A
female
age
36-40,
*rokenheartinTX
writes:Hi, I am head over heels in love with my exbf as of 11 february 07 who i had been with for over a yr... around June last year I went to a guy friends house with all my friends and bfs friends and I was drinking and hanging out and having a good time... So i thought.. I had taken a Xanax (from the so called friend, didnt know what they did) and was piling alcohol on top of that... I was trying to get someone to take me home.. and they all said I needed to stay so I laid on the chair and passed out for a few... I asked someone to help me to the couch and they didn't... I then woke up the next morning in my underwear and in bed with this guy i called a friend... I laid in my shower for 5 hours in my clothes crying. i called into work and went and got tested!!! I knew what he did to girls and i thought i would never be one of those girls BC I had a bf... boy was i so wrong.. I didn't tell ANYONE about this and i continued to be his friend BC I knew what he would say bout me if I didn't... Someone found out and tried to Blackmail me into sleeping with them while they lived here and i kicked him out and he told my now ex a ton of lies... I just need to know what do i do I cant eat or sleep or stop crying I need something... I knew if i told him 6 months ago it would have been over anyway and now i lied about it to keep myself from hurting him and I fucked up... I don't know what to do, I try to talk to him about it and it just hurts him more... I just want him to know I never ever wanted anything like that to happen EVER. I love him and care about him! He has been my world for the past year and now my life is in shambles... I keep thinking what if I did sleep with that other guy to keep him quiet... but i know that wasn't ever going to happen I love My ex WAY too much to do that to him!!! GOD I NEED HELP, i am terribly sorry I am a mess right now and i saw some advice you gave to the guys on the site and i was hoping you could help me find an easy way to give up!!! I don't want to give up but it seems I have to... He still talks to me and wants to be my friend... tells me he cares about me and wants me to be happy... I cant be happy knowing i hurt him. He was a wonderful guy.. I put up with a lot of things to be with him, friends being mean to me, him not talking up for me and I just let it slide.. I love him I really do... I messed up! I am taking steps to try and fix what I broke What do I do ???? Thank you for your time Broken in Texas
View related questions:
my ex, underwear Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (4 April 2008):
 How truly horrible. You have my sympathy.
My suggestion would be:
- Tell your ex everything. Absolutely every last detail. Show him what you wrote here even. You have done NOTHING wrong. Hopefully he'll see that.
- The guy who did this to you is a criminal. He needs to be stopped somehow. I don't know how... it will be very hard to prove anything. Maybe you and your ex can come up with a way to do this?
If this was done to my girlfriend, well, I can't write here what I would do to the person that did it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): people get setup. i'm sorry that happened to you!
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (25 February 2007):
 Why didn't your boyfriend go to this party with you? Why did you take the Xanax? Surely you know pills and alcohol don't mix? Why didn't you call your boyfriend to come and collect you or even your parents? You say "I knew what he did to girls and i thought i would never be one of those girls BC I had a bf... boy was i so wrong.." What did this boy do to you exactly?
"I didn't tell ANYONE about this and i continued to be his friend BC I knew what he would say bout me if I didn't..." There was a room full of people there! They would all have know what happened or at least some would have. Then someone tried to blackmail you into sleeping with them WHILE HE LIVED HERE??? What do you mean??? ...you kicked them out and they told your boyfriend a pack of lies??? You should have told your boyfriend immediately after the party what happened, you know that don't you? Instead you kept this from him for 6 months??? Didn't he notice you were acting differently or are you not that close?
You didn't keep this to yourself for 6 months to save him being hurt, you kept it from him because you felt guilty about what happened and you're not telling the whole story here, it doesn't add up! First of all if your boyfriend really cared for you he'd notice immediately that something wasn't right and you, if you really loved him would feel so guilty about this that you would never keep it to yourself, you'd want to make things right as soon as you could. At the end of the day YOU were the victim here so you would have had nothing to worry about. THAT'S why I don't think you're telling me the full story.
Get back to me and answer my questions, tell me the FULL story and we'll see if we can work this out okay?
Eve
...............................
A
female
reader, *a.m.y* +, writes (25 February 2007):
 WOW! I can tell how upset u are. U have my deepest and dearest sympathy. First of all it wasnt U that messed up, it was ur "friends". And second of all I know what its like to keep hurting someone u love so dear. U feel even worse. So im going to give u all ive got.
I think u can go to the police anonymously and explain to them what happened. IF anything did happen it WAS NOT ur fault. I think ur ex is more upset at what happened to u not u personaly. Its more to do with someone else being with u. UV NOT DONE ANYTHING WRONG. Has he explained to u why he dumped u?
Something has to be done about this guy. U have to be the bigger person now. u have nothing to be ashamed about. tell someone who really loves u and u know will help u. How many more girls do u want to go through what u went through? U have done soooo well coming this far, dont give up now. ur ex will come round. If u can, u should tell him EVERYTHING. I know it will be hard and I know uv probably already told him what u can but if u both share ur feelings u might be able to compromise something. if that doesnt go the way u want it just think to urself, would it relly be that bad to be friends with this guy? I love him and he loves me, we can still do things together. I hope ive helped in someway and I REALLY hope everything turns out OK. Id love to hear back from u. x
...............................
|
