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I'd like to date this girl but I think she's really confused

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Question - (22 July 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 22 July 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i like a girl, a lot. and i know she likes me atleast a little bit. we used to just be friends but recently realized theres a chance we could be more. the main problem is that she got out of a long relationship not too long ago and she seems genuinely confused. she doesnt really know how to start a new relationship, and she isnt sure if she really likes me or she just likes the attention from me. this has left me in a weird position because obviously i want to impress her and do things to stand out and get her attention so we can move closer to being in a relationship, but i dont want to push her. i dont want her to just date me for the attention or date me wen she isnt completely ready. so i have no idea wat to do. wen i try to talk to her about it she doesnt say too much, this leads me to believe that either she doesnt really like me, or she is so confused she doesnt even know wat to say. and theres also the possibility that, even though she said she was confused and not ready, she is just playing hard to get and really wants me to put myself out on a limb and go after her, i dont know. and before, wen we used to hang out i used to only see her as a friend so i didnt get too terrible nervous around her and we had fun together, always in big groups of people tho. but now that i see her as more than a friend and i dont know how to act around her. i get nervous, freeze up, im not my normal, funny, happy self. and i feel like since she is already probly confused about whether she likes me or not, the fact that im not impressing her or being myself probably isnt exactly helping my situation. i feel like i am totally blowing it. but i really want and care about this girl. i would have given up a while ago if i didnt think she was worth it

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A female reader, johannabanana United States +, writes (22 July 2010):

johannabanana agony auntYou are right about the situation. She simply isn't ready... The fact is she isn't going to be ready for quite a long time. If she was in a relationship for a long time that just ended she obviously has no interest in starting a new one any time soon. She just wants her space and to be alone to figure things out... And what she is feeling right now is pressure from you. What you need to do it just go back to being friends with her.. You don't want to be her rebound if she isn't ready and says yes to you.

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