A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my husband and are separted he lives in another town about 15 mins from me . he loves music and so do i .all of this was going good until the singer drinks lot and doesnt help out on moving band stuff .any way my husband and i lived with this man and one night at a family bar/resturant he desides to get drunk not a care in the world.we got thrown out in the streets husband got fired from band no wheres to go at 2 in the morning .my husband doesnt have a job says he is looking .he wanted to go back to this band i said no because of his health blood pressure and blood thinners.he left me for the band how can someone do this .married 5 years and 2 years together.we had had alots of up and downs everybody does .so why does he call says he loves me and miss me .why would he do this will he reget it later when its to late.i file my first set of divorce papers havent done 2nd one wishing and praying he will wake up.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2011): he has been on blood pressure meds when we got together he is 36 years old. has hda scence he was younger age but as he got older he stop takeing them said he didnt need them anymore.he was fine when we meet and was ok at times when we got married 5years ago.we gone thru up and downs but made it this far. my hsband only drinks half a beer isnt much a drinker thats what i love about him .and he smokes with blood pressure meds doctor took him to stop but hasnt .cant keep a job only in a 6 months time . i did support his music just not the players in the band one time he got drunk because the singer bought everyone shots and i wasnt happy and i left my husband and he called me back said he love me but didnt go back anyway he got sick and went to hospital thats why now he takes blood thinners didnt before .so this is were iam at now .wont talk to me unless no one eles is around at the singers house or he will be put out in the street .same guy wow.what is your feed back
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (20 August 2011):
 So am I understanding this correctly? Did your husband get drunk? Do you see the other man as a bad influence? Was there more to it than that? The reason he was sacked?Could he also have health issues greater than he is telling you? If he is around your age then that is young to already need blood thinners and have blood pressure issues. Does he have some past issues that have led to such medical needs. If this is so then the pull to be with his music friends must be very strong indeed, if he still wishes to pursure a lifestyle that would have been so much easier in his 20s and early 30s. How much longer can he continue such a demanding schedule?.It sounds frightening to have been made homeless at 2am.What is more important to your man, and what does he revere and respect most? You or his friends and his music?You have already served some papers on him. How much is he willing to address to keep you? He seems to be on a collision course to ruin his chances of health and happiness.If you could possibly encourage him to have an extensive and full medical that might help - whether or not he intends to face reality that he would probably be better off with you, and happierBut sadly everything is telling me that his head and his loyalty is with his music. It is easy for him to tell you that he loves you and misses you. but look at his actions.You have accomodated this guy. Tolerated the uncertainty. Perhaps it is time you confronted him with some very cold hard facts. It seems he still sees himself as an ageing muso who can go on forever. He can't. And I will lay odds that he does not live a healthy lifestyle on the road nor always remember his medication, whatever he claims. I think you do care about him seriously and deeply. But he is not appreciating that. You so DO deserve a loving secure life with a reliable responsible man bringing in a reliable long term income. Tell him he can be that man, if he chooses you.Otherwise you can pursue happiness elsewhere. Sometimes too much patience is not the loving responsible thing it seems. If you put others first too often then you lose too much that should be important to you. Value you and ask that he try to do that too.It would seem that if he stays with the band then he can only offer you a part time partner. when you should be able to look foreard to a guy 24:7If he cannot or will not then move on.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (20 August 2011):
Look at the possibility that because he lost his job he is going to you just to regain some stability in his life.
But that would not really be love, now, would it?
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