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I went for him, then found out he's been w/ someone else for three years! He still says he loves me, but can't see me b/c of her!! Now I'm VERY confused.

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 June 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 June 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *user writes:

I posted a question here a few weeks ago because of an attraction with a much older man - he is 36 and I am 18. I decided to go for it, but found to my horror that he is with another woman who he has been with openly for three years. I asked him about it as honestly as I could and he says that he is completely in love with me, and that he has NEVER felt this way about anyone before. But then he went on to say that we could never happen because of this other woman... he seemed genuine, he was very upset that he had to stop things with me. I am now VERY confused because he is being so contradictory. Does he love me if he won't give her up?

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (7 June 2007):

O Connor agony auntif this guy says he is completely in love with you then there would be no if ands or buts about it - he would choose you. maybe he is trying to ease the blow by saying this but keeping himself safe by falling back on this other woman. chicken you are still so young and you have so many yrs ahead of you to love and be loved. if this guy doesnt choose you then he is not worth it - be happy and try and get over him it will be hard but you need to so you can move on and be happy with someone who will treat you the way you deserve - hope this helps if you want email me and we can talk further good luck hun xxx

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A female reader, shortybabes United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2007):

shortybabes agony auntYou should try your best to forget about this guy, well if he loved you he would be with you hun. This guy obviously loves the other woman too much to leave her. He isn't worth your time, you will meet someone who will be single and who will love you and will want to be with you.

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A female reader, Ms_Iwal Ireland +, writes (7 June 2007):

From what youve said it sounds like he wont leave this woman because hes settled with her and doesnt want the risk of ending up single again if things dont work out between you and him. He proberly feels his current realtionship is rocky steady and is a long term thing that will not end and doesnt want the risk of ending up on his own. When you think about it really its great to be in love but when your 25 and ready to start a family or if your a late bloomer light most woman now and start your famil at 30 hell be 48 and wont be in the ideal shape to be starting a family at that age. I suggest you move on and find someone who you have more things in common with and who commited to only you.

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A female reader, lisarocksyoursocksoff United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2007):

lisarocksyoursocksoff agony auntyou deserve someone who will always choose you... if he doesn't choose you then i promise you will find someone who will. but if it's obvious he can't be with you, then you need to start mourning the end of this relationship, before you are hurt even more

i hope it all works out for you

take care

xx

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