babysitter (although some of your friends will tell you that they will babysit "anytime" while your pregnant but once you have the baby they run a mile - trust me!) but you will also have no money because babies cost a FORTUNE!! Having a baby so young won't ruin your life, but it will make life so much harder for you. People look down their noses at teenage mothers. I am now 30 years old and people STILL sneer at me when I tell them how old my daughter is. Its a stigma that you have to live with for the rest of your life. You might say now that you don't care what people think (and I didn't when I was 16), but once you mature a little, you will. My daughter was also teased at school for having such a young Mum so its not just your life you are making difficult, its your childs too. Tell your parents (if you haven't done already), think about this like an adult, deal with it and get on with your life. You have years and years of baby making ahead of you. Oh and also, don't get yourself into this mess again.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007):

Hey, congrat's! I'm 20 in October my baby is 6 months old and i'm 10 weeks pregnant (was not planned) but i decided to keep this baby as i did the first. i was scared but for me as many people i have spoken to being a mum comes natrually...but being a good mum takes time patients and energy if you want to be a good mum you will be. There are alot of different kinds of support out there for you eg: i had the option on having a nurse come out ever 2 weeks because i had my first baby when i was under 20, talk to you hospital and im sure you could do the same. The people who give you negative comments... ignore them i was worried about being spoken about in a rude way but once i told my family and friends my situation they have been nothing but supportive. You will need help advice and support as all Mums do so dont be shy go and find help when you need it.... youll be fine!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007):

what are kids doing at 14 having sex.....

god im a young mom but 14 is rediculous....

tell ur parents and hope for support you'll need it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

i am also 14 and also pregnant , 9 weeks i belive i am very mature 4 my age and think i will make a good mother i also can not pluck up the corage to tell my parents as i dnt tlk to them about anything, i dint even tell her about my period. bt i have been resighting the pregnancy asking many questions and looking on many website, for instance your one which i only just came across and can relate to soo soo much. i am scared bout the costs 4 this baby and what my parents r goin to say but im sure we'll get through it as we both seem to love this unborn very much. at our stage this growing foetus now has fingers and toes. sorry i seem to be tlkin about myself way to much but i hope you can come on here and relate to my pregnancy too. also do u get bad symtoms 4 example... sickness, smell of bad wee, car sickness, loads of erging, stomache pains ... or has sumthing happend to me ?? have i lost the baby ?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007):

My mum was only 15 when she had me and she coped, she is a brilliant mum and shes my best friend now, you will pick things up, of course it will be hard at first but things will get easier honest, im 20 and pregnant and my mum will be there to help me i know that, i wish you the best of luck huni xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007):

Hi Hon,

im 9 weeks too and a lot older, this is my No 5 i was a teenager with my first and it doesnt get any easier! if you want to keep your baby do it. Dont let anyone bully you into doing something you dont want to do. People have a habit of accepting circumstances they cant change especially when they look into the inocent eyes of a new baby. Having a baby doesnt mean life is over it means a new chapter is beginning, i trained when my older children were in school and am a registered nurse, i hope your family will give you the love and support you need. take care. C XXX

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007):

hey darlin, if u have considered everything and you still want the baby then go 4 it there is always support out there for you if ur parents dont understand like social services which are actually there to help. all you need to consider is that it is hard work i hard my BABIES (yeah twins)at 17 and omg it was hard but i had my mothers support so u need to sit down and talk every thing through and she is bound to say u are still a child but my response to that is that yeah u might be but your having to make adult choices even a 30 yeah old how didnt mean to get pregnant would find this decision hard so good look and i hope eveything goes well for u

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007):

im 22 an iv recently found out im pregnant 9 weeks gone to. im not with the father any more and was scared to tell my family. the best thing you can do if you want this baby is talk to ur mum even tho she is gonna b upset an shocked she'll get over it an support you with wat you decide or if you cant talk to ur mum speak to a family reletive, close friend or even a teacher about it, they'll be able to guide you through it or even speak to ur parents for you. just dont go through it on ur own. gud luck x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007):

Hi, I am 14. And I would love to be pregnant. I dont know why. It confuses me. My friend is 15 and she is 4 months pregnant and she is happy, he mum knows and is supporting her.

Your 14 are you sure you can deal with a baby

Is your mum gonna help you

Do you have a boyfriend

Is the baby his

If the answer is yes to these questions then keep it.

Does your mum know?

How is she gonna react!?

Think - I would love to have a baby, now. But im gonna stick with babysitting for a while!

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A female reader, Julie1 United States +, writes (1 July 2007):

also, i would like to add that you stated your baby, you realize its a baby and not a "blob of tissue" that everyone will make it out to be, you have that baby...

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A female reader, Julie1 United States +, writes (1 July 2007):

Hi, I'm 19 years old and have had 2 abortions.... and both were with in 6 months from now, i didnt want to do it my mom pressured me, you look up to your parents and think what they tell you is best my mom always said "a mother knows best" so i trusted her i figured that things would go back to normal of partying with her drinking and having fun i tried to put everything behind me and move on i wanted to party have friends, and not have my life stop, but i swear to you i would take it back if i could.... im now pregnant again and 14 weeks along im keeping this child, and the father is excited and says he will help one minute then he wont, be ready to face it on your own if you have to ... but just keep your head up maw and know your mommy already and that child didnt make the decision of coming into this world or not.... you can do it... i promise it will all be worth it, like the comments above there are plenty of places you can go to for classes, clothing for you and your baby... just keep in mind you already said you wanted to keep it so stick with it... do what YOU want to and what is best..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007):

Sit down, calm down, and REALLY think about this. YES, creating life is amazing. But you are young. You have 20 or more years to even start considering children. You still have that innocence that comes with being 14 (not to mention a virgin). Bringing a baby into the world with no way of supporting it is selfish. I'm not here to judge, but in all honesty, love does not make a happy baby. It helps but think of all the expenses. Formula (if you choose not to breast feed or can't like me), furniture, clothes, doctors, just the hospital bill alone is insane. Babies are expensive. My advice: take time to grow up and have fun. Party, hang out with your friends, wait until you are emotionally and financially stable enough to have a baby. Trust me, I know the feeling of wanting a baby desperately, it's completely normal, it's just better for everyone if you wait. Also, you can't have a baby without having sex. You're also a minor. Meaning your parents can't kick you out no matter how much they want to. They also can't force you to have an abortion because legally all medical choices are yours and only yours.

My name is Janae Joseph and I'm 14 and I want a baby but this is what a friend told me because i asked well if you ever need to talk here is my E-mail [email address blocked]

I'll be here for you

I am fourteen and i am dying to have a baby. This girl at my school is 14 too and pregnant. She is pretty, nice, and you can tell she would make a great mother! She walks around the hall, her hand on her stomach, smiling. She looks so happy. Why wouldn't she be.?! she is carrying a life inside of her.! its amazing. All i can think about is that. I don't eat, sleep, i can't concentrate, my grades are falling dramastically. My dad is a big christian and i know him and my step mom would kick me out the house, make me have an abortion, or just flat out kill me. but i really want a baby. i know my mom and dad wont support me, but i dont care about them cause this is what i REALLY want! im a virgin and i am scared to have sex. but i just want a baby, they say pregnancy is the most beautiful thing, and i wanna experience that. i ahve a little sister who is two and everytime i look at her i think about me being pregnant and how great it would be. what do i do!??!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007):

Girl it makes no difference how old you are, if you want to keep the baby there will be a way of survival. Im 22 and pregnant, the baby father has no intrest in his child but im keeping my baby with or without the bastard. a baby is a gift regardless of circumstances.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

im almost 19 and 9 weeks pregnant as well.

that is quite the dilemma because you are so young.

are you ready to keep it?

ask yourself these questions:

-can i pay for it?

-am i ready to be a mother?

-where's the father?

- am i on drugs or drinking or smoking?[if so you have to COMPLETELY stop this]

-how do my parents feel about this?

do you have a job? are you going to have anyone to help you pay for it? how do your parents feel about this? are they willing to help? all these are very important questions to ask yourself when you make the decision of whether you're ready to keep it or not.

either way ABORTION SHOULD NEVER BE AN OPTION...its way too late. you even said you could hear its heartbeat.... its a living breathing moving human being now. that's right, it MOVES. you cant feel it because your baby is still so small right now, but it can actually turn somersaults. im keeping my baby as a SINGLE mother and my parents are moving away next month. i dont know if they have them where you live, but i found some classes to help get stuff for the baby and educate me about how my body and baby change... the center is called THE KEIN CENTER.... there may be one in your area. anyway since i hooked up with them, i love the classes. you can earn expensive stuff for the baby that you probably never thought you could afford such as a CRIB. the classes have helped me alot...

but here's what i would reccomend:

make sure before you keep the baby that:

-you have a way to support it

-you have friends to support you TRUE FRIENDS

-you have a job[even if its just babysitting because you are 14, and i dont know of many jobs you can get at 14]

-you're ready emotionally to be a parent

-your maturity level is normal enough to be able to take responsibility the RIGHT WAY. meaning NO DRUGS, NO ALCOHOL, NO CIGERETTES

if you cant answer yes to these questions, there's always adoption. many adoptive parents will let the REAL mother visit the baby whenever they like.

either way, your situation is hard, i just hope you can perservere throughout this pregnancy and choose the responsible decision. ABORTION SHOULD NOT EVEN BE AN OPTION AT THIS POINT.

if you need any help or more advice, you can email me at [email address blocked]

please contact me if you need ANYTHING.

-Ashley

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007):

Hello there, i too was pregnant at fourteen but i didn't carry my child full term, i didn't terminate it. had a scan at 9 weeks and it had already stopped growing and heart had stopped. If i was given half the chance then i would have kept the baby. I am now a mother to a five year old daughter and another on the way,and to be honest it is very hard work and it was only when i had my daughter that i realised i never would have managed a child at fourteen. Having a baby changes your life drastically. I wouldn't change my daughter for the world now but looking back i was glad that i didn't carry that baby full term. I know that might sound cruel to you or other people. But its not an easy job. Some might say being a parent is the hardest job in the world. You really need to sit down and think about this seriously and talk with your parents about it. You don't realise how your life is going to change. You won't get to do the things that you should be doing at 14 and in the years to come. Just make sure you make the right decision,make sure its what you really want. Because if you don't you might grow to resent the child in years to come for holding you back. Cause believe me at 14 having a baby you will be losing out on alot. Don't just think about yourself think about the baby and your parents,cause their lives are going to change along with yours. I don't mean to sound negative and i apologise if i come across that way. I'm just telling you of my experience and how much i would have missed out on as a child myself if i had that baby. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do. I'm sure you'll make a great mum someday but just not right now, remember you still are a child and have alot of growing up and experiencing to do. Don't end your life now.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2007):

Hi,

I am 20 and pregnant. Belive me I have been wanting a baby since I was your age. I think you are VERY brave and grown up for your age to diside that you want to keep you baby. I think that is very wise you have relized that you have a responceablity now and you are owning up to it. I want to let you know no matter the age no one is really ever ready for a baby until they just jump into it and do it. Don't let people get you down for your desistion congrats and good look

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2007):

Take some parenting classes, and read some baby books. you can get help, I was 15 when I gave birth to my daughter, i had know clue what to do. but now she is 5 very smart and very good. so i did something right. just cuz your young doesn't mean you cant do it. Stay strong

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007):

hi my name is shirley im 19 and have a 5month old baby u r really young and should think bout living ur life first i wish i could sumtime getup and go out when i wanted but it not that easy not that i would change my little boy being here but fu do want to keep it u should being a mother just comes when the baby is born u will soon no what ur baby needs by the sound of there cry ect hope this helps? one last thing dose ur mum and dad no if not tell them how u feel asas

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A female reader, Cherries Needs Help United States +, writes (20 February 2007):

Cherries Needs Help agony auntMy name is Jamie, I am 17 years old and when I was 14 I had a beautiful baby girl. I have taken care of her for 2 years and didn't need much help. My parents helped me through it all. Don't worry about it you can take care of the child.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2007):

I understand you are young and think you want to keep your baby. But, this is a real life. You are not playing dolls anymore. You were not even responsible enough not to get pregnant let alone take care of an infant. I think you should give it to a family that can give it a full life. I was young when I had my boys and it is no walk in the park, they would not have what they do if my mother didn't help me. It was HELL! Give it to a caring family and get visits with it and use somthing to protect youself next time. I know this is harsh but the facts!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2007):

I understand you are young and think you want to keep your baby. But, this is a real life. You are not playing dolls anymore. You were not even responsible enough not to get pregnant let alone take care of an infant. I think you should give it to a family that can give it a full life. I was young when I had my boys and it is no walk in the park, they would not have what they do if my mother didn't help me. It was HELL! Give it to a caring family and get visits with it and use somthing to protect youself next time. I know this is harsh but the facts!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007):

wow, that must be so scary, and at the same time, so amazing. and there are so many things you have to be thinking about right now, it must be making your head swim - get the right vitamins, don't eat too much fish, exercise but not too much ... who can keep up with it all?

you need to find a trusted adult woman that you can talk to about this. maybe that's your mother, or maybe it isn't. other women you might think about would be like your school's nurse or guidance counselor, maybe one of your teachers who you respect (now or from a past year), someone from your church or synagogue, etc. if you go to one, an aunt or older cousin, or even just a good friend of the family. it doesn't need to be someone that you know incredibly well - just someone who seems kind and who you think other people seem to respect. she will be able to give you some thoughts and help you think things through, or at least to point you to someone who can.

i think it is so wonderful that you saw your baby and loved it so much right from the start. completely selfless love is the most important quality in a good mother. as some people have already mentioned, there are more ways than one to be a good mother - sometimes the most selfless thing to do is to give your baby to a woman who's better prepared for it, who will love it and cherish it as her own. and sometimes that's not the case - sometimes you have (or can find) the right kind of support system to be a wonderful mother, even at such a young age. good luck!!

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A female reader, Nikita United Kingdom +, writes (29 January 2007):

Nikita agony auntHi there, You are making a very big decision for one so young so first of all you need to search out some advice okay to help you decide if this is really what you want to do. having a baby is a huge commitement and will change your life completely. I know that hearing the childs heartbeat has influenced you but I want you to be sure that you have the necessary support network around you to help you through this. Do you parents know of this decision and support it? What about the father's input? You have to think with your head and not your heart on this. Contact your family health clinic or your GP or phone this number; o800 915 4600 between 9am and 9pm and they will be able to advice you. Here's a useful website a swell;

www.motherhelp.info/keepingyourchild.htm

Think carefully about this okay and I hope the advice helps you. Please let us know what you decide. Good luck and take care of yourself.x

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A female reader, Patient1 United States +, writes (29 January 2007):

Patient1 agony auntHey sweetie,

It's totally normal at your age to be scared and confused. This is a very serious matter because you are dealing with a life other than your own. There is a living being in your body and you have to decide what's best for you and that child. There are many questions that you need to ask yourself and answer honestly. Do you have any family for support? Is/will the father be involved? Are you ready to sacrifice yourself and your needs for the needs of this child? Are you ready to put someone else before yourself for the rest of your life? There are several options but your decision will affect the rest of your life. There are alternatives to abortion if you decide that you are not ready for this baby. There are government programs out there that can assist you in many ways if you want to have this baby. But, if you know that there is no way what-so-ever that between you and the father and family members and/or government assistance that you cannot care financially for this baby, then the child might be better off with a family who cannot have children of their own and who are more than willing to support this baby. Adoption is the best way to go if you're not ready, though I have to admit, you have to be strong enough for it. It's hard to have a person growing inside of you for 9 months and then just hand her/him over to another person. If you chose abortion you should know that it will probably haunt you for the rest of your life and yes, unfortunately I speak from experience on that. Choose wisely my dear for there is another life at stake besides yours. If you have any family members and/or friends that you can confide in, I would do so. Best of luck to you and the little one! God bless!

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A male reader, Ponungalungb United States +, writes (29 January 2007):

Ponungalungb agony auntYou need to talk to your parents and tell them you need their help. It will be important that you get the help and support of your family. Hopefully, they will let you raise your child within the framework of your home.

If your parents are not supportive, contact your local health department to make sure you and your unborn get the proper care you need.

Best wishes to you.

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