A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:What do you guys think when in a relationship, the woman is more educationally advanced than the man, and they are different races? Do you think it will create problems once they are married? Her family do not like the fact that he has not gone to college, but he is thinking of pursuing that once he is married. Do you think this marriage could work? Can love really conquer everything?Any advice would help. thanks! Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): I think the education part if more important than the race. You are really saying you are better educated. Take it from me--I know a number of women who married men who lacked education, and later on, once the bloom is off the rose, it sinks in. They start to resent his "lack of education" and equate it to "lack of drive", etc--laziness basically.
Is this fair or right. Can't say, but eventually they resent their husbands, and divorce is the usual result.
Just seen it happen too many times. In my opinion, always, always, try to pick a partner with the same educational background as yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): Real love can conquer anything. But as much as I wish I could say it wouldn't effect your relationship, the chances are it probably could. The world is so material these days, so much so that these things matter. If the woman earns more, the man often feels rejected, not manly enough and as though his wage/education doesn't really contribute. Yet, if you love each other enough, you won't even question things like this. He should be pleased to hear you're doing well, not jealous. And as for races, it depends on your personality and views.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): You need more then love in this world. With society pulling every which way, good communication that keeps you connected is critical.
For education. It shouldn't matter as long as one doesn't use it against the other.
There is still a stigma in society about interracial relationships, other then this, were all human.
For college. If he thinks getting married then going to college is going to work, I doubt it. It places to much pressure and responsibility onto the other to pay bills and other things. Better to get the education prior to mariage I think.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  + ♥, writes (1 April 2008):
 The "different races" part is easiest. Yes, a relationship between a man and a woman of different races can succeed. Where I live, we are all of mixed blood. Even those who look white, or black, or Indian, are really mixtures. So interracial marriages are the rule rather than the exception. I think these marriages are now much more common in the United States than they used to be, and I'm sure that many of those marriages are successful. Of course, relationships between people of different races can also fail, but I'm not sure the color of the skin is a factor.
I'm not sure what the girl (maybe you?) means by "more educationally advanced". I will take that to mean "more schooling". As in a girl with a college degree and a man without one.
I'm sorry, but love doesn't conquer all. We wish it did, but it doesn't. Maybe this difference in schooling can produce a stress. A difference in schooling can sometimes translate into a difference in earning power, tastes, life, and THAT is what might produce problems. If any of the parties stays where he or she was, and the other advances a lot, then the one who has had more schooling begins to feel a little uncomfortable. I'm sorry, but I have seen this happen. As in the case of a friend without a degree, who married a girl who didn't have a degree when they married. Over time she got her B.S. and a master's, and he stayed where he was. That created stress that ended in divorce.
I assume you're talking about a young man. If he's, say, 22, then he could begin his studies and overcome this problem. I would think that this would be the right time for that. Also, the couple shouldn't have children while he is studying.
However, if the girl in question and the man in question want to give it a try, their current differences should not matter. Love doesn't conquer all but it does help to break down barriers. If you're the girl in question, don't give up just now.
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A
female
reader, Sk8er Boi's Luver +, writes (1 April 2008):
I dont have alot to say but if u love them nothin else should matter!!!!!!!!!!!!!:~)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): What should it matter how educated he is? Is he a reasonably intelligent man, no more or less than anyone else?
The only reason this marriage won't work out is if either of you doesn't want it to. If he wants to wait until securely in a marriage before he furthers his exploits, so what? He probably just wants to get his love life in order before he decides on a career path.
Not everyone knows who or what they want to be by 18 or even 25.
I only re-discovered my passion and love of performing in the Theatre (mostly musicals) and my desire to persue it as a career a few years ago... I was 22-23. I am now going on 25 and haven't looked back and am doing quite well around the amateur circuit and soon enough will make the leap to professional. I am happier than I have ever been career-wise.
It just takes longer for some people to discover their purpose in life. Mine is to entertain with my voice.
His... well, only he can decide that. But to think of breaking up with him over this is probably not the wisest of ideas. Just be there when/if he needs you and help him out if you can.
Flynn 24
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