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I was expecting him to visit 2 days ago and haven't heard a word! I don't know what it means or what to do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Online dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 January 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 7 January 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Really confused by this guy's actions. We met on a dating site about a month ago. Really seemed like we hit it off. We started talking every day and we went on a several dates. We went out to dinner and I met his parents. He wanted me to hang out with him more than I was able to so it seemed like he had interest in me and gave indications he was interested in me becoming his girlfriend.

We made plans for him to come to my house and up to the last minute he acted like he was excited to see me and said stuff like I'll be leaving soon, I'll let you know when I leave. After an hour I texted and asked if he'd be leaving soon. No response. Asked/called several times, still no response.

It's been 2 days since I've heard from him and I don't know what to think. Did he get in an accident, is he arrested, is he some kind of weird psycho that gets off on trying to make a girl think he likes them and them majorly blowing them off without another word? I just don't get it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2013):

You will never find out unless you somehow contact his family or friends.

May be he is in trouble, but may be not.

I did it with a guy and felt awful and couldn't make myself go see him. We had met at a bar, and I dating for a while at that time, saw a nice guy, ok looking, though completely not my type. We went on several dates, he seemed like a nice guy, but soooo not my type. Also he had a much different background than me, socially and financially, we ran out of topics for conversations very fast, and I was getting really bored with him.

I don't even know why I kept on dating him for these few weeks. May be didn't want to spend weekends alone, I don't know. I also met his parents, who seemed bewildered by me dating their son. He kept on saying that he can't believe it also, lots of insecurities, I might say.

I was away for a few days, and he kept on texting me, planning a special evening. I knew if I go, I'll have to have sex with him. I had no words to tell him, its over, and to the last minute he thought I'm coming.

He sounded really excited and I felt just miserable. Well, anyway, I just didn't go. I turned my phone off, and when I turned it on again, I found such a sad message from him. I felt awful for months, remembering that guy. I never answered him, but he managed somehow to talk to my friend, and she delicately told him, that I didn't know how to reject him.

I never did it again, I never led any guy on like that, and if I saw we have different intentions, I would just break it up as soon as I noticed it.

May be this is what happened here, who knows, may be he will never show up, I think itbwould be wise just to use these advices and at least find out what happened, hope he is ok.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (7 January 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI have to be honest, I know of at least two stories like this where the person on the way to see someone was detained or injured and the other person (the waiter) did not know...

call him or his family home to verify he is ok.

if he is ok, chalk it up to live and learn.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (7 January 2013):

Although that sounds kind of worrisome, he's probably fine and he probably wasn't screwing with you either.

The most logical explanation is that he lost his phone or something happened that prevented him from contacting you, such as trouble with a family member.

There is a slight chance he got arrested, you never know.

Please update if you hear back from him.

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A female reader, sarcy24 United Kingdom +, writes (6 January 2013):

sarcy24 agony auntI agree with Oldbag wholeheartedly.

No. I do not think he is lying in a hospital, been in an accident, arrested or anything like that he just for whatever reason chnaged his mind and he did not have the guts to tell you. A disgustingly cruel way to behave. Do not phone him or text him any more and think that you had a lucky escape as a man like that is just a coward and not worth having. Don't upset yourself about it anyymore.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (6 January 2013):

oldbag agony auntHi

I have to say he/you moved pretty fast,you having already met his parents over a meal out within a month of meeting

If you hadn't had dates already,met his folks, then I would think he was just some sad wynd up.

To actually let you think he was on his way over to meet again and then go silent, is just cruel he's a downright coward who didn't have the guts to tell you it was over.Or thats how it sounds.

You could check the dating site you met on,see if he's been active in the last 48hrs? Apart from that all you can do is forget him for your own sake, you have had a lucky escape

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 January 2013):

Honeypie agony auntHave you tried calling him?

And I have no idea, I think in this instance I would assume something has come up, but for him to not let you know sounds odd.

Could he have lost his phone?

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