I wish I could be more fun but it feels like hell trying to accomodate each other.

A male age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years but I am seeing a lot of problems so I will have to explain everything I detail. At first our relationship was great. We had great sex we talked and it seemed like it was time to live together, we had our differences such as I was more mature, responsible, quite and conservative. I didn't take fancy to going our a lot and I don't make a habit of trying to befriend or talk to everyone. My boyfriend is the opposite of me. We decided to make a little sacrifice to try and please each other. Well over the years it seems to be doing more harm as it feels like hell accommodating each others wants and not wanting to provide. He likes to go out till 2-3 in the morning, by 11 I want to go to bed. I finally realized we don't have any real hobbies in common to do together. I don't like running around socializing with everyone, I actually have a life that involves a job and goals. It seems like he's a child and I am an adult. He rebels me every time I try to make a point. I wish I could do more for him in the fun department but I can't keep making myself miserable nor should he. Next on the list I took care most of his needs as I made more money. Well a year into our relationship I changed jobs due to location and I was getting paid a lot less do to slow business. Now we are just paying our bills but we don't a lot of money left over like we used to. I used to buy him stuff because I don't like a lot of materialistic junk people buy this day. Well now he makes more and I feel like its a struggling battle with financing. He wants to eat out with friends and go to the movies 2-3 times a week. We spend well over 1/3 of our income on stupid trivial junk. Now we never have any money to meet our goals. When the car breaks we don't have enough money. When its time to pay the car he waits a week. We have a joint bank account but I get the feeling like he resents me over not being able to do what he wants. I don't understand because I took care of him for a good while. Next is the sex. Plain and simple he would rather jack off than have sex. He is never in the mood but the minute I walk out the door he jacks off. I feel like he just doesn't want to out the effort into sex anymore and would rather do something different. My man isn't very house friendly. It takes a lot of patience when it comes time for him to do some house work. He would rather sit on the computer all day. We are both the same age and we talk openly about everything but talking is doing nothing for us. I don't feel like he is content about life with me. I feel like he is more angry with life. Our talks don't help us solve our problems it just makes it worse because we realize how much different we are and how less we can accommodate each others wants and needs. He says he is fine but I Know he is lying. I think about calling it quite but I don't have anywhere to go. I put everything I had into this relationship. So what would anyone do in this situation.

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A male reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (10 February 2010):

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