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If a guy is happy with his Gf then why does he act uncomfortable and angry towards his ex-crush?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Crushes, Dating, Friends, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 May 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 12 May 2017)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

This guy, his girlfriend, and the girl he use to has a crush on, work at the same place.

The "ex crush" is still friends with the guy's girlfriend and he doesn't reallly care for them to still be friends.

He use to profess his love to the "ex crush" in front of everyone, including his now girlfriend.

That girlfriend had acknowledge out loud that she knew he loved her (the ex crush), at the time he use to say it.

The "ex crush" and the guy never seem serious.

He didn't really ask her out, she never really seemed to have taken him seriously.

It was hard to tell if he was serious. But he told her "I love you" everytime he saw her at work. Kept calling her name. Everyone notice.

Then suddenly one day, he announced that he and the friend of his "ex crush" were offically a couple. One night at work, he was overheard asking his "ex crush" to go into the back of the kitchen with him.

She never went.

He may have been joking. Its hard to tell.

For a while up to now, they act weird around the "ex crush"as if they cheated on her.

But there was no relationship.

Most of the uncomfortable behavior is coming from him. He treats the "ex crush" like she is the plague.

Gets uncomfortable around her, acts irritable, runs the opposite direction if he sees her, criticize her if she does something wrong (work related) and uses his hand to block his view of her if she walks near by.

He doesn't like that his girlfriend and his "ex crush" still gets along.

She doesn't seem bothered by them.

He seems very happy and acts like a better person with his girlfriend. But changes when his "ex crush"is around. He used to talk about her not wanting his love, etc.

View related questions: at work, crush, his ex

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A male reader, rasblak Singapore +, writes (12 May 2017):

It sounds like the person most likely to need an answer to... lingering questions would be the 'ex-crush'.

Quite simply put, "Why" the guy is behaving the way he is, that's not nearly as relevant to the 'ex-crush' as "What do I do about it?"

That ought to be easy: someone is suddenly acting weird towards me; Nature does not even require that there is a specific reason behind it.

What I do? I get on to more productive things that amount to making good use of my limited time on this Earth and whenever they're ready to come around and behave like adults again... well, fine by me.

What else is there to it?... Hoping that his behaviour means he's trying to get her attention, his way of letting her know that he's actually still in love with her?

Whichever way, true or not, that's just not interesting... is it?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2017):

Yes I think he is still in love with his ex crush and the love is not reciprocated so all that pent up anger.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 May 2017):

Honeypie agony auntHis actions are not that one someone in love, I'd wager.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Maybe he is still in love?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 May 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI have to ask OP - who are you in all this?

Are you any of the 3 people - the BF/GF or the ex-crush?

If not, none of your business. That is THEIR little drama. Ignore it.

If you are the GF, MAYBE tone down the "friendship" with the ex-crush as it's not sitting well with the BF. He got his EGO hurt by that girl and he doesn't like that fact. Doesn't mean he doesn't care as deeply for the GF, just means that HE hold grudges and is a tad... immature? Actually, he seems a little bit like a dick. I mean how old is he? Using his hand to block the view of her? WTF?

IF you are the ex-crush tone down the socializing with the TWO of them (the gf/bf) and get on with life. DON'T get into any more drama that there already is over something so FREAKING pointless. He is a guy who USED to have a crush on someone and it didn't pan out - BIG deal... The guy in all this seems to NOT understand that HAVING a crush on someone doesn't mean that the person he was CRUSHING on felt the same - obviously she didn't. So he is butt hurt that a girl rejected him. He likes to bring it up because he is still sore from the rejection even if he DID move on with a new GF. His EGO took a hit.

No matter what, TAKE the high road - FOCUS on work when at work, BE professional and ignore the guy's antics. At some point, he will HOPEFULLY realize that he is acting like a prat.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2017):

I think his ex-crush threatened to tell his girlfriend if he didn't behave himself. If he was openly making passes at her at the workplace; that constitutes sexual-harassment. She may have reported him.

He may have received a warning from his girlfriend, the boss, and Human Resources. Asking her to go to the kitchen may have been the last straw.

I wonder why you're so interested in this fellow and his ex-crush?

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