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If a college girl spends nights nude in bed with her boyfriend, and gives him handjobs, but no sex, would she be thought of as a slut?

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Question - (5 October 2008) 11 Answers - (Newest, 8 October 2008)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

If a college girl spends nights nude in bed with her boyfriend, and gives him handjobs, but no sex, would she be thought of as a slut?

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A female reader, tayalouise United Kingdom +, writes (8 October 2008):

tayalouise agony auntNo! Its up to her what she does and how she does it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008):

I should hope not! If she were to be putting it about with different partners, yes. But two people in a loving relationship, what's the problem?

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A female reader, anon642 United Kingdom +, writes (5 October 2008):

anon642 agony auntWhy should anyone else know what this girl and her boyfriend get up to in their private time.

Its their relationship, just them 2, nobody else needs to know.

However, if someone did say to me, that their girlfriend spent the night nude in their bed and gave them a handjob, i would think nothing of it.

Why should i judge them because she gave him a handjob?

Why should i judge them if they did have sex?

They are in a relationship together, its up to them what they do!

Basically..theres no need for anyone to know what these people are doing.

There's also no need for other people to start passing judgement and calling this girl a slut for getting intimate with her own boyfriend.

Simple. The answer is no.

She is not a slut.

All the best.

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A female reader, baby_emma United Kingdom +, writes (5 October 2008):

baby_emma agony auntwould she be called a slut? by my terms, no way! if this guy is her boyfriend, why should she be called a slut for doing sexual things with her own partner? I think maybe if it was just some random guy, and the girl made a habit of doing it, then maybe some would view her as a promiscuous kind of girl.

But as long as you're safe and happy and not hurting anyone, go ahead and do what you like. x

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (5 October 2008):

eddie agony auntWhy do you ask this question?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008):

The definition of a slut is a derogatory term for a promiscuous person. By the way, that is person, not just woman. It also includes men. So what you are really asking is if she would be considered promiscuous. In my opinion, the answer is certainly not. She wouldn’t be whether she is having sex or not with a single boyfriend. A promiscuous person is normally considered one who has sex with multiple people and uses little discretion who they have sex with.

While Fade and Jamer are correct that a person has every right to act in a way that they see fit for themselves, it is also correct that others have every right to decide in their own minds if they believe that type of behavior is appropriate behavior. In other words, any man or women has every right to decide if they what to sleep with 100 different people, but a future partner also has the same right to decide if that behavior makes them desirable as a partner. We all have a right to think as we see fit about ourselves and about others. We must all learn to live with the possible consequences of past decisions and actions.

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A female reader, shandygirl United States +, writes (5 October 2008):

shandygirl agony auntIf a guy spends nights nude in bed with his girlfriend, and lets her give him handjobs or more.... is HE a slut?

If a guy has dates more than one person... is he a slut?

I am not trying to be mean, but come on! Respect other people the way you, yourself, want to be respected. If you want to be judgemental, be so with someone who DESERVES it. Like murderers, rapist, child molesters. Having bad judgment towards your girlfriend, just because she is intimate with you.... is wrong!

Take care xxx

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A female reader, SugarCookie United States +, writes (5 October 2008):

A slut is someone who has sex with multiple people. She is only with her boyfriend who i am sure she loves!! She is not a slut!

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A female reader, Cherriepie United States +, writes (5 October 2008):

Cherriepie agony auntOf course she is not a slut, but she sounds more like church girl. In college and afraid to have all out sex with your boyfriend? What's the hold up here? Is she afraid of sex?... That's my real question.

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A female reader, bubblygirl Canada +, writes (5 October 2008):

No, its her boyfriend, not a multitude of guys and if its not sex, like you claim, i would not say she's a slut, no

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (5 October 2008):

Jamer70 agony auntwhatever she does with her boyfriend is her business. not anyone elses

So no

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