A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:hiyyahh help me i realy want a baby and i'm 13 all my mates are sick of me twisting about it i feel depressed because i want one that badi crave it ive saved money up and thought it through the only thing i dont want to tell my perants i know they would stand by mei am mature as i live around adults and always babysit i dont feel complete!! please help thank you xx
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depressed, money, want a baby Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): Even 15 is still way too young!! Do you really want to bring up a child in your parents house? without the father being able to support you both? having a baby will change everything, you can't give the baby back to someone else like you do with baby sitting. Wait another ten years til you're mature enough and financially stable to cope with having a baby. Live your life and have fun.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhiyyahhis that girl dannielle still on here because she seems like a nice person to talk to of my age also i want to no weather she is gonna have a baby like she said. please write back dannielle xx
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female
reader, kitty_3  +, writes (28 March 2009):
 Ummm... no. You should wait until at least your 20s when you'll be mature and responsible enough to handle it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHiyahh
i am so glad i have waited my mate has just had a baby she is 16 and says she carnt cope goodness nose what i would have been like but she has postnatale depression dont no why but she thinks everyone is trying to take over shes not the same no more but anyways i have decided to wait till am 15 then have one
x
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (27 February 2009):
you know what you shouldn't do things just to please your bf. you are only 13, there are going to be plenty more bf's in the future and they will respect you a hell lot more then your current one!
does he realise the finacial responsibility he would have as a father. not to mention the fact he could land up in jail. you would be so STUPID to go ahead with this STUPID plan. you are only 13 for christ sake! enjoy being a CHILD! that's what you are! A CHILD!
take your head out of the sand and see the reality of it. a baby is not a doll that you can just put to one side when you get bored. you can't have a social life like your friends will have, you won't beable to afford nice things and you will miss out on your education! THINK!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 + ♥, writes (27 February 2009):
 See, the problem with that is if he gets you pregnant, that's pretty much proof that he had sex with you. That's illegal at your age. So then he'd be likely to get in some major legal trouble and wind up on the sex offenders registry. Honey, some boys think making a girl pregnant makes them look really manly. Trust me, a real man wouldn't make a 13 year old girl have a baby just so they can look studly. And getting him to help with the baby? I don't think babies fit really well into school, and sport, and hanging out with their mates. No, babies are hard work and aren't much fun for a long time.
You don't want to limit your future because he's rather selfish. Your parents will think that's very selfish of you, to expect them to take care of the baby and pay for things.
Tell him no, and if he leaves you, then he never loved you. He was just using you.
Take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni decided to wait but my bf wants one so i dont want to loose him over it
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): I know exactly how you feel. I'm 12 years old and i'm dieing to have a little baby. I picked out 3 names that i would called him if it was a boy and 2 if it was a girl. I don't think I'm to young but I just googled it before I found this and it said that it's not even legal in some states in the U.S for 12 year old girls to babysit. (doesn't affect me though because I live in England)But that's not the point. I think that every girl in the world goes through this they just don't want to talk about it, [except for my friend Zara who never wants to get married or have kids¬.¬]
I don't have a boyfriend right now so there's no chance of me getting pregnant:(
I even considered having a baby with a teacher :L:L:L:L
But when the right guy comes along for me, that will be it.
I know that it wasn't much help but I hope that it made you feel a bit better :)
All the best
Danielle x
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female
reader, i_love_J +, writes (19 February 2009):
 Hey I know how you feel I know you will do what ever you want no matter what any one here says. But people our age cannot use the rationalizing area of the brain like adults can. It doesn't matter how mature you feel. Being a parent is a full time job, if you wanted a baby you would have to drop out of school to take care of it. If you dropped out of school do you think you would be able to give the baby a good life, the life it deserved? And boys will say that they love you but what if you end up pregnant and the boy leaves? I'm sure your parents probably do not want to raise another child. But I do know how you feel sometimes that's all I can think about but then I realize that I have to fufill that want by getting a good education and making a life for myself before I could even think about taking the responsabillity of another human life. Even though you feel that you have thought it through like I said the rationalizing area of your brain hasn't fully developed. Please don't have a child enjoy being a child yourself. Join a club or go out with friends go see some movies but please do not have a child
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (19 February 2009):
you need to stop thinking about babies and enjoy being a CHILD!
children shouldn't have children! wait untill you are alot older and in a stable relationship and have a good job. you may have said you have saved some money, but that won't support a child or yourself. at 13 you can't even be responsible for yourself, let alone a little baby. stick to dolls!
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female
reader, Tisha-1 + ♥, writes (19 February 2009):
If you say that you need a baby to feel complete, then you aren't really wanting to be a mother, you want something that will love you back unconditionally. I know that you are feeling this very deeply and I know that it matters a lot to you right now. I just want to point something out, please understand that I'm trying to help you think things through all the way.
Okay, what you're suggesting is actually very selfish of you. Having the baby is all about you, not about raising a child. If you do go ahead and have a baby, it will be starting off at a disadvantage right away; it's mother won't have finished her schooling and she will not be qualified for anything but the most menial (and therefore low-paying) jobs.
If you have this baby, it will fall to your parents to help you raise. Has it ever occurred to you that they might want some time off from childcare? That they deserve to decide how they spend their own time and their own money? That your having this baby will strain them in ways you haven't even considered?
I'm not saying that your parents wouldn't stand by you, it's just that they would be so disappointed and hurt that you wouldn't take their future and their wishes and their money and their well-being into consideration. They would be sad knowing that their little girl has just eliminated 90% of the possible options for her future all by having an emptiness inside her.
That child will need clothes, food, diapers, prams, all kinds of things. How much money have you saved?
I think the sensible thing to do is figure out why you feel depressed and incomplete. That might be something you should discuss with your GP or a teacher or your parents, best of all. Once you figure that out, then you can make good decisions for yourself.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, The Gentle Man +, writes (19 February 2009):
 You are way too young to have a baby. You cannot even begin to imagine the work that is involved.
It sounds to me like puberty is the key factor here with all those hormones kicking in.
Think of all the hardship you would put your family through if you got pregnant. You cannot look after a baby full time with no help. You will force your parents into the situation of supporting another child.
Not to mention all the legal problems that getting pregnant at 13 will cause. With the rescent scandal about the 13 year old dad, you can be sure that Social Services will be involved. Also the police would need to get involved.
Have you also thought of how much money having and raising a child costs ?
I can tell you that it runs into thousands of pounds a year. Your parents will stand by you, but its not by choice. You force them to abandon you or live with it which is not a nice thing to do. The financial burden on your parents will increase as they will need to support 2 children instead of the 1. You cannot make enough money to support a baby because you cannot even work yet and get a wage.
Im not trying to be harsh here, but this is the truth straight up.
I understand that this might be hard to accept, but you just arent old enough or mature enough to begin to understand the impact that getting pregnant at 13 can have.
I could mention 25 things that are important that you havent thought about.
You just need to find some activity to keep your mind off it. You will find over the next couple of years you will be thankful you never got pregnant.
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A
female
reader, xXxkinki_katiexXx +, writes (19 February 2009):
 Wel first of all you say your 13 and want a kid??
Your only a kidd yourself!!
And a kidd bringing up a kidd aint gona work,,
You need education, a job, and a better age,,
Young mums are often doing ok-ish,,
If you want to ruin your life then go ahead!!
But any one with common sense would wait!!
:] xXx
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male
reader, damluvaam + ♥, writes (19 February 2009):
 Baby, you didn't even SPELL parents right!
I believe you're depressed but I can promise you that bringing a child into the world to fix it is NOT the answer. Talk to your PARENTS and get some real answers to help you be ok when it is time to be a mom.
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female
reader, a.danica +, writes (19 February 2009):
You dont want a child you are only half way few education.
Even if you saved money, you will still need a job and with no proper grades how would you expect to do this?
ive hada abortion once n i really want anuva child. I am only 16 myself and live in UK. The difference between me and you is that im finishing all my GCSE's etc this year. but it still doesnt give me an advantage as i still need further education as my a levels and go to uni to get a good job.
Well that was my personal opinion but if you want to do it then go ahead and follow your heart. Forget what everyone else thinks its up tew u babsz
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female
reader, mee x +, writes (19 February 2009):
 well, firstly have you got a boyfriend and if so have you asked him whether he is okay with you wanting a baby. if he is you need to talk to your parents, they know best. i know sometimes it doesnt feel like they dont but they do. Another thing you may have thought this through a lot, but a baby is a lot of work, your only 13 maybe wait until your a little older. but it is up to you and your family.good luck x
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