A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I get worried quite a lot and I don't know how to deal with it or how to focus on something else . At the moment I get silly unnecessary worries that if someone doesn't reply to a text I think they don't like me , don't want to talk to me anymore and when I'm waiting for a reply I feel a bit sick and just so upset and worried and cant focus on doing the things I want to do especially If I haven't had a reply . There can be all sorts of reasons why someone may not have replied to a text and I try to think of this but I just always feel upset if someone takes ages to reply .I also say to myself if they haven't replied within an hour I will send a another text or ring and this is a habit I need to get out of because its becoming an unhealthy routine and I don't know when is best to send another message if someone hasn't replied yet . I know why I'm like this its because it think people really don't like me and I are just going to stop talking to me without telling me so I need constant reassurance . when I do eventually get a reply all of my worries seem to go away and its so nice I just need so advice
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 March 2018):
 It sounds like you have extremely low self confidence. You need to learn to love yourself and believe that you can and do make a difference to other people's lives.
Okay so if someone doesn't reply back to a message, the best thing to do is not to message again. If an answer is needed don't message just call instead. Some people are really bad at writing back to messages, or they read it and forget to reply. You need to stop waiting around for people to message back. Spend more time with actual friends and family and not over the phone.
If you need constant reassurance and you message people again when no reply people will feel you are suffocating them and being clingy. This makes people pull away more instead of being friendlier. Have you a member of your family you can talk to about this?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2018): Hi,
It's very common to worry about friendships, I know I do it a lot as well if I haven't heard from someone in a while.
Do you worry about other things as well? It may be a sign that you have anxiety, have you thought about going to your GP?
There's lots of information online about anxiety and things you can do yourself if you don't want to go to the GP (although I would recommend going to your GP, I was diagnosed with anxiety and have since been put on medication which has really helped).
Mindfullness is also very useful for helping you relax when you are worrying, there's lots of apps you can download.
Hope this helps. Just remember that it's not your fault they aren't replying and it definitely doesn't mean they don't like you! People lead busy lives!
Take care,
Abi
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