A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i think my new boyfriend is lying . the reason im thinking this is because he told me his dad had fallen really badly and had to go to hospital (the day of our date) we havent met each others families yet so its not like i could ask his family myself. when i texted him to see how his dad was doing and when hes off to visit he told me his mum was there at the time i texted 12.45 (2-4pm is visiting hours) and he was going later . he used this excuse before 2 week previous so i thought id double check things (because of previous lying about another family member and also his friend ). the time his mum was at the hospital was no way in the visiting time bracket the hospital allows by over 1 hour,the journey to the hospital would be 30 mins he texted me all day so couldnt possibly drive and txt, over 1 hour after the official visiting time ends(6-8pm) he texts (9.14pm) hes now home as tho hes trying to keep up the lie. He has admitted to lying about some things in the past 5 times in the space of 4 week so he hasnt built himself a good impression to me he obviously has issues and feels the need to invent stupid lies that gets him caught out very easy .Theres more detail about other things hes said that dont match up and lots of other things i can say but id be here all day . i dont know why he lies he just seems to be one of those people who feel they need to lie to make their life more interesting. do i stick about and help him show him people shouldnt lie or do i ditch him and say ive caught him out with his lies and dont want to bother with him (even tho i like him so much) i am the kind of person who would bring up the subject to his parents wen id meet them and ask how his dad is doing since being in hospital in october , clearly if his dads says he wasnt in hospital ive dropped my boyfriend right in his lie and i have 100% proof . (im not aiming to go out and get proof of everything he has said i do have a life )
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 October 2015):
 I agree with Auntie BimBim.
Last time I was in the hospital there was a set "visiting hours" but it wasn't strictly reinforced, neither was it for my husband when he was in hospital.
When I had my kids visitors were allowed all day but was sent out of a doctor came for a check up or chat, but that was in Germany though.
You say he has ADMITTED to lying 5 times already about other stuff, so he IS used to lying. For some, it's second nature. They lie just as easily as telling the truth.
It really comes down to this, if PERSISTENT lying is something you are NOT willing to deal with... End it and walk away. He will not change. This is a pretty ingrained habit.
Not being able to trust a person you "could" be building your future with is useless.
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (4 October 2015):
Well if you're sure he's lying and you've only been together 4 weeks I'd just end it. How can you have a boyfriend if you have to question everything he says? How is it even possible to have a relationship with someone like that?
Dealbreaker. You can't fix a pathological liar, and calling him out on it will just prompt more lies.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (4 October 2015):
 Sticking around to teach him people shouldn't lie is a lesson for children not a grown man. Suspecting he tells porkey pies is unsettling enough I would imagine, but him coming clean by his own omissions just confirm it. Stretching the truth might make life more interesting for him but there is only so many stories taken with a pinch of salt before it eventually leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Who is it you like so much because how much is fact and how much is fiction?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2015): HiYes he may be lying, but with the examples you have given I can think of why he could be telling the truth very easily. When I was newly with my boyfriend he would text me when I know he was driving home from where we'd just been. I asked him how he managed it and he said he kept stopping so he could text.If someone has been newly admitted to hospital, the hospital doesn't keep to visiting times as they know the family will be anxious to see them. I have experienced this myself a few times.When he texted you to say he was now home, why was this a lie? I can only think that the timing is making you suspicious. So say he did leave the hospital at eight, when visiting finished. He maybe didn't leave immediately, went to the loo, talked to other family members? Are you thinking that as soon as he gets home he should text you? Perhaps he was home a good half hour before texting you? I don't know obviously, but you sound as though you are expecting him to lie and as his track record isn't good this is understandable, but can't be a good basis for a relationship. As you like him so much, stick around and be observant, but I think in your observations that you have listed, you are being too critical and pedantic. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (4 October 2015):
 Are you sure visiting hours are restricted for close family members?
They aren't here in Australia, unless in ICU or a special request of the next of kin or doctor.
However, if you are certain he is lying about this, and other things, then you need to decide if lying is a deal breaker or not.
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