A
female
age
30-35,
*arfo
writes:So in July I met this great girl online. She lives in the next town. She randomly messaged me one day and we clicked. We got to know each other, She kept pushing to see me, so we did, I had a really great time we went somewhere where it was just us and talked for hours and flirted a little bit, she walked me to the train, offered to pay, watched it pull away etc. Saw her again a couple weeks after, her friends had decided to tag along at the last minute so i was a bit shy, but still had a good time, she gave me her coat when it got cold, asked her friend to swap places so she could be by me, etc. all that kinda thing. But then we were talking one night, and she asked me how I felt about long term relationships, and how long my longest was, well in terms of relationships, she intimidates me, she said she'd had sex in my city's cathedral ffs. plus her ex's, all the girls she's dated, and we kept bumping into girls she knew who made my gaydar scream and her friends were like "oh was she one you met on ....." they didn't say the last word cuz they realised i was standing right there. So anyway, then there's me, I may have valid excuses like I spent 7 years at a homophobic girls school, but I've never been in a relationship. I've loved, lost, the passion I've experienced has been random and reckless because regretting the things you did has always been easier than regretting what you didn't. So it was no lie when I told her I don't do relationships, because I have experienced so much failiure in that dpeartment within me, my friends, my entire family who are all either divorced or happily widowed. and random romance leaves only a bitter aftertaste, not a scar.That was 4 weeks ago, she has not spoken to me since. She has not called, texted, facebooked me, she hasn't been on msn, or she's blocked me. I'm worried it was a personal question, and I gave a general answer. perhaps she thinks that was a rejection, when it wasn't. Generally I don't do relationships, but she is one of my life's exceptions. She brightened my life, I was miserable before, and now She's come and gone I feel even worse. She made me laugh, smile, I miss her. I miss the small things, everyday I see or hear at least something that reminds me of her or something she said. I want to text her or something but it seems like she doesn't want to talk to me even though she's the one that started this. Should I try and save this or move on while I still can beore I dig myself any deeper and remind myself why it is that I don't do relationships?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, oliviababes +, writes (23 October 2010):
 aah, lesbian couples, my specialityi agree with the others, and i think it is time to try out a long-term relationship, perhaps you should start thinking about sleeping with her, she sounds great! I'm personally a lesbian and i met this girl called Cheryl, and a similar thing happened, at first i was nervous to say what i mean't but when i eventually did, she understood, and now we're married, of course i don't know if the same thing will happen in your case, but you won't solve anything unless you explain what you really mean't.
A
female
reader, Sentimental +, writes (22 October 2010):
You should definitely get in contact with her. Send her a email letting her know what you meant, and that you didn't mean you didn't want to spend time with her etc. If you both loved spending time together then why not get back into contact? You shouldn't worry about her previous experience with girls, every relationship is a new experience even if it's intimate, or just a pure friendship. Let her know how you feel!!!
Good Luck, hope it goes well!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): OMG! What a touching but painful blast to my past, as your situation is nearly a replica of mine. I am the one you speak of, in my love saga. I wish You were The Only Woman I've Ever Loved. She still has my heart. I am deeply in love with her, and the only thing that's keeping me from falling completely apart is a very special friend who loves me and completely understands how heartbroken I am, as she too is enduring essentially the same struggle. We comfort each other and so we have a truly loving friendship with minimal intimacy (i.e. Handholding, spooning, cuddling, pecks on the cheek or lips..but definitely no fondling, sex, oral, etc..). That's very sacred to me.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 I think you need to clarify what you meant and make it clear that she was the one exception that you felt you could be with. Perhaps that is what she was looking for and your answer led her to believe that there was no future to be found when in reality, you really did want to be with her. So yes, text her and tell her and see where it goes. If you feel that strongly about her, then you have all the reason in the world to give this a chance where she thought there was none. Good Luck.
I hope that helps.
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