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If he has a gf, why he wants me to be his side-chick?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 August 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2015)
A female United States age 36-40, *eezy41 writes:

This guy i was dating almost 3 months, told me he got back with his ex but he does not want me to move on. He told me their situation wont last anyway. He also deleted me on facebook to move on.

I am trying to forget him and i can not. Why he wants me to be side chick if he has a gf?

View related questions: facebook, his ex, move on

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A female reader, deezy41 United States +, writes (13 August 2015):

deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i made the worst mistake ever by taking him back after he broke with his gf. after we hang out for a week and thank god i did not sleep during that week, he went back to his ex gf.

you guys were so right. i blocked him and even cursed at him. it is time to move on

[Mod note: answer edited so it is not all in CAPS. Please do not use ALL CAPS when posting, it is considered shouting. :) Thank you for your followup.]

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A female reader, deezy41 United States +, writes (9 August 2015):

deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi guys, here is updated information. I am just lost... he send a message on fb that he wants to talk to me and i said go ahead. So we were on the phone almost an hour and he told me he is not with his girl anymore.He explained to me that his gf opened an account to him under her name with intrest. They both had paid their own debt. After this girl found out our pics on his phone, he had flopped out and told me that she will pay her debt once

And after she paid her own debt, she cancelled the account. Thats what he told me. He wanted to see me on monday and i said yes. Then he explained that he couldnt forget me and that he slept for his girl.. but he is not planning to go back to her cause she is a brat and that i couldnt give him enough attention at that time. Thats why he deleted on fb. I was like you gotta be honest with me. Then he told me they were never together but 2 weeks ago, she found out our pics and since that time she was bitching about me. So she didnt want her to do

So he didnt want her to text me and plus he said we werent talking. I am like i do not believe you but its ok. Cause i like him a lot. so i was so drunk and had to go to his house but we didnt have sex.. since that time he was keep texting me and calling me... yesterday, his words kinda pushed me away saying that he doesnt have bread like this time. I was like i never asked him to pay mine plus i was also paying the bill too. Today, we were supposed to meet up but my family came from different country and i even said yes to him. Then he cancelled on me. Saying he might not be home by 11:30 and that he is with his dad...

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (3 August 2015):

Ciar agony auntYou gave him more than enough attention. So much, in fact, that he expects you to stick around while he pays attention to someone else.

He's not a decent man. You know this, so how you're treated from now on will depend on you and the choices you make.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (2 August 2015):

Garbo agony auntHe wants you on the side so he can keep enjoying the sex with you while he commits to his ex whom he really wants. In this situation, you are nothing but a sex relief for him and he will never leave his GF for you.

I am not sure what your objective is with this guy but there are two. First is that if you are hoping that you will ever be his GF, you never will be. The second objective might be you just having lot of meaningless sex with this guy but never be his GF in which case you found a right man. I know that what I'm saying is bleak but, regrettably, that's what it is.

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A female reader, deezy41 United States +, writes (1 August 2015):

deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Wow, that was such a good answer. No1 likes to have pair of shoes.. how am i going to move on? Maybe i should start not stalking his gf's instgram.

What makes me upset is, she is not even good looking and this guy told me before he chose her because of her personality then she started to nag and becoming a bitch. That's why he broke up. I feel like because of i didnt give him enough attention, he went back to her

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (1 August 2015):

Ciar agony auntDo you have only one pair of shoes? One shirt? One set of house keys?

He wants security and some variety. When things aren't going well with one, he has another to fall back on.

Do yourself a favour and just send the guy packing. He isn't dumping his former ex now back on again girlfriend any time soon.

Move on.

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