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If he wants to spend holidays with them, don't expect me to tag along!

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 November 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 8 December 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been dating "josh" for a year now. We get along really well, have a loving relationship, and it is very obvious that we both care about each other very much.

There is one problem, he is friends with a group of people that i don't get along with. Most people in the group are sweet and kind to me, but there are a couple who are downright rude or ignore me. They also interrupt me when i am talking to josh and also try to pull him away from me (and usually do) when we are at parties together. I often feel awkward and stand to the side somewhere and talk to whoever will. The thing is, its two girls mostly and one of them is his ex girlfriend.

I have talked to him about this. How i think this behavior is rude and unacceptable.

These aren't his only friends, in fact these are mostly friends he met through his ex-girlfriend. All of his other friends i think are pretty great, and i love his highschool friends. So that's not the problem.

On Thanksgiving we were invited to a couple dinners and this was one of them. I didn't want to go. It was our anniversary. I wanted to spend the day with him, and there were other dinners that we both wanted to go to.but he was adamant, he needed to go to that dinner.

So i went home. I have been really upset about this. We haven't spent any time together since thanksgiving and i can tell that we both feel very strongly about what we need.

i have told him, i do not mind him hanging out with those people without me, just that i don't want to be around them. If he wants to spend holidays with them, he needs to spend holidays not with me.

What do i do?

View related questions: anniversary, ex girlfriend, his ex

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (8 December 2010):

Abella agony aunti think he should stand up for you more than he is.

That anniversary dinner was more important to your shared relationship than meeting up with the ex's crowd. His ex sounds a very miserable bitchy girl. Consider an assertiveness training session or two as i think standing up for yourself in an assertive manner would help too.

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