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I'd never been kissed and I'm shy. Why has this random kiss, my first ever kiss, so unsettled me?

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 January 2013)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Well, i was hanging out with my cousins and her friends over the holiday.

Since i was in town that year.

And beside me there were 3 girls and 2 guys. Well we were drinking somewhat and just having a good time. Well we got kind of bored so we decided to start play a lot of games and a few drinking games.

After a while we decided to play truth or dare. Well I’m kind of a coward at this game so I chose truth the whole time.

Well the thing is, I had to go to bathroom while we were playing the game. And while I was in there my cousin dared one of the boys to grab me and kiss me.

Well he was bi so he had no problem with it. However, I am straight and never kissed any body before mainly because I am to shy to make first move.

So when I walked out the bath room he forcefully pulled me up against his chest and just started making out with me.

However with me being a little drunk and slow like I'm normally am .

It took my mind a while to actually register what was happening. So after the kiss I just played it off and acted it was like no big deal.

But the next few days I haven’t been able to get the kiss out of my head because I kind of liked it and it scares me.

I am not sure if I liked it because it was my first kiss or I liked it because he was just so forceful about it.

or that I could actually be bi or gay.

I mean I grew up in a very religious family even though I am not religious. but it still has some affect on me. And I guess I am scared the fact of being bi or gay.

I have like anxiety attacks when I think about it because it makes me so nervous. I am just so unsure and confused about it and don’t know what to do.

View related questions: cousin, drunk, shy

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2013):

just because you enjoyed kissing someone doesn't mean you're gay (why put a label on everything?), maybe because it was a new experience for you you're kind of overthinking it, just because I kissed a girl that doesn't mean I'm bi, or gay or bi-curious, at least not to me, because I don't feel attracted to women. Look the first time I kissed someone I freaked out about that for like a week, the guy was my best friend's ex, and her cousin to boot so I was terrified that people in school would find out, they never did though, but still I remember I thought about it for like a week anyway, but don't get too anxious about it!

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (5 January 2013):

Are you attracted to women? Then you're not gay.

If you enjoyed kissing a guy you are at least "bi-curious". That's more common than you would think.

No need to come out or think too much about it at this point. Do what feels natural but keep it to yourself until you discover more about what you like.

If you live in an area where being gay/bi is more tolerable congrats. If not you should know that those places are out there where you can feel comfortable with yourself.

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