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I'd like to be more than friend's ... and am debating whether to send a fb request

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Gay relationships, Social Media<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 April 2019) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2019)
A female Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

So I’m wondering when it’s appropriate to add someone on Facebook. I’ve had a crush on a girl for a while but I haven’t really got the guts to talk to her, we’ve spoken briefly but it’s in her work and I think it’s inappropriate to flirt with someone when they’re forced to talk to you. I have caught her looking at me and she’ll look away and vice versa. She does know that I’m interested, because Ive asked about her, we have some mutual friends and I’d like to be able to get to know her and talk, but I don’t want to be creepy, I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.

So should I give her an add or just suck it up and move on.

View related questions: crush, facebook, flirt, move on

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (13 April 2019):

I think you should clearly determine if she likes you the same way you like her.

I don't think someone looking at you means anything. If I feel someone staring at me, my first reflex is to stare back. I don't intimidate easily; but stares annoy me. and sometimes make me feel uneasy. It's a normal human-response. You may not be aware how you're staring, but she is! She's staring at you staring at her! Wondering why?

Adding people to Facebook you've met in-person without asking them first is very creepy. It's like stalking when you have a crush you won't acknowledge. Offering a friend-request on social media means you're just interested in being friends or contacts. If you're looking to be more than friends; that requires you to get the courage to take a risk. Not silently stalk them on social media and stare when you see them in-person. You're not doing anything wrong, it's just the principle. Don't hide your true motives!

Chat and take a chance. She may not be gay, and you didn't mention this to be a known fact.

Social media is impersonal and somewhat cowardly when you really like someone romantically. It's intruding on their privacy without giving them your true motives for wanting to know them better or invading their space. If they aren't gay and you have gay-interest in them; then it is stalking.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (13 April 2019):

kenny agony auntI would refrain from adding her on social media just yet until you have got to know her a bit better.

Getting to know someone is gradual process, talk to her and be friendly and find out abit more about her each time. After a while you will know if she is into you or not. At this point maybe just casualy ask her if she wants to grab a coffee sometime.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 April 2019):

Honeypie agony auntI think instead of adding her on Facebook, GIVE her your number and tell her to call you if she is interested in meeting for a cup of coffee.

If she doesn't call... then you know SHE isn't interested and there will be no awkward social media "having to block" or "BE blocked".

If SHE is interested, she will probably call you.

Either way, I think that is a "classier" approach than contacting people on social media that you DON'T really know. Call me old-fashioned.

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