A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I am 18 years old and like this guy that i went to school with. we are both in college but don't go to the same one. i want to ask him out but am very shy and have no experience with this. i'm also not sure if it is a good idea as i am currently dealing with family problems, along with dealing with getting over my past-i was abused as a child, and also saw my mom being abused by my biological father. this has caused me to have trust issues and i also have a hard time letting people into my life as i'm afraid i'm going to get hurt. i'm not sure what to do. please help me.
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male
reader, rcn + ♥, writes (3 April 2008):
 So how long are you planning on keeping yourself locked in your personal prison? You we're abused, and so was your mom. Think about this, is keeping yourself out of the possability of being happy, and choosing the miserable route in fact a form of self abuse? So, when are you going to say "that's enough" and take control of yourself, instead of allowing the past to control you.
A couple of things you should do. First, forgive yourself. You didn't know any better, and we're too young to have the strength to avoid what happened. So forgive yourself for not knowing or being able to prevent it from happening. Next, all though they may not deserve it, in your heart I want you to completely forgive those who abused you and your mom. Not because they deserve it, but because you deserve to be able to live without being haunted with what happened. Carying grudges and "hate" for others is like the fuel to keep this fear of getting close alive and controlling your decisions.
Take your life back from these bad memories, and start living. Take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): Not everyone is going to hurt you if you let them in . I know it's hard ... If been cheated on b4 and It's not fun trying to trust people again .... It's never gonna get easier. People aren't always bad but they aren't always good either . There's a sayign "everyone is going to hurt you somtime.... you have to decide who's worth the pain."
Is he worth the pain if he did hurt you ? thats somthing to think about . No body is sure if he's even gonna hurt you again or not . He may be an Angel and never ever hurt you but it could be the oppiste. You can't always be afraid if you let someone in they are going to hurt you.. You just gotta go with what your heart is telling you and hope everything works out .... If you are afraid of everyone then you may never get to really know anyone because of the wall you put up.
Decide whether this guy is worth it and even tho your shy ask him out . It's hard I know but it may be worth it if he likes you back right ? you never know til you try !!!
I hope this helped in some way
Keep me updated :)
I hope everyhting works out and I wish you the very best!
*~VG~*
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