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I'm 12 and just lost my virginity, now I'm really regreting it!

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 February 2007) 42 Answers - (Newest, 22 December 2009)
A female United States age 18-21, *MGxITSxLENA writes:

omg....I am 12 and I lost my virginity this year. I love my bf...i do but, now I'm regreting wat i did. I feel like a slut now! I promised i would "save" myself until I got married! But i have just been wanting to do "it". I just wanted to see wat it would be like....i never meant for it to happen.

I'm too scared to tell my grandma (my mom doesnt live with me anymore)because im scared she will hate me or kick me out. I'm not trying to boast or brag, but I'm a preppy girl, who shops at Abercrombie. I never wanted this to happen and i want to a tleast finish high school before i get pregnant or even want to get pregnant!

Just a couple of weeks ago me and my BF did "it" and I was supposed to be on my period today or anytime soon. Well, i havent started it yet...and I'm getting really worried! Do you think i might be pregnant? Should i tell me grandma how i fell and hope she wont be mad at me for making such a stupid decision? Should I ask her to buy a pregnancy test for me just to make sure?

thx alot

View related questions: be pregnant, lost my virginity, might be pregnant, period, pregnancy test

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A male reader, Dekanese India +, writes (22 December 2009):

I lost my virginity wen i was 10..n i m 19 now..i believe der is nothing wrong in having sex at 12...dis is the new generation...2days kids lose der virginiy b4 13-14..thats the indisputable truth...but always remember 2 hav safe sex...n believe me " sex is not a taboo in 2days culture "...sex is the essence of our life...so i suggest u 2 hav dis experiences...der is nothing better stress reliever than a healthy sex...

best of luck....

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A male reader, Dekanese India +, writes (22 December 2009):

I lost my virginity wen i was 10..n i m 19 now..i believe der is nothing wrong in having sex at 12...dis is the new generation...2days kids lose der virginiy b4 13-14..thats the indisputable truth...but always remember 2 hav safe sex...n believe me " sex is not a taboo in 2days culture "...sex is the essence of our life...so i suggest u 2 hav dis experiences...der is nothing better stress reliever than a healthy sex...

best of luck....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009):

Its Ok I Lost it like 3 days ago and i skipped my period and im only 12 and my parents dont know , plus i did this in my room when my family was in the house i dont feel slutty cuz ppl call me slut and i dont care what ppl say its ok dont let other ppl judge yu and just forget the past

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A female reader, cyberbreezy United States +, writes (1 November 2008):

I wouldnt worry just next time wear a condom!!! There shouldnt be a next time though

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008):

no one should have sex at that age its wrong but your young and didnt know any better i think you should talk to your grandma about it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008):

Sweetie, first of all take a deep breath. Wanting to do "it" is natural and sometimes we give in to things and listen to our bodies instead of our minds. It is okay. While it isn't something you can get back, you should not feel like a slut. Your worries and regrets prove that you dear are not a slut. It says nothing bad about you and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. The best thing to do is to sit your Grandma down and tell her the truth. I know you did an adult thing but you are still very young. Taking this step meant taking a responsibility and you must address your Grandma like an adult. She will still love you regardless and the truth is the best way to go. I am sorry you are having these worries, sex is a beautiful natural thing and it should not be accompanied by these worries. Just remember, just because you did it once does not mean you are under any 'contract" to do it again. Listen to your heart and the rest of you will follow. The best of luck to you.

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A female reader, xxhelpmepleasexx United Kingdom +, writes (8 October 2008):

hey

i was just wondering did you have the baby???/

If so i wish you and the baby lots of luck and a good future.

and your not alone loads of other teenagers get pregnant, adn yer it not a good idea, but uve done it now and u just have to move on.

I hope this helped :)

P.s.Please tell me if you had the baby or not! :)

xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008):

Sorry Lena, I know that you posted nearly a year ago, and all your problems have been solved but this is for all the other teens and pre-teens who have come on board to answer you question.

I am an adult, yes when you are young, you want to find out what sex is about. It is forbidden and there are good reasons for that. You can feel embarrased, you can get pregnant, and you can catch diseases that will kill you, or stay with you for the rest of your life. You don't know what your doing, that's why sex for children is forbidden. If anybody finds out you had sex at 10 or 12, they will think you a slut, a slag.. this will stay with you for life. Even when your 30 or 40, some people will still judge you and turn you away. Sex at a young age is stupid, it makes people think less of you, they will think you are desperate for sex and this type of judgement never, ever, ever goes away. No man will want to marry you. If you had sex at 10, 12 or 14, he will expect to have sex with you without marriage. You will spend your life alone, and men will have sex with you, but they will never. ever respect you....

That's how life goes. You may be curious, and Dear Cupid can help you deal with this. But to have sex at such a young age makes you vunerable, and certain people will judge you badly for the rest of your life...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008):

I'm 12 too and I lost my virginity a few months ago. I missed my period for a week afterwards the first time and was worried too. Chances are you're not pregnant. If you want to do it again it would be good if you could get condoms. I know that may be hard. I wouldn't tell your grandmother just yet because she will probably get mad over nothing. I don't think she would hate you or kick you out. And you're definitely not a slut.

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A female reader, babay. Costa Rica +, writes (16 July 2008):

aww man, let me tell you something. i lost my virginity just earlier this year. i really loved the guy and i thought he was my everything. it kept bothering me. now we're apart and we're not together anymore. we were only together for about two weeks. now i regret it so much and when i first did it with him i skipped my period and i thought i was pregnant too. i cried and just prayed to god i wasnt. it was the biggest mistake i ever made in my life. but you know what i dont regret it and neither should you. now you know better i suggest the best thing you should do is no matter how hard it is if your pregnant tell your grandma and if your not you should just put all that behind you and move on with your life hun. life is too short to be worried about these things. there are kids that go through alot more in life. you should be thankful the guy didn't turn out to be affected by aids or hiv or anything like that. and you should definiteley get tested though. all i can tell you is your not the only one. we all make mistakes and you made yours. now its time to just focus on your life, focus on your education and your friends and family. now you know better. anyways good luck with everything

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008):

Hey Lena, I just wanted to say you should speak to an adult about it. Maybe not your Grandmother, but maybe a young female teacher at school. It will feel better once you have confided in somebody you trust completely, who won't judge you or broadcast your personal life to others. Unless you know 100% whether you're pregnant or not, I'd leave that part of the story out, for now.

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A female reader, soiamstellar United States +, writes (13 June 2008):

soiamstellar agony aunti lost my virginty too a couple of weeks ago and i regret it and feel slutty and all that but look its not that ur gonna get pregnant....

okay so what i think is that i know how u feel about telling your grandma thats how i feel about telling my family but i think you should just keep it yourself and try 2 get a pregnancy test i mean like if you do get pregnant just tell me and i'll try to give you the best advice i could.i promise.just private message me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008):

I am fourteen and I have never done it nor have I ever had a boyfriend. It's not cause I can't get one, but its cause I don't want one. You're just twelve and you've just made a very very big mistake that can change your life. When it comes to things like this, you need some kind of emotional/parental supporter who can help you go through this. It is better to accept your mistakes then regret not telling your loved ones and having to go through this on your own. Whether or not you're pregnant, you really have to tell your gran because she will help make sure that you make good decisions in your life. I hope you learned your lesson that pre-martial sex is not the way to go and that there are many other important things than sex, like finishing your studies and get a job so that in the future when you do have kids, you can support them. You have to think things through before making decisions and how it can affect your future. Good luck.

[Moderator Message] We seem to have a lot of Unanswered Questions piling up at the moment. Any aunties want to respond to one or two and help clear up the backlog? Just click the 'Unanswered' link above and strut your stuff. Thanks!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008):

well you could probably go buy a test yourself. i know in PA you can. they cant really ask for ID cuz not everyone has it. if you look older than 12, say your older. i just lost mine too and im scared im pregnant too. so i know what your goin through. just try gettin one by yourself first and if they deny you, then you do have to tell her. just say how sorry you feel and your really scared. i hope everythin works out for you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008):

I'm 12 years old and I have many tiny bumps around the back of my penis and they never go away??

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A female reader, micheeeellleeeee United States +, writes (10 April 2008):

hi! i'm 12 also, and i lost my virginity about a month ago. i did feel sluty at first, but tht's only because people were calling me one because some how they found out. my advice about tht is dont let big mouths know! i was due for my period a weel after i had sex and it was like a week. i flipped out and all,thinking i was pregnant. i got it 2 days after tht week. so i wasnt pregnant. you have the right away to be worried, but dont worry to much, it will delay your period. i did NOT tell my mom or grandma or anyone i trusted, if my mom finds out, she'd kill me. so some advice, wait a little longer for it to come, if it don't then i suggest you do tell your grandma, she really needs to know when it that late. hope it helps. (; -michelle.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008):

don't worry. you probably aren't pregnant, and you don't sound slutty to me. i'm a 12 year old guy... but i havent lost my virginity yet. the odds are that you aren't pregnant. your period will come soon enough and you'll see. seriously i wouldn't worry about it. and anyway, hes only 12. if he is producing sperm it wouldnt be much... it realy doesnt matter. but i do suggest you use protection next time... i know how it goes though.. its like... unplanned and its all like that. nevermind. just have 1 in your pocket, or better, ask him to keep one in HIS pocket. after all it IS his stuff, you shoudn't have to take care of it. you can get them in vending machines now so you dont have to show ID or go through any embarrasing stuff if you try to buy it at a shop...

good luck =)

contact me if theres anything u wanna talk about too... at um... [email address blocked]

PS other people reading this who arent the girl who asked the question: dont take my email adress and spamm it or i'll jump through my computer into yours and strangle you =) heh just kidding... but no spamming ok?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008):

And she's 12 years old people are I cannot belive there's actually people that are telling you not to keep your baby hey with god evrything is possible he'll never let you down. And to whoever in here is 12 14 15 that's till young and don't judge her ; and don't be surprised because I know this generation has kids loosin there virginity at 8 or even 6 god knows.. So don't feel bad kk byeee.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008):

Hey there well let me tell you that I lost my virginity at 12 too... I'm 18 now And I didn't feel slutty at all I loved him an he loved me too ;; is things that just happend never regret specially if it's going good with you and him.. I started going out with my first "true love" when I was 10 years old, meaning the year 2000, and whet on strong, but had our fights till august 24 2007. That's a pretty long time and I don't regret it cause we are still friends till this day. Let no one judge you and you woudnt have to be worried about been pregant if you would use condoms not only should you be worried about that but there is a lott dieseases out there so use it and you won't have to be worried about nothing. When you get really worrid if your pregnant or not after having sex your period is going to be late cause when under stress it delays Always remmeber not to sleep around with diffrent guys even if they "love you"... cause then you will start hating yourself and this and that. You should tell your grandmother I think. But do what you think is best. Wish you luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008):

Okay 12 wayyy to young to be even thinking about loosing it to be honest, but i know people do it. Im 15 and i lost my virginity last weekend to my boyfriend of a year. I know how you feel in some ways, you're regretting it because you feel slutty! Truth is if you truely love him its not slutty, its a way of showing affection. But at your age my mind was far from that.

As for your period. I'm a day late on mine and yeah i would be lying if i said i wasnt freaking out about it. But by worrying about it you yourself can delay it! I do suggest you tell your grandma or an adult you trust. I told my mum because i felt i had to, if anything went wrong she would be able to help me. She is disappointed in me, but fair enough. I did what i did and i can't take it back and neither can you.

Every single one of your actions has a reaction. But stop worrying.

Good Luck xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008):

your a very young girl. too young too understand all that stuff. i strongly suggest you telling someone u trust, and someone who will listen to what you have to say.

hope i was a help!

xoxox,

Caylen.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007):

You are very young to have done something like this with a boy. When i was 12 i hadn't even kissed a boy yet. Once you do something like this, you can never go back. If i were you i would not tell my grandma right away. First, i would wait a few more days to see if i got my period, then if a week or so had went by, i would maybe mention it to her. Explain to her that you didn't think that you would ever get stuck in that situation. And also tell her that you really regret it and wished you wouldv't waited until marrige. If you do happen to be pregnant be sure to tell your boyfriend that he is going to be a father and hopefully he will help out with the child! I'm wishing you the best luck on your results!! Thanks a Lot,

Morgan T.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007):

if i were you i wud tell your grandma she will understand, maybe you should go to the docters just to be safe. love maddie

xxxxxxxxxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007):

Hi, hope this is a help.

I am 14 years old, and lost my virginity when i was also 12. Don't feel like a slut! Everybody is ready at different times. I am still with my BF now and still going strong, when i first lost my virginity i was stupid to not use protection, and my period was late. But i eventually got it and escaped by not getting pregnant. But if you are truly worried go see a doctor, or go to the local clinic. And remember, next time you have sex...use protection!

Love Kim.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007):

gurl u shood jus tell

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007):

well i think u shood reelly tell i no what u benn threw i no bcuse i 12 2 n im preagnet

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007):

just tell your grandma i did

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007):

I am only 13,but i defenetly think you should tell your grandmother. I doubt she would really be mad at you. if anything she would be scared. ask your gradmother to take you to see a doctor. and don't be scared of your grandmothers or a doctores opinion, its your doctors job to help you and to understand. as well as your grandmother.

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A female reader, superswimmer101 United States +, writes (28 June 2007):

I am 13 years old ok and i think you should definatly tell your grandma about your issue! if you are prenate then youll grandma will find out about it eventually and if you tell her and be completly honest first then shell probably be upset but atleast she wont think your a lyer!!good luck with everything and talk to your grandma you might be surprised at how understanding grandmas can be

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2007):

wow..I'm 14 and I've been thinking about loosing my virginity but i haven't done it because i don't want to regret it. i understand that you just wanted to try it and i can only imagine how scared you probably are. honestly I'm not going to tell you to tell your grandma because i know i would be too afraid to. i think you should go and find someone older you trust and have them take you to a clinic to get you checked out, but you should do this soon because the sooner you find out the sooner you can tell your grandma and get it out of the way. i hope everything works out for you...and try not to feel ashamed of yourself everyone makes mistakes

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007):

Hey im 12 and i havent done "IT" yet and I want to know what its like and every thing about it because I want to be prepared u know i'm really scared to do it but i gatta do it sometime well e-mail me sometime (EMAIL REMOVED).

*Moderator Note: I left this comment approved to tell people that soliciting or hinting for sex between two people here on DearCupid is strictly forbidden - ESPECIALLY between two under-aged people whom haven't even reached their teens yet, let alone being adults!*

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007):

ok remember next time to use a condom i know i will my first time i just don't know were to get one!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

tell someone you can trust, and i strongly suggest you get rid of the baby if you are pregnant, I'm sorry for being so blunt but, when you should be going to University just STARTING your life, your kids gonna be six years old....

I hope everything goes ok and wish you all the best in the future :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007):

hiya

12 is really young, if you used contraception then you most likely wouldnt be pregnant. You should tell a person you trust a teacher can strangely be a really understanding person, talk to your form teacher if you are having regrets or doubts on what you have done.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007):

I made the same mistake but i am 10 i am now 4 months pregnant cause me and my bf didnt use a condom but wait at least 4 More days ánd stop worrying about it i hope that if you are pregnant that your bf takes care of it like mine is going to do good luck i am praying for you

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A female reader, keely-h United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2007):

keely-h agony auntlook you are much too young for this i am thirteen and there are just loads of problems for starters you could have s.t.d and you might get called slag or slut at school girls can be like that girls who are reading this savethink before you act !!!!!

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A female reader, sugabean South Africa +, writes (1 March 2007):

my darling you are way to young to do that i am 18 and still havnt but i didnt select to write to you to tell you what you have done wrong!!! more so to say you know its done there is nothing you can do about it now except you can pray to God for forgivness. and to help you through this because it is emotional and cause troubles for you.

You need to also sit your boyfriend down and explain that this was a mistake you will not be doing it again until later in your life which i hope is till your married. you dont want to get a reputation of a slag.... reps stick and it can ruin your life..

As hard as it is you need to talk to your Gran beacuse she is a woman she cant discipline for it. She can be dissappointed which infact is what will happen but she will be there for you.. And if not(which i pray doesnt happen) you still have the people who actually took the time out to read your story, to ask for help. You can even chat to me privatley. Id actually really like that. dont hate yourself for this it is a common mistake.

And as for your period. worrying to much can cause a delay. and its only been one day anyway. wait a week then take a test. Still speak to your gran as soon as possible

Please let me no how this is

I dont know you but i want to help (ill be praying for you)

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A female reader, confused_in_luv07 United States +, writes (1 March 2007):

i made the same mistake just like yours when i was 14 and i regret from doing that i now am in a relationship where my bf lost his to me and i wish i could do the same i saw that u regret on what you did but i feel the same way too but u can never regret just try to FORGET. It may feel better to tell your grandma or your bf to buy you a test just to make sure but just to make you feel better you should just tell some one its hard but u got to. hope that i gave the right advice.

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A female reader, confused_in_luv07 United States +, writes (1 March 2007):

i made the same mistake just like yours when i was 14 and i regret from doing that i now am in a relationship where my bf lost his to me and i wish i could do the same i saw that u regret on what you did but i feel the same way too but u can never regret just try to FORGET. It may feel better to tell your grandma or your bf to buy you a test just to make sure but just to make you feel better you should just tell some one its hard but u got to. hope that i gave the right advice.

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A male reader, moomoomoo United States +, writes (1 March 2007):

moomoomoo agony aunti think you're just freaking out over nothing and that might be causing a delayed period, if at all it is delayed.. i think for the most part you are fine.. but then you should still take the advice of the two who just replied

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (1 March 2007):

AskEve agony auntMake an appointment to see your GP or go to a well woman's clinic and they will be able to test you AND it's confidential! Either that or buy a pregnancy kit and take a test. I would wait a little longer though to see if your period arrives before testing yourself.

Let it be a lesson to you in the future. You really ARE too young to be dabbling in this and you should always use contraception.

Eve

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007):

if you are worried don't keep in it inside you should be comfortable enough to tell her cuz u know she won't kick you out because you are only this young once just tell her it was a mistake and it got out of hand hope this helps xxx christmas

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