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If she is unhappy with her current boyfriend as said, why are they still together whereas she flirts with me?

Tagged as: Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 January 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 January 2008)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

well I met this chic through my cousin. I knew she had a boyfriend, and wasn't trying to holla. we started texting just friendly at first. after about a month we started texting all day and night. the conversation changed over into flirting and eventually we started sharing our feelings with each other. well she just recently visited her boyfriend , but she continued to text me the whole time she was there. im confused if she says that she is unhappy with him, then why aren't we together.

View related questions: cousin, flirt, text

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A male reader, anon_e_mouse United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2008):

anon_e_mouse agony auntI do agree with the other replies here. I think there could be a number of reasons...

1) NEEDS/NEED FOR EXCITEMENT

Perhaps you're fulfilling a need her boyfriend isn't? It could well be they've been together a while and their relationship has reached that safe, secure and stable stage and she wants some excitement. By flirting with you she's getting it.

2) HARMLESS FLIRTING/BIT OF FUN

However, just because she's flirting with you doesn't necessarily mean she actually wants to be with you. She might well be just going through a rough patch and perhaps wants to feel wanted to boost her own ego/self-esteem. SHE MIGHT JUST SEE IT AS HARMLESS FLIRTING AND A BIT OF FUN.

3) WANTS TO LEAVE BUT CAN'T BRING HERSELF TO DO IT

It's difficult to tell whether she'll risk leaving that relationship for another. If she's REALLY unhappy with the way things are going she should try and resolve whatever issues she has with her boyfriend, if she's already tried this and is "at the end of her teather" then she should leave him.

"she just recently visited her boyfriend , but she continued to text me the whole time she was there"

If this is the case, then I have to say I feel sorry for the boyfriend since he's likely aware something's up. You can tell when something isn't right.

Perhaps she really does intend to leave him but hasn't got the heart to tell him. So by acting in this manner she's hoping he'll work it out and end it for her?

4) WAITING FOR SOMEONE BETTER

However, some people line up their next move before leaving a relationship. I think the problem with this is, sometimes that new relationship fails (as it wasn't what she thought it would be) and she could well end up wanting to go back to wanting the saftey, stability and security of the relationship with her current boyfriend. This isn't ALWAYS the case, merely a possibility.

WHAT I THINK YOU SHOULD DO

I think rather than sending flirty texts and asking yourself all these questions you should talk to her and ask her why she's flirting with you. Is she just playing games? Is she really interested in you? Does she want to get out of this relationship she's in? Or is this simply a bit of fun?

YOU COULD GO ROUND AND ROUND IN CIRCLES ALL DAY WITH REASONS WHY SHE MIGHT BE DOING THIS. ASK HER.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (16 January 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntHer b/f could not satisfy her romantically and you are the right tonic for her.It would not be easy to break out from that relationship.

You could be a passenger on this cruise or you could get caught in the Bermuda triangle.

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A female reader, always.you United States +, writes (16 January 2008):

always.you agony auntbecause some girls when they have been with a guy for a long time they have a comfort zone with that person and it takes a while to get out of that comfort zone because there afraid if they do it might be a mistake (not implying that leaving him is a mistake)

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