A
female
age
18-21,
-gemma-1990-
writes:yep, me again!this time, its about my boyfriend again, but his mental problems:something could happen to him like he loses his wallet, or he loses his lighter, or cigarettes, his lighter runs out of gas, then he gets really pissed off, and if were talking at the time, i get the end of the stick with the sh*t on, so to speak, like if he loses his wallet hell say to me "ok, wheres my wallet?" he just assumes that i had it last and therefore have put it somewhere. i tell him "i dont know!" then hell say either "alright alright no need to bite my head off!" or "bullsh*t!"it hardly happens but it happens often enough for me to notice that its different from when we first met, and when it doesnt happen hes the best boyfriend i could ask for!so id appreciate answers on being able to sort it out rather than answers tellin me to leave him(unless this relationship can't be helped!) also, thats the only way thats hes abusive to me, hes doesnt do any physical stuff, only verbally
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female
reader, SugarCookie  +, writes (7 June 2008):
Sorry girl but that is where it starts. My boyfriend was the best thing ever created and then he started to get stressed and would either ignore me or scream at me. When I moved in with him he started pinning me to the bed to yell at me and then he would push me. Then he slapped me across the face (which to him wasn't bad because he didn't punch me which would have been much worse according to him) he also picked me up by my throat and slammed me into the wall with my feet off the ground and it all started with vebal abuse for a year before it got worse. It is a bad warning sign! The longer you wait and the longer you are with him the hard it is to leave. I'm still with that bad guy because i dont know what else to do and at least he hasn't hit me since november! Get out while you still feel you can!
A
female
reader, lexilou + ♥, writes (7 June 2008):
 I agree tell him when he's calm how offensive, hurtful and irrational his behaviour is at times. He obviously just gets really frustrated.
Why not suggest he has a routine where he puts the items he loses a lot in the same place as soon as he enters the house and returns them there after he has used them at home x
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A
male
reader, Dr Pete + ♥, writes (7 June 2008):
 When he is calm you need to sit him down and to explain to him exactly what he is doing wrong.
Tell him, kindly and without any anger yourself, that you do not want to be spoken like that again and if he continues to do it, you will begin to see him differently.
Remind him that he is the best boyfriend you have ever had, and you don't want him to ruin that.
Then see how it goes, hopefully he will learn from his mistakes and remember to think before lashing out! If I were you I would only be concerned if, after you have had this talk, it carries on, or gets worse.
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