A
male
age
26-29,
kateonjon
writes:Should I let my best mate sleep with my girlfriend while I watch?Hello everybody,My name is Jonathan. My girlfriend and I have been 8 years together and we're both 28 years old. For the past year or so I've been having this vivid fantasy of watching my girlfriend having no limits sex with some other guy while I'm watching. I've also discussed it with her and she finds the idea really tempting.We currently have a mutual friend, Peter, who happens to be my best mate and we both hang out with him almost every weekend. He's single, 24 years old down to earth guy and clearly likes my girlfriend a lot. At the moment I strongly believe he's the right guy for the job and I'm planning to talk to him really soon. It definitely won't be hard to convince him since he always makes jokes about free sex and stuff when my girlfriend is present... It's been made clear to me that we both share the same fantasy, only we've never talked about it.My problem now is that I'm also a bit hesitant about the whole thing. I don't really want to rush into it and then regret it. I'm really eager to go for it but at the back of my head I also fear that it might destroy both my relationship with my girlfriend and Peter!Please, any advice and help will be truly appreciated!RegardsJon Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): It depends on your own personal past and hers as well. Let alone what your friend is. If you have ever had any insecurity with other guys 'getting the girl' or a thousand other things, you will destroy your relationship. It has a huge posibility of harming her, and a huge posibility of making you bitter at your friend. While people do this and claim its fun, the danger involved is insane. At the best case hire a professional guy and tell him first about what the idea is, he won't be around later to see so it will be a fantasy and not a real person she was with.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): I agree with your concern, a party with a bunch of strangers where you arrive with your mate, have some fun and then leave together is very different than going off one on one with someone she works with.
On an emotional level polyandry is much more difficult than swinging.
In my experience swinging drew us closer together because we had some intense sexual experiences that we shared. Polyamory pushed us apart because we had to divide our time and energy between different lovers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): this is wrong
why the fuck on earth would you want to see YOUR girlfriend shagging your BEST MATE?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): what is wrong with u all? do you know what true love is? First of all do u even love each other according to how u define love. if not please do not confuse love with u'r fantacies.wen u love someone u'll be true to them from your mind.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): My girlfriend and I discussed her having sex with a friend of hers that she was interested in. She was nervous at first, but had a great time with him and we, in turn, had a great night when she told me all about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): I let my wife have sex with my best friend, she now has screwed 90% of the state of Georgia, Pandoras Box Syndome
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008): I too have this fantasy. My girlfriend is actually dating someone else and is cheating on them with me. She takes video and pictures for me when they are together and is trying to convince him to let me watch. I don't like him at all and think pretty low of him, but I like watching. When it is all over, I go back to hating him. I would suggest using someone different than your best friend. If you get jealous in the middle of it or if they ever hang out later, you will start to wonder. You want to have someone who has no interest in her. That way, when all is said and done, there is no connection between them. In fact, it would be better if you lined up the person and not introduce them except for first names only. That way there will be no way for them to contact each other when it is over.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007): It could be the hottest night of your life so far, but you will be so jealous of her it will mess you up for months and months. You will probably try to "even the score" by asking for a threesome with another girl and then get angry when she says no, or you can't find a woman who will agree to it. Dude, the fact that your girlfriend is up for it is a bad sign. That means she isn't fulfilled with you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): Hi there in regards to your query, i too had thoughts about this once with my partner and lined up a 3some with one of my best mates, it turned out to be the best sexual experience of my life. i loved every minute of it, so much so it became a regular occurrence. Everyone enjoyed it and no one got hurt, so i say go for it, you might end up really liking it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): hey i would think twice about using your good friend with your girlfriend. I had a threesome with my semi-good friend and my girlfriend and i cant even look at him now. Its hard to even look at him in a picture. I dont hold anything against him but its still kinda weird talking to him. However you are at an advantage with your girlfriend because she finds the idea erotic. My girlfriend wasnt very gun-ho for it. Sit down and discuss this with your girlfriend extensively and make sure you two have a strong enough relationship so one of you doesnt hold this against the other. Sit down with your friend without your girlfriend and make sure you two have a good enough relationship as well. And i must add, i thought i had a good enough relationship with both of them but things have become strained as a result.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): Man i have been thinking about my girlfriend being fucked by my friends and i always thought about here with someone eles it made me horny and so i was going through my friends to see witch one i would be most comfortable with and i found out it was my friend mitch and he was up for it and my girlfriend said that mitch was hot to so that was good haha and sooo they fucked hard and for a long time tooo while i watched and i loved it the way she did everything to him and it didnt break me and my girlfriend up we got together more and we were more mature around other people and as for me and mitch we are still good friends
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): yes
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): i have done it with my girlfriend and it was pretty good she told me that her fantasy for another man is fulfilled now i get to do threesome as well , i guess i'm lucky , we have been bonded more than ever . but it is not regular , i advice you do this in a different place than u live .
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female
reader, lisa21 +, writes (4 October 2007):
if your fantasy comes true i can almost guarantee you will not have this relationship any longer!
why dont you record yourself and your partner making love and watch that instead of watching your partner cheating?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): hi i have done it before do not go there
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): I'm giving my girlfriend away to my best friend so they can be boyfriend & girlfriend
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): The fantasy of watching another man have sex with your girlfriend/wife is common. I would suggest NOT bringing your friend into the mix. More than likely, you will ruin all of the relationships. I think you're better off using a "stranger" first. I put "stranger" in quotes because of the obvious concern with diseases. There are "professionals" for this sort of thing and I would suggest using a "pro" before using your best friend.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007): Well,I dont see it makes much difference as you have her plastered all over the net naked anyway, good old kate right on jon why ask you just love the attention its so obvious, kateonjon check out the web page another body isnt going to make one bit of difference,
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007): That's a great idea, But I got a better Idea. Why don't you rent out her body every night,then she can tell you how much fun she had F---king other men. You love her????? and you want to be her Pimp. SICK,SICK,SICK.
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reader, youngcouple22 +, writes (30 June 2007):
I say try it.
Have you ever thought about doing it with a stranger.
Thats what me and my girlfriend are going to do.
We are trying to meet someone one on the internet and get to know them first them meet up with them in August in a hotel and film him having sex with my girlfriend so we can watch it together after.
if you want to talk any more contact me
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2007): hi love, 1... It could all go to plan great as your best friend peter likes yor girl...2 it could be that peter likes your girl more than he likes you after the sex....3 it then could work out that your girl likes peter more than she likes you...and i could go on for hours, Sometimes fantasys are much better kept that way as fantasys they somehow in the mind are more enjoyable than the real thing thats another side to it. I no there are people who like to swing and each to there own... do you truely love your girlfriend and do you want your best friend having sex with her on a regular basis or is this fantasy of yours just the once i dont see it working just the once... There is alot to think about and alot could be lost. good luck take care MANDY XXX
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reader, Playgroundcops  +, writes (22 June 2007):
There's a name for this. Swinging. Don't be afraid of your feelings. Have faith in your gf.
Too many people are afraid to express themselves. Go to a souple of swinger sites, real swinger sites and ask those that participate. They're really open and giving with good advise.
If I were going to do something like this I'd begin by mentioning just the idea to see what she thought. Get it into her mind and be sure that she understands that you aren't threatened by the idea. Let her know that the thought turns you on. (If you are at all, the jealous type, DO NOT do this) it will destroy your relationship.
If she's not thrown by the mention of it, allow her to have most of the input on who will be providing the input. It is her body after all.
Patience, communication and honesty will help you make the decision that's right for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): To tell you the truth i think that it would be a bad idea cause you could lose you girlfriend and your best mate
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): Oh my god.. if you had any sense you wud not let this happen.. your girlfriend will run off with your best mate and ull end up with nothing only a lousy memory take my advice and stop it now!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): You seem to have a sexaul disorder.
You are adicted to sex and you are making sex your God.
Go and see a specialist to word that out. You need to have help.
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female
reader, deejuliet + ♥, writes (22 June 2007):
 You have to have a very strong relationship to successfully engage in this kind of activity. Yes, you are putting your whole relationship at risk and it may not work out. But there are a lot of people who still have successful relationships and are swingers or are polyamorous. I am sure you know what swinging is, but you should learn more about polyamory, it may be more what you are looking for, I dont know. You two have to decide if this is going to be a one time thing or a lifestyle change and if this is really worth the risk of losing all. As for how to get it started, just invite him over and have her sit on the couch between you and put her hand on his thigh, and go from there.
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reader, Wendyg +, writes (22 June 2007):
 I think you have more to lose than to gain here.
You run the risk of the nagging afterwards of was he better than me, did she prefer sex to him than me, does she want more sex with him, and every time you have sex, you will be thinking, wonder if she wants him instead of me... Did he give her better orgasms, was his penis thicker, longer, nicer, Does she want him instead of me etc etc etc...
Now its easy to say no I wont I can handle it, But in reality the fantasy is far sexier than the real life.
So your girl has sex with another guy in front of you.... You find it a great turn on, and things were fab, what then ? Will you want more ? Will you want her to sleep with him all the time for your visual pleasure ? Or sleep with other men, then you want to try other women, before you know it your once close relationship with her is tarred because your both off having sex with other people! This then turns in to something bigger. They are seldom one offs, and jealously plays a very very big part even for the strong among us. You will never ever get this picture of your girl having sex with Pete out of your head, whether it gets you off or you hate it, it will always be imprinted on the eyes!
If on the other hand you want the swingers lifestyle go for it! But believe me when i say a little turns into a lot! It wont end there, and if you are prepared to share her for ever more then go for it, but just make sure you really truly do want this... the fantasy can sometimes be alot easier to bare.
Take care x
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): sorry read the post and i think that if its something both you and your partner want to do then why not? everyones different and different things work for different people. Such as swinging and the like. Also someone posted "you sure have taken care of hiding your identities, I reckon..." lol if you google kateonjon its not so private, I believe you have been thinking about this for along time... only you will know how you truly feel. All the best
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reader, bitterblue  + ♥, writes (22 June 2007):
 Again, agreeing with rhythmandblues, time is irreversible and you will have to live on with the idea of having shared your partner. Plus, this is not a moral situation in the eyes of the "public" and if the rumour of this reaches others' ears it may not be easy for you two dealing with repercusions. As for the intimate material you published in the internet, you sure have taken care of hiding your identities, I reckon...
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reader, rhythmandblues2 + ♥, writes (22 June 2007):
 Jon, You have a nagging doubt that bringing your fantasy to reality is going to ruin your relationship with both people....trust this voice, it is called you conscious or your intuition or your gut...it will never fail you unless you decide to ignore it.
It is one thing to have sexual fantasys, we all have them, they serve to facilitate our sexual arousal when we are with our partner or even when we are alone.
It is quite another thing to bring these fantasis to life...a rich inner life does not need to be brought into practice in the real world...it subtracts rather than adds to your life and your enjoyment of it. Please do the mature, rational thing and forget about this, your relationships will never be the same after, and it won't be a positive change for the better, quite the contrary, and if you want to live it to learn from your own mistakes, then that is how it shall be for you both.
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reader, kateonjon +, writes (22 June 2007):
kateonjon is verified as being by the original poster of the question first of all, I would like to thank you very much for your reply bitterblue... Well, we've done all this in the past! Videos and hardcore pics which I've also shared on the internet with strangers. It just isn't the same I think. I have to agree on that by the way, my girlfriend and I have a unique and honest relationship. I'm 100% that my mate won't interfere in our relationship and that's why I've chosen this particular guy... Another problem I've got is I don't really know how to approach him about the matter and get it out in the open... I'm currently working on different sorts of scenarios inside my head but they just don't seem to be right!any advice would be greatly appreciated!J.
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reader, bitterblue + ♥, writes (22 June 2007):
Jon. You must be aware that there are inherent risks of regretting this, having remorsfulnes, spoiling the relationship with both of them! Are you sure he'll be satisfied with crumbs and not interfer in your relationship afterwards, if he "likes my girlfriend a lot"? Why not as an alternative film yourself and your girlfriend "playing around" and then watching the tape together? You'll see her with somebody else - you at a point in the past, when you will have changed this idea. Anyway, congratulations for your relationship, there must be no jealousy in it. I should add there have been cases when people who tried this... variation became "attached" to it, with severe difficulties in living a normal family life. When you open Pandora's box...
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