A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:If you have to tell yourself you're not a lesbian, does that mean you're hiding it and just not accepting it? Because I keep telling myself that i'm not since I can't stop having compulsive, obsessive thoughts about my sexuality. I know. I KNOW I am not a lesbian, maybe bisexual, although I would only date a man. But, somehow that's not enough to convince my brain. Is this normal? Because I would be able to admit if I actually was gay and I think I would know. Has anyone else experienced this?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 August 2015):
 Yes, having strange thoughts and being unsure/conflicted about ones sexuality is normal for a teenager.
A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (28 August 2015):
 Hi,oh absolutely!! I have experienced this and my sexual orientation when i was 15, 16 and 17, was very confusing to me.Although i didn't have sex until much later in life, as young as 13, 14, 15, 16 and 17, i was actually much more attracted to females than males. I felt more comfortable around other girls and they too, around other girls.I had a few close, intimate encounters with three girls that i knew very well back then and to this day, we are all still very close with one another.What we did back then, didn't destroy our friendships.I guess as we were all young, still growing up and 'finding ourselves', none of us judged the other, nor did we read into what we did.We didn't look upon our actions as 'dirty' or anything like that.We all came to realise, that we were simply experimenting with our sexuality and actually, we had fun!At your age, it is VERY NORMAL to be confused about what, ultimately, your sexual preference will be and until you're a few years older, you most probably won't know.Don't worry too much about it at this stage actually, allow yourself the appropriate time to grow up both mentally, emotionally and physically, however long that takes you and you will eventually find out.From all you've mentioned, it sounds highly probable that you are going to be heterosexual, although this is just my personal opinion.You may end up fully straight, or bi-sexual.It really matters not, what the outcome is, because it's your sexual preference/s and nobody elses and it matters not what others have to say regarding the personal choices that you make.We live in a pretty judgemental world, regrdless of what you do or say, so always be pre-prepared for gossip in some form or shape.Even when we do the right thing and even when we've found true happiness, there will always be somebody out there, who will test the waters and try to rock the boat, so to speak.Worry not about this, as you cannot be ALL things to ALL people, certainly not where your sexual orientation is concerned.Remember this, be TRUE to YOURSELF and do what makes YOU happy.If you can do this, everything will be alright.All the best! :-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2015): You are at an age where sexual-ambiguity,and/or a little confusion is pretty much the norm. When you fall in-love for the first time; you'll know what your real preference is.
You're now at an age of confusion, exploding hormones, a growing body, and a developing mind. Discovering your sexuality for the first time. So don't start labeling yourself quite yet. Allow your mind and body a little more time to grow and mature; and it will all come to you.
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