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I'm 13 and confused about my sexual orientation

Tagged as: Big Questions, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 March 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 11 April 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 13-15, *roarker11 writes:

Hello, I'm 13 and I am really not sure about my sexuality. I have had many dreams about having sex with women, eventually one ending in a wet dream. But I keep on thinking about kissing the boy I'm sitting next too, but then I shudder. I try to look up girl skirts as well. I get erections over naked women and masturbate over them which is usually quite quick. I have experimented watching gay porn but that took the same amount of time to ejaculate as watching straight porn. I don't know if this is because I like the thought of someone getting penetrated. If any homosexuals or bisexuals could give me advice on what signs there were for them, that would be a great help. Oh and I fantasise about girls in my class. Thanks. All I was wondering is am I gay?

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A female reader, Shadow Rose United States +, writes (11 April 2012):

Shadow Rose agony auntMy advice is to just go about life like you are straight for now, and in a few years, once you've got more of a grip on who you are as a person, you should re-evaluate what kind of person, be it male , female, or both, that you are attracted to, since it'll be much easier after your hormones calm down a bit :)

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A male reader, Corkster United Kingdom +, writes (11 April 2012):

Hey mate am 14 and bi but mostly gay if that makes sense lol. But when i wad your age i thought the same i dont think u need to worry about it ur young and have the rest of your life ahead of you to exserment so dont worry mate. Mybe stop looking at girls skirts tho thats not good and you will get into trouble for that. I always watch gay porn and sonetines dont get turned on at all so dont worry. Xx =)

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom + , writes (14 March 2012):

k_c100 agony auntWell if you are not at all attracted to men, then I would say the signs are pointing to you being straight!

I'm 99.9% certain you are not gay, there is a chance you might be bi-sexual but that will become clearer in time as you grow older and mature. But I think you are probably straight, if there is no attraction to men and you just like the penetration aspect of gay porn then again, it indicates you are straight.

As I said before, dont worry about it and see what happens as you grow up. Your hormones have a big part to play in sexuality so they will level out when you get older - so there is no point in trying to decide what your sexual orientation is right now. Just go with what feels right - if it feels right to date girls then go with that.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012):

It's just a dream!

Don't read to far into it!

You are just 13,just starting to feel sexual desires ect its natural you will be confused.

It'll all become clear it you in time.

Sexuality is fun, experiment!!

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A male reader, groarker11 United Kingdom +, writes (13 March 2012):

groarker11 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I believe that I am straight as I do not find men attractive at all. I always feel warm inside when I talk to girls in my class that are quite pretty, I just wondered if the signs I pointed out were happened to homosexual or bi sexual people

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom + , writes (13 March 2012):

k_c100 agony auntI think you are bi-sexual, however you are too young to define your sexuality just yet so dont worry too much.

A lot of young teenagers like yourself have feelings for both men and women, and can easily be turned on by both. This may mean that you turn out to be bi-sexual in the future, or you may pick one direction and stay with that. However it can take years for your hormones to settle and for you to figure out exactly what you want from a relationship, so you need to be patient, dont worry about sexuality just yet and see how it goes.

Time will sort this issue out for you, there is no point in trying to pigeon-hole yourself at such a young age. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to both sexes, and experimenting with both boys and girls when you are older (and legally able to) is not a bad thing.

Try not to worry for now - and one word of advice, dont look up girls skirts! That is disgusting and rude, if you are ever caught you will get a bad reputation, you may be reported to a teacher and you will never get a girlfriend if you carry on like that!

I hope this helps and good luck!

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