A
male
age
30-35,
*bwent
writes:My sex life has been on the decline for the past six months. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for approximately three years, and haven't had anything like this come up. Sure, we fight every so often but we are good at communicating with each other and we work well together. She has basically cut me off. We have sex maybe once a month if i'm lucky. Even then, I feel so much pressure to perform well, that it is barely even enjoyable for me anymore. I'm very loving and caring, and I make sure she knows how much she means to me. I'm affectionate towards her and I'm always there for her when she needs somebody to talk to. I've given her time. I haven't been pressuring her and i've been trying to help her through this slump. Get things going again when she is ready to. In the end though, all its done is left me frustrated (extremely frustrated), on edge all the time, and feeling worthless. Oh, and the problem hasn't gone away. Any suggestions?
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (15 July 2010):
 Mirroring everyone else's thoughts, a real conversation is what it will take. When you have sex, who initiates it? My guess is that it's you. I was in a similar relationship. Things started great, but after a couple years, I'd be lucky to have sex every couple of months. Also, she NEVER initiated it. It made me feel worthless and unwanted. You need to let her know how the lack of sexual contact is making you feel. Sex should be a fun and exciting encounter that brings you closer together. It sounds like the opposite is happening here.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 July 2010):
Yep. Sit down with her and pretty much tell her the stuff you've just said. Tell her that you've noticed there has been a decline, and ask her if something is wrong. There must be a reason for it. And at your age, realistically you can't be expected to be celibate (not that you should at any age, I might add). She needs to open up to you about this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): Get out dude. youre both young find your real partner.
If the well is drying up now, you had better look up the meaning of Cellabate 'cause you will be in time if you guys stay together.
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