New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login225754 questions, 981619 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I'm 12, horny and shy

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 August 2008) 10 Answers - (Newest, 9 March 2009)
A female United States age 18-21, *oBrosRockMySox writes:

Well im 12 years old and I am very shy around boys! I really dont go far with them but sometimes I get horny and I really want to have sex! What should I do?

View related questions: horny, shy

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, Chelz247 Åland Islands +, writes (9 March 2009):

OMG your only 12 pls don't do something stupid!!! take it slow relax...you have many years to get horny!

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, Link55t United States +, writes (8 March 2009):

Ok I'm 13 and I felt wrong too feel these feelings cuz most of my friends didn't . I want to have sex but I must wait, and I know I must wait. Thanks for showng me I'm not the only one. And if ya really got the hots.try to mastibate

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008):

Hi, i'm 13 and i Feel horny and shy sometimes. I look around the net to seek adivce but they just say it's natural and that you'rr too young to have sex so what i do is talk to a trustworthy friend and she says she feels like that sometimes too. Its good to know that youre not a freak for feeling horny at a young age :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008):

well im 14 and have felt like that since i was 10 and still do

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, ChiRaven United States +, writes (22 August 2008):

ChiRaven agony auntBeing shy is nature's way of protecting you from a very big mistake. You have one of the very strongest of urges that a human being can have ... comparable to the need to eat when you are VERY hungry ... driving you to want to have sex RIGHT NOW!!! But inside you know that you are not really ready for it.

There are just way too many things that can go wrong if you have sex now. Starting with what that urge is all about ... you could get pregnant. Are you ready to have a baby, care for and raise a child on your own? I didn't think so. Being shy helps protect you from having to face that eventuality. Thank goodness for your shyness.

Sex is something that is going to be a part of your life eventually. Don't worry. It will come. And when it does, if you take it in its own time, and plan for it carefully, and do it right, it will be wonderful and fulfilling and will give you and your partner (or partners ... nobody says there has to be only one) a wonderful time for years and years to come.

But right now your body is sending you mixed messages. "I need it NOW", and "I'm not READY." Listen to the one that says you're not ready. Because starting now is something that you can't undo. It's kind of like un-scrambling an egg. It just doesn't work. And it can cause all kinds of problems for you. I just mentioned one, but believe me there are a LOT of others. Deep down you know this.

Concentrate on yourself as a social person. Sex really is best when you do it as part of a relationship. The reason for this is that if you take the time to really know your partner BEFORE you have sex with him, the two of you will be used to communicating with one another openly and honestly. You know how hard it is to talk to other people sometimes, especially to boys? Well, you need to do that to have really good sex. Because you aren't a mind reader and neither is your prospective boyfriend. But if you can talk to one another easily about anything, BEFORE you have sex, then once you make the decision to start having sex you can agree that you will tell each other what's going on DURING sex, and that you will work on trying to make it better for each other. And good communication leads to better and better sex. And good sex and more sex with the same partner leads to better sex as well. He shouldn't have to try to guess, while you're doing it, what would make it feel better for you. You should be able to tell him directly. Because 99 times out of 100 he'd only guess wrong. But that talking is ONLY going to happen if he's somebody that you're already comfortable talking with about just anything, and you've agreed ahead of time that you can talk about these things during sex and both of you will listen to the other.

But all this means that you need to get to really KNOW your partner FIRST. And that means you need to learn how to get to really know boys. That's a skill you can practice right now. Sex can wait. Learn how to become a really good girlfriend. One who can really talk to her boyfriend. One who gets to know what he likes ... what his favorite hobbies and books and foods and movies and sports are. One who does activities with him because they are things you both enjoy. Be a good conversationalist. Think of it as a long term investment in good sex later on. Because good communication makes good sex.

Yes, you're horny now. You're SUPPOSED to be horny now. But you're also shy, and that is something that protects you and allows you to get really ready for the time of your life once you are really ready to start on your sexual adventure.

Best of luck to you, dear lady!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, hollkey2 United States +, writes (22 August 2008):

hollkey2 agony auntHey I know how u feel Im 11 and I feel that way to girls.All u hav 2 do is when u feel that way is think about something else.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008):

Your hormones are crazy right now but bear in mind that it is probably seriously illegal for you to have sex. In England, where I live, you could even be taken from your family for having sex at twelve. I don't say this to scare you but to remind you that acting on your feelings could have big, bad, consequences.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008):

You're too young to be having sex. You shall wait, and if you had sex now with a boy this'd be called rape because you're too young. If any boy touched you in an indecent way the right thing to do would be to call the police and report them.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, starfairy United Kingdom +, writes (22 August 2008):

starfairy agony auntWait a while for sex hun! As for the shyness, you'll overcome it :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008):

your at an age when lots of girls think like this. you don't need to do anything about it. most girls feel this way.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

New answers are blocked to this question

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.109375!