| A
female
age
41-50,
*ashful
writes: My ex moved in w/ me 5 mos. ago so I could pay for school/living expenses. We don't have sex, but have fooled around twice since then. I know he loves me, but he's almost 20 yrs. older and acts like a kid. If I could change him things would be great, but realistically I can't! When I pay off my school debts, should I find a new apt. for myself?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): Yes, if not before. You can only change yourself. It might be wise to find some friends you can move in with to split living expenses. You are wise to recognize that this man is not what you want. Focus on finding someone that is.
Best of luck.
A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (9 January 2007):
 You have answered all that yourself!
I don't think this guy is going to change, he has everything his own way. As soon as you can I would move out and end the relationship with this guy. I'm sure it will fell like a breath of fresh air when you do!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (9 January 2007):
 I think you answered your own question there: if I could change him, things would be great. The fact is, honey, no matter how much we want to, we cannot change people. They will be who they want to be and we can do nothing about that. They can only change themselves when they see the problems for themselves and not before.
You need to move on . . . and fast. As soon as you can, cut your losses and find yourself again. I know you think you want him but you don't: you want someone else who is like him. You can't love someone if you would change so much about them that they become somebody totally different!
This is obviously going nowhere, he's much older than you and still acting like a child. Get out there and find a real man. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, ingotblue +, writes (9 January 2007):
 yes most deffinately, you cant change any one that doesnt want to and that goes for any kind of situation.
I would get out there as soon as you can afford to so that you both have a chance to move on and regain your lives.
as it is you both will find it very easy to fall in to old ways and it is going to be hard to resist.
You both need to move on to prevent any more heart ache.
good luck xx
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (9 January 2007):
 one thing is you should never try and change a person they are who they are and if you cant except them for who they are then walk away..ive had to many ppl try and change me i am who i am take it or leave it..i would say yes it doesnt sound as if ure happy with the situation ure in, maybe he doesnt want to grow up yet, wish i hadnt lol would love to be in denial lol but its the real world..ide say u would be best going youre own way.. but thats only my opinion hope it helps xxx
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