A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:One of the hardest things I've done is ending an opposite sex friendship because we were getting closer than platonic admitted to having feelings for each other. There's a reason we can't be together, which I will not go into. We chatted almost daily on the phone, and he became protective of me when any guys treated me unwell. He even said he'd give up a relationship if it came in between our friendship.I tried to end the friendship a few weeks ago when I realized I was falling for him, but he just wouldn't let it happen. He said I mean too much to him as a friend to just walk away. The problem is, I've developed emotional attachment in this friendship, and I was at the point I was becoming jealous of girls he dated.It's been 5 days since it happened and I'm still hurting as though I've ended a relationship. I told him my reasons, and it deeply hurt to withdraw contact but it's for the best. at the moment. When I told him, via text message (we couldn't meet up) he didn't really respond. He eventually replied that he's speechless, and the next day (when I explained a bit more) he said he's disappointed about the way it worked out.I'm hurting about it all and feel at a great loss. I said I don't want to lose our friendship all together, but I have to focus on other priorities (e.g. my study, work). He replied that he doesn't want to lose me as well. I just can't commit to a relationship / such intense friendship right now.I feel so bad about it all, but I'd just like to know what he's most likely feeling? I don't want to ask him directly, but what other emotions (besides friendship) would elicit a response like this? He just didn't have a whole lot to say about it all, whereas I tried to explain my reasoning. The silence hurts more I think.
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female
reader, Intuitive Becky  +, writes (25 July 2017):
 Hello lovely ...He is literally deeply hurt & literally speechless. Sometimes what someone says is exactly what it is. My intuition tells me there is lots of beautiful truth between you two. I can tell you are a lovely person with excellent values in life. My advice to you would be maybe
To step outside take a risk & be vulnerable it's very attractive, you may just start an amazing new journey. ??????
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (24 July 2017):
 A sad tale, but not too uncommon. The results are normal, or at least typical.
I believe your purpose in posting here is to understand what he is feeling, or what his emotions are. Well to be truthful we can only guess. The first thing you need to understand is that his silence is likely (at least in part) is because you have specifically cut off communication between you two, and he is honoring your request. Some other reasons he may mot be talking to you are he could be feeling anger, some men react to hurt and disappointment by becoming angry. He may be protecting you from backlashes he is barely controlling. Another reason could be that he is protecting himself, sometimes when women break up they get kind of paranoid and further contact can get the man in legal trouble. if he has experienced this, or heard about this he may be keeping his distance to protect himself from trouble that could happen.
You also asked what emotions he is feeling. As a general Rule Guys will tell you to the best of their ability, exactly what they are feeling. He said he was speechless, disappointed, and at a great loss.
Speechless means confused and stunned. This was quite unexpected to him. That is a passing emotion and he has probably moved on from that by now.
Disappointed is a mine field because he didn't clarify what had disappointed him. Mostly he expected one thing and got something less than he expected. I don't want to fill your head with things he might have expected. you are filling up that list fast enough all by yourself.
At a Loss is something you didn't expect, but you should have, you just didn't have the experience necessary to see it coming. He feels a lot like you do. He is in grieving over the loss of a more than a friend.
I need to talk to you a bit more about why and how you two are more than platonic friends. This message has covered your questions. Please Follow up so I will know if you want to hear more.
FA
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 July 2017):
 Are you maybe disappointed because you wanted a more dramatic reaction from him ? You wanted him to fight for you, to protest, to beg you ?
Did you by any chance sent that message more, deep down, to stir up things and elicit a reaction, than to actually do what you had decided to do ,i.e. ending this friendship as it is now ?
If this is not the case, it's hard to understand the reason of your question, and your surprise.
His reaction, I'd say, sounds pretty normal, expectable, and sensible. I am no mind reader and I can't know for sure what he is feeling exactly, but common sense and logic says that he will have felt something appropriate to the tone and content of such a message , something along the lines of
"WTF ?? ! I had not seen this coming " ( surprise )
" Aww too bad. What a pity " ( regret )
" But if this is what she needs to do... she knows what's best for her, I guess " ( understanding )
" So be it. Life goes on " ( acceptance ).
There is not much he could have said, if he takes you seriously and if he respects your ability to make choices for yourself - and if he is not as romantically invested in you as you are in him .
In short- he is a friend. He'll miss you, but he respects your decision. Also because you haven't argued , or blocked each other, or vowed to never talk to each other again. I guess you can stay in touch if you want, just much more loosely. So , what else what he supposed to say ?
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