A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I met a girl last week and we hit it off really well and she gave me her number she seemed really into me. I sent her a few messages over the week we shared same interests. These were short emails replies after 3 days so I felt maybe the interest wasn't that strong from her side. Yesterday I was feeling a bit low about it so I sent her and message and said it was nice meeting you and that thanks for the time we spent. She replied straight back saying that she was busy as her position had changed at work and was wrapped in that. She also said that she was rubbish at getting back to people generally. She is also off on holiday for a few days over the weekend and said that she will try to reply to my last message very soon if she has coverage. I replied and said it was ok and that I had just felt something when we met. She read the message but didn't reply. Do you think she is interested or just brushing me off?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2015): My friend, you should have "called" first, and tried to make a date!
You may have missed the window of opportunity. She said she is not into getting back to "messages" straightaway. I would read that as, "well you had a chance and you blew it!"
If you want to show someone you're interested, you call out of courtesy; and you try to setup a date as soon as reasonably feasible. Messages are too impersonal. She was hoping you would pickup on that fact. Her underlying message was: "if you can't reach me by message, you have my phone number cowboy!"
Once again I'll repeat myself. "You cannot initiate or
conduct a romance by messaging!!!" You're all grown-up now.
You've been over-trained by ladies who like messaging all damned day. You didn't seize the opportunity to pursue a date to show how interested you are. Over-eager is when you nervously or repeatedly follow-up on messages, or send a blitz of messages begging for attention.
It's cool to [call] a lady the next day (from when she gave you her number), and ask if she'd like to go out. That's a sign you're interested; it doesn't mean you're too eager. Should she make a load of excuses after your initial call; you don't contact her anymore, until she gets back to you.
She gets the benefit of the doubt in this case; before I'd say she was just disinterested or playing you along.
Is it too late? Perhaps. Now you're left chasing the bunny.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2015): You made a mistake by wasting time sending emails and texts. You should have called and set up a meet immediately and that would have been the best way to assess if she wants to go further or not. As is, she is giving you bunch of bull so at this point your option is to hope that she calls. Given that, you need to assume she is brushing you off. So don't lay hopes on this one. If she calls good and if not then you start planning... And remember, you get a number, you call, not send emails or texts.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust wanted to add that I never asked for her number. I just find it strange that someone didn't want me to leave without getting their number/email etc.. why would someone go to those lengths? This is why I got confused with her statement about being bad at getting back to people. She has responded to all messages but took a few days. Perhaps I was just being a bit too eager. She has left the country for a short holiday for Easter I'm also going to visit friends. I hope we pick up again after the holiday. I really do appreciate your help. If you have any more advice I'd be happy to listen.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (2 April 2015):
 Sounds like she is brushing you off, I'm afraid. I'm sure she thought you were a nice and lovely guy when you met her, as she did give you her number. However, it seems she is not interested enough to maintain contact. If she was interested, she would take the time to respond, just the same as you are taking the time to write her. I would leave it at this and let it go. If she messages you and starts to show an interest, great. But I wouldn't bank on it. There are other fish in the sea. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 April 2015):
 She isn't interested. She spend MORE time giving you all the excuses she could make up for WHY she hasn't been in contact, rather then saying things have been hectic but I'd still love to chat and get to know you.
Personally, I'd LEAVE it at this.. The ball is in her court, but I would not wait around for her to "pick" it up.
Though IF she gave you her number WHY did you e-mail?
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A
male
reader, mfj78  +, writes (2 April 2015):
Hi speaking from experience of being brushed off many times, I know how you feel: you WANT her claims to be true, but deep down know she is fobbing you off. You also feel frustrated that she is dangling a carrot in front of you when deep inside you know she wont let you get it.
You need to take a big step back and don't contact her again. if she is keen she will contact you, if not you know its over.
Sadly its vary common for both sexes to act keen and excited only to give the other person the brush off later. Its an unneeded complication and not very nice but it is what it is im afraid.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (2 April 2015):
 Yes, she's brushing you off.
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