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I wished him a merry christmas and he never responded!

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Question - (24 December 2008) 12 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

So I wished my ex a "Merry Christmas" and got...

ABSOLUTLY NOTHING...no response whatsoever. WTF?

A little background: we dated for about 3 months, decided we would be better off as friends (ok, actually, I made that decision and told him I'd rather just be friends). He's been pretty cool, we've interacted as platonic friends for 6 months now. We talk sometimes, text occasionally, always keeping things light and topical. Never do we discuss past relationship issues....he knows I have a bf now, and presumably, he has moved on, too.

So...couple of days ago, we're having a text convo and I wish him Happy Holidays. No reply to that. Two days pass, still no reply. Huh?

It's really simple: when someone wishes you happy holidays, you return the salutation. Doesn't matter whether you celebrate Christmas or not, it's just a gesture of goodwill and good MANNERS. Someone took the time out of their day to wish you well. Would it kill you to return those good wishes?

I know he is a Christian, so I don't think my holiday greeting offended him. I don't see how saying "happy holidays" could be offensive to anyone but a total Scrooge...hey, isn't this the season where friends try to be a little nicer to each other?

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but the lack of response really galled me. For a guy who has acted totally ok with our past breakup, and has acted like a friend all year, he is suddenly acting like someone who has some buried hostility issues towards me.

Sheesh, dude, I just wished you happy holidays, that's all. Would it pain you too much to say "happy holidays" back? WTF is your problem?

So...if this were your situation, would you be offended by the lack of response?

Maybe it's just me, but if my worst enemy wished me Happy Holidays, I'd wish them the same. Might even soften my heart a little towards them. If my ex who has been a good friend since the breakup wished me Happy Holidays, I'd wish them the same and MEAN IT. I sure as hell wouldn't just stand there and say nothing!?!

Would someone do this on purpose to hurt your feelings, or do you guys/gals think he's just an inconsiderate dweeb?

View related questions: christian, christmas, my ex, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009):

I sent my ex a greeting too. We ended the relationship on no-talking terms. He emailed me back maybe 5 days later wishing me a happy new years. I guess I emailed him because I wanted to know if he still missed me and therefore there was a possibility we could get back with each other somewhere down the line. I also sent him the email so that he would not forget about me. When he emailed me back, old feelings and the pain he caused me resurfaced. Now I am really confused. I don't think it matters thought if they email back or not. they could have feelings for you still or they could not. Id they email you back it could be because they miss you, because they pity you or because they just want to be polite. And I wouldn't want an ungenuine christmas wish from a guy I love. If they don't email you back, it could be because they are scared, because they they want the upper hand, or because they are just not that into you. The only way to find out is to ask.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008):

What a cruel thing to do.

Its like something from t.v where you beat someone up, tip beer over their head and say 'Merry Christmas'

I'm sure this is not your intention when you sent it, and that was not the intention in your heart.

However this is a clip of what he has experienced.

I think you are best to break contact and learn by your mistake.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008):

I don't think you are toying with him, as one of the other respondents said. Sounds to me like you two have been good friends to each other since deciding not to date anymore, and I can relate to that, as I make a point to stay friends with all of my exes.

Putting myself in your shoes, considering that you two talk often, it would make sense for you to wish him happy holidays. And it would make sense for him to wish you the same. So it does seem strange that he didn't. That would be a red flag for me too. Would make me wonder what's up?

Actually I'd probably get bugged by that whether it had happened with an ex, a same-sex friend, a co-worker, or a total stranger. Some people just don't like Christmas. Or maybe they're having a bad day. But they have no right to punish you for being friendly!!!!

That's just mean-spirited.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2008):

I sent my ex a simple email and a text message to wish him merry christmas, I never got a respond from him. I'm not mad, just felt kind of disappointment of him.

I thought that sending him a Christmas greeting is a classy thing to do, plus it shows I'm so above everything that sending it DOESN"T BOTHER ME....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008):

you got to be seriously kidding,you do know christmas is such a lonely time for loads of people,and im one of those persons who was also dumped talk about rubbing salt in the wound.i miss my man so much that i am scared to wake up tomorrow that feeeling of lonelyness,nobody to share that excitment of christmas day

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A female reader, sappygirl United States +, writes (24 December 2008):

sappygirl agony auntThe truth is he has no obligation to return any message to you. He's your ex. He doesn't even have to keep in touch with you.

I think you are upset because he's moved on and not thinking of you anymore. Maybe he's giving a clear signal that he doesn't want you in his life anymore.

Whatever the case. Move on.

btw. I get mass texts from friends all the time around holidays and it's to time consuming to return everybody's message. I don't mean to offend anybody but it's not of importance to me as it is to the person that send it.

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A female reader, sappygirl United States +, writes (24 December 2008):

sappygirl agony auntThe truth is he has no obligation to return any message to you. He's your ex. He doesn't even have to keep in touch with you.

I think you are upset because he's moved on and not thinking of you anymore. Maybe he's giving a clear signal that he doesn't want you in his life anymore.

Whatever the case. Move on.

btw. I get mass texts from friends all the time around holidays and it's to time consuming to return everybody's message. I don't mean to offend anybody but it's not of importance to me as it is to the person that send it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008):

You broke up with him so why do want him to massage your ego all the time to make you feel good.

You love the fact you have been toying with him like a cat with a mouse.

Maybe he as seen the light.

Funny how it's upset you so much. Losing your hold over him I guess.

Good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008):

jesus maybe he forgot!? and even if he didnt your really overeacting! ok i see your point that you sent him a message the polite thing would be to say happy christmas back but its hardly something you need to be bothering yourself with. And he doesnt have to write back to you all the time your not his girlfriend anymore, friends forget to write back too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008):

i send a guy i was frindly with a ecard chritmas card he never emiled he got either.

blokes there assholes and i hate them

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008):

I would be offended if ANYONE did that, whether an ex, or the clerk at the 7-11. It's just common courtesy. If someone wishes you a happy holiday, it's no sweat to wish them a happy holiday, too!

Sounds like yr ex is a Scrooge. Let me guess...might have somethin' to do with why you broke off the relationship in the first place?

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States + , writes (24 December 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntWould I be offended if someone didn't respond... well, I might be upset, sure. But offended? That says to me that you're taking his lack of response as a personal attack against you.

Maybe he's a slacker when it comes to returning messages (I know I am.)... maybe he read your message and thought, "my, that's sweet of her to send her holiday greetings.", and then went about things and responding back left his 'To Do' list. Maybe he did make a decision not to reply to you and was looking for a reaction. Alright, well if he did that, then he's kind of a pathetic loser. Forget that guy, he's stupid and immature.

All I'm saying is that you're putting way more emotional energy on this guy than he is even close to deserving. Especially when it might have just not crossed his mind to respond (for whatever reason, but certainly not a vindictive one)!

Good luck, sweetness - and of course, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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