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I want to watch my girlfriend have sex with my male friend

Tagged as: Sex, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 June 2007) 63 Answers - (Newest, 4 May 2013)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *ateonjon writes:

Should I let my best mate sleep with my girlfriend while I watch?

Hello everybody,

My name is Jonathan. My girlfriend and I have been 8 years together and we're both 28 years old.

For the past year or so I've been having this vivid fantasy of watching my girlfriend having no limits sex with some other guy while I'm watching. I've also discussed it with her and she finds the idea really tempting.

We currently have a mutual friend, Peter, who happens to be my best mate and we both hang out with him almost every weekend. He's single, 24 years old down to earth guy and clearly likes my girlfriend a lot.

At the moment I strongly believe he's the right guy for the job and I'm planning to talk to him really soon. It definitely won't be hard to convince him since he always makes jokes about free sex and stuff when my girlfriend is present... It's been made clear to me that we both share the same fantasy, only we've never talked about it.

My problem now is that I'm also a bit hesitant about the whole thing. I don't really want to rush into it and then regret it. I'm really eager to go for it but at the back of my head I also fear that it might destroy both my relationship with my girlfriend and Peter!

Please, any advice and help will be truly appreciated!

Regards

Jon

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A male reader, marks890 United States +, writes (4 May 2013):

I understand your desire completely and you and your girlfriend are consenting adults so you should do what you both want to do. Lots of people have indulged in wife / girlfriend sharing and love it.... Some regret it.... Some people have only fantasized about it and then regretted not doing it later on in life.

Many years ago when my wife and I were still engaged to be married, a close friend of ours began paying a lot of "attention" to her especially when I wasn't around. It was obvious to me that there was some sexual tension building between him and my fiancée. It was then that I began fantasizing about her and him having sex together.

Well without going into all the details I confessed to her my fantasy of her having sex with him and she confessed that he had already tried a couple of times to kiss her but she was too afraid to tell me.

That night she agreed that the next time she's alone with him that she would flirt with him and let nature take it's course. And it did many times and still does....

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A male reader, RoyCorby United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2011):

This happened to me when I was young way back in the 70's with my gf big style. We had a summer party at my friends house. There was alcohol and I think someone put something in the drinks. My gf spaced out and started teasing all the guys. She started kissing my friend and got really intimate. We took her upstairs and I watched while she had sex with 4 guys, she was going wild. I loved it and wanted to set up more sessions which we did a couple of times. My friends thought I was crazy. In the end though my gf broke it off with me to go her own way. So be careful, you may lose her.

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A male reader, openminded United Kingdom +, writes (28 November 2010):

A lot of men, and women if they are honest, have a fantasy about a male male female threesome. In many ways it works better than a ffm as guy have only got so much but women can carry on if you know what I mean. I have been the additional male in a mmf with a married couple. The sex, for everyone, especially the girl was incredible!!The lady was about 32, really stunning and sexy as hell! Guy was a nice chap, very friendly. I did'nt know them beforehand and met on a website. However, after some incredible sex sessions I stopped seeing them after a while as I was getting the feeling that the girl in question was developing feelings for me, and I did not want to be the cause of a divorce. My adice is - go for it, but find a stranger, gets too complicated otherwise.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010):

Firstly, what is wrong with some of you people? The man asked for advice, so merely calling him all manner of names is just downright ridiculous and probably goes against everything this page was setup for in the first place!?

Ok, I have experience in this, and before people flame or diss me, I love my girlfriend very very much with my whole heart body and soul. Im not mentally ill, sex obsessed or anything. Im a normal loving guy and we are a normal loving couple.

One thing I will say. Many years ago, I was obsessed and I mean OBSESSED with jealousy. I would argue for hours on end with her about her ex's and if they were better than me etc etc, even though I knew I was a good lover with her and we shared a loving intimate sex life. It didnt matter though, just the simplest thought of her with someone else turned me into a monster. Nasty, horrible man. Not pleasant. I convinced myself it was because I loved her so much, thats why I did it. One day I was having a go at her asking her the same old questions... 'tell me again! what happened here, who did this, was he better than me, he was wasn't he! ' blah blah blah. Everyday was like this, something would trigger it and I would be moody and nasty for the rest of the day. Sex would usually placate it as I would feel closer, but thats never a reason to make love. So this one day I remember it so vividly. I was having a go at her and we were sat in the car at the side of the road and it was raining, I was asking her stuff, stuff she had already answered a thousand times before, (but its never a good enough answer, you dont believe them, or every answer spawns a thousand more questions) and she was crying. I suddenly stopped for a second and realised she was literally 'sobbing' My poor baby, was sobbing and it was MY fault. not her ex's or anyone else. MINE! so at that moment in time, I realised that I WAS worse than any man before her, to have done this! to persecute her about her ex's and make her cry?? how horrible of me. From that moment I had an epiphany and I realised how futile this was, how desperate I had become and how I would never EVER do this again to her!!

I know this is a long story but please bear with me. People live with jealousy everyday, bitter, burning horrible feelings. But seriously you do not have to. Stop and think, for one second. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. WE ALL SHARE ONE THING IN COMMON, WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! we dont know when, or where, or how. Its what we do before that, that gives us our purpose. We cant spend it unhappy or making others unhappy through our own insecurity!

I told my girlfriend, I was never going to do it again and I was so so sorry and I had realised, a moment of true clarity, just what I had become and how trapped my insecurity and jealousy had made me. After all, I was meant to be better than the rest. She told me I was, but my actions had made me probably the worst one. How sad of me. What a waste of time.

My girlfriend was happy but sceptical (and I dont blame her one bit) and I explained my past and how I had not been treat very nicely and had horrible things said and done by my ex's which made me very very insecure.

The single best thing I ever did with my life. Ditch jealousy, just like that. on the spot.

My point is this. Even the TINIEST amount of jealousy and you will ruin things. Jealousy deserves no place on this planet, it is one of the most soul destroying, negative emotions ever created and its created BY MAN. so MAN can destroy it, just as easily.

I have made love to my partner now and we had a friend of ours join us and it was an immensely close experience which only enhanced our love life ten fold. The mere thought of this only a few years ago, would have had me slitting my wrists.

Without the jealousy, im confident, loving, secure and very very close to my partner.

We initially did it as a way of 'proving' that my jealousy had gone completely (not the best reason, but its how it happened) as my gf thought I was merely hiding it to protect her. However she soon realised. She had no intention whatsoever of ever sleeping with someone else, she's completely devoted to me. She said ok if it would turn me on, she would try it for me. so she did.

Amazing, but again, not for everyone. The feeling of no jealousy or insecurity is the most close amazing thing ever. But you have to devote to it and your partner. Few points for you if you havent tried it yet?

1. Dont ever make it about 'them' i.e. you watching THEM do it/stuff. Always ALWAYS be with your girl, holding her, kissing her, talking to her, make it about YOU, never THEM, whatever may actually be happening physically is irrelevant, be part of it, at all times.

2. Always have something JUST for you two alone. Ours is kissing, its just what we feel is most intimate for us both.

3. always make sure the other person knows the limits and boundaries that your partner is happy with. and have your OWN limits too.

4. If things go too far, STOP. do NOT let them go further as you will only regret it. If you are fine with anything and everything so be it, thats fantastic, but make sure you are BOTH agreed on this.

5. Always always talk to your partner and stay close with them before during and after. You will seriously not believe how close this will make you both if done properly. Done wrong, it will be a complete disaster.

6. we chose our friend as we trust them. Me and my partner talk about our experiences, but we do not share them with our friend in anyway. In the real world, we are no different with each other than before. Not even a smidge. I dont talk to him about it, she doesnt, we keep it for ourselves. This isnt harsh on your friend, at the end of the day, they are getting a pretty good no strings deal with people they care about. He knows how much we love each other and could never imagine us being anything but together.

Just my two pennies worth, hope I didnt bore you guys too much. I wanted to give some advice. If anyone ever wants to talk to me about jealousy or other things, I am more than willing to email etc.

Peace to you all and remember we have NO practices in life, we make our mistakes in realtime..... Carpe Diem

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A female reader, Daisy Doo  United Kingdom +, writes (20 March 2010):

Daisy Doo  agony auntWOW. Can i say any girl that is up for sex with her boyfriends best mate...wellis not to be trusted. I am inda dazed right now.

why do you want to see some one else fuck your girl?!

I would get jelous to see someone else fucking my boy!!

What has this world become no affence J but your idea has be dazed and lost in thought! Why, i often ask why and it's got me in trouble, but i can't help myslef.

Why

The

Hell

would

you

want

to

see

someone

fuck

your

lady

?!?!!

I personly think no, i think your girlfriend and peter are gonna do it agen and agen and agen and agen and agen and agen and agen and agen and you get the idea.

Sorry mate your crazy idea realy has gone too far and iof this is your dream?!?! God almighty help us!

Sorry hope i gave you my point of veiw good luck. x

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A male reader, Augusto_lemonq United States +, writes (10 September 2009):

I share the same thinking, I spoke to my girlfriend about it, and she asked me if I would mind having another man have sex with her. I said no. I felt turned on, at the moment. But then i realized that letting another man have sex with my woman, my soul mate, the one i plan to marry is not a very good idea. Think how your girlfriend would feel after having sex with your best friend? Think how you would feel after the climax is gone? Do you love her? or do you want to share her? what if she likes it? where is your place then? how is your male friend going to feel about it? he had a taste of what you have built in terms of mutual love and relationship? its not worth it dude. You need to respect yourself as a man, and you woman. I changed my mind, i just go masturbate if that thought comes in again. And then, its all gone. Another thing, lets say you guys are drunk. Things can happen. But even if am drunk, still would not want my woman to do that. And if she wants to do that, then she does not care about me or us or our future.

you cant separate sex and emotions. You can only take care of what its yours. So don't do something you will regret. If you wont regret it. Then do it. but be careful with what you wish for. Good luck!!

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A male reader, romatoidman Egypt +, writes (3 July 2009):

sex like food in kitchen and many kinds of food and kitchen but love is only one kind in one kitchen(heart)and just feeling like air can be felt and not toutch

so if you can understand the diffrence between sex eating and love feeling

then do and enjoy both

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A male reader, romatoidman Egypt +, writes (30 June 2009):

it is clear that you want to see true live porn

you can try first with a porngirl for money to make sex with your friend and watch them and test yourself to do it with your own girlfriend

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A male reader, romatoidman Egypt +, writes (30 June 2009):

yot may love your girlfriend true love but not respect her nor yourself so wantig this fantasy to be true for example drunkard do drink wine but hate it and wishs to stop drinking . Sex fantasy is like good tasty wine now if you are addict of wine

you must look for remedy

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A male reader, romatoidman Egypt +, writes (30 June 2009):

it is just fantasy and not to be real

do not do it

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009):

Jon - I suggested this to my lomg time gf some time back. We talked about it at length before deciding to to do it. You have to be very sure of your relationship and understand that there can be consequences. But only you can make the final decision. For her part she wasn't looking for sex with another guy, but was happy to do it if I really wanted her to. We decided on a close friend who we both had known for some time. We also decided to do it without a condom which was a big decision. But I wanted to watch someone else cum in her. In the end it was fantasitc. I have to say watching her spread her legs for someone else is very exciting if you can handle it. Knowing that she let another man blow inside her for me just added to the whole experience for me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009):

Don't let your fantasy ruin your relationship and life..Stay out of this idea.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009):

Hey,

I did this two nights ago, it's been on the cards for months now (initially my idea), i really got off seeing my best mates cock in her pussy - Well all love each others company and get on really well, it shows how much we trust each other i guess.

Since then me and my gf have fucked each other many times, i'm not sure how but we feel like sex more often now! We just want to fuck each other so much more! It makes no sense!

We really want to do it again soon, hopefully this time me and my mate will cum aswell! - less alcohol next time me thinks...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009):

I say if both you and your GF like the idea of her having sex, or a threesome, with Peter, why not go for it? It might be easier for you to watch her do it with Peter if it's part of a double-penetration threesome (vaginal-anal or vaginal-oral). I have to admit I've had this same fantasy about my GF, but have never discussed it with her, cuz I know she'd find the idea repulsive if I suggested it. But if your GF is game, why not try it and fulfill a fantasy?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009):

dude !

leave your best mate out of it

that way

whatever the outcome

you still wont affect your relationship with your best mate

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009):

I tell you right now don't do it that's just my opinion...if it was me and I found out my friend did it without my consent I would knock some fool out cold

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A male reader, Main Man United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2009):

Main Man agony auntAre you really sure that you want to see your friend have sex whilst you watch them. If so just remember 1 thing thi could end your relationship with your girlfriend or they could go on to have an affair.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009):

Whatever you choose to do now will have consequences for the future. If you really have to go through with it, think about using a guy who isn't part of your circle of friends, at least that way you will limit what happens when and there won't be any weirdness between friends in the future

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009):

You shouldn't want to share your woman with anyone. What the hell is wrong with you, you can't sexually please her or something?! You want to see some other man have sex with her and get her off? Even if it is a friend I think it's nuts! If she agrees to this that just means you couldn't fully satisfy her and she's a Slut, you shouldn't have to do stupid shit like this to get yourself off or switch things up to keep both of you interested.

"But if this is just a girlfriend and boyfriend relationship you need to stop using that term because you're not serious, don't call your selves "GIRLFRIEND and BOYFRIEND" because the way you're talking you sound more like "Fuck Buddys". What kind Of Person Asks His Girlfriend To Get DPED by Another Man..

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A male reader, Dr. Johnny United States +, writes (14 April 2009):

Glad to see im not alone in this department...I have been dating my girlfriend for about six years she is a wonderful intelligent woman whom I plan on marrying soon. She used to house sit for my parents while they were away which ultimatley led to me meeting her. Anyway, sometime after we started dating she told me of a threesome involving two guys during a party she was having at my parents house! To be honest I was quite turned on. I asked her if she would ever want to try another one, and she gladly said, "yes, in the right situation". I couldnt have agreed more. Well about three years later during the holidays one of my best buddies came home for vacation. My girlfriend and I spent New Years with my buddy, and several other friends partying around home town. My girl and I headed home to spend the rest of the night in the hot tub where she told me that she kinda was hoping for a threesome with my buddy at home to cap off the New Years eve festivities. Once again, wayyy turned on! We still talk of having one everynow and then but still waiting for the "right situation", and glad to see im not the only one waiting.

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A male reader, DP_VOYEUR United States +, writes (22 January 2009):

I am an avid fan of voyeurism (among other things). I find that watching my GF getting off on another man's cock is awesome, especially if it is bigger than mine, and even better when I get to lick her clean after, then enjoy sloppy seconds. This also gets her off (seeing me enjoy her stretched love hole), even though she has to barely feeling me (I can feel her cum). Of course I always enjoy her orgasms and finding new and exciting O's for her. Watching her straddle my best friend is doubly so - as I get to see 2 people who I care about enjoy themselves (and each other). My GF and I love each other very much (at the end of the day she's always mine and very affectionate), and there's no one I trust more than my best friend and theirs no better choice for some freaky fun. Its awesome to DP with these 2 also. He's not bi like me (wouldn't even consider it), but he enjoys the feel of my cock sliding along his inside her velvet pocket as much as I do. We never know who is going to cum first. My GF always beats us both to it, as she hears both our moans.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008):

i had this fantasy of having my GF of 3 years fucking someone. i thought i knew what i was doing setting it up. i even thought the guy was attractive, anyway it happened. and i wasnt there. it will happen and before u know it once its done you feel shitty. you feel bad that she fucked someone else and you will feel jeleous and insecure. dont do it!!!!!! dont do it!!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008):

My man recently brought this up..... Have been together 3 years, and we have had the most amazing, sexy, love making sessions from day one, to last night. He loves me, and I him.. We share communication, trust, common interest and are so fucking attracted to one another... I am thrilled by the idea... I was happen with never f*****g another man again, but if the love of my life will be turned on by me getting DOUBLE pleasure then if that's what he wants, fine by me :) My love said, "If you could only see your face when ___________ ..

I am a lovely creature, and if he feel selfish keeping my all to him self I understand, plus I fully benefit in the pleasure dept;) My head is clear, my confidence high... He told me he trust me (which, by God, he CAN, we are not all untrustworthy) and I know in my soul he is my love... He did mention, just once or twice a year with an aquantance ; I told him to let me know who he may suggest, and I will give the OK,, (I may be the perfect women, no really)

No mention of another women yet from him... I LOVE the other male suggestion, however not so sure about the other female... Unless she is JUST The right person ;) Until then XXX

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008):

Depending on your psychological makeup and your relationship, this involves a certain level of sexual stimulation mixed with jealousy. Depends on the balance you achieve. There's a lot to lose if it doesn't work out. A stranger might be better. That way you can cut off all connections if it doesn't work out. A friend... well, the danger is that things will go wrong and spoil both relationships.

Good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008):

Mate if your friend is not up to the job then I would be more than happy to help you out, hope to hear from you soon..Cheers..Karl

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008):

If I were you I wouldn't do it because that will destroy not only your friendship, that will affect the trust with in the couple. So, keep that in your mind as a fantasy only, bring that to reality and say goodbye to your 8 years relationship.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2008):

Sharing of sexual intimacy is a delight and My wife and I deeply remcommend it.Our first experirence was with a dear old friend who enjoyed me doing oral on him while he enjoyed my wife's kisses. No holds beared became the norm over the next decade.

We wish you well and sexualy satisifed.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008):

why do you want to see this? is it because you are afraid you cant please your lady and u feel like you need to set her up with someone who can? friends share things, but a serious girlfriend of 8 years is not something you share. i think when you want to see your girlfriend screwing someone else, it's just an inferiority complex on your part and it would be much more attractive to your girl if you were a little defensive, possessive if you will, with her and you made the extra effort to please her yourself by maybe working out to make yourself more attractive or trying to find what she likes in bed.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008):

Me and my fiance' have been together for 10 years in the last 2 years me and my best friend have repeatedly had sex with her and we all love it. The absolute best sex you will ever have and the visual is awesome. It's a trust thing I think, if your girlfriend/fiance have been with you for a long time and you have known your best friend for a long time there is really no harm if you have reached that point of trust. I mean arent those the two people you most trust? I can say we have had no issues with it and we do it every chance we get. We all understand and agree that nothing can happen unless we are all present and we are all good with that. It works, try it. If not then you trusted the wrong people. I am not saying this works for everybody but it worked out quite nicely for us.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008):

Dont allow this man. Peter will get attached emotionaly after sex with her. You are setting yourself up for pain if you allow this.

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A male reader, masondixon United States +, writes (22 August 2008):

This is a fantasy of mine that I have never brought into "real life" and I'm glad to this day i haven't. But I will tell you what we do every now and again. During sex, I will have her tell me stories about her (past) lovers, her sluttiest moments, the biggest dick she's seen, etc. Then I will have her do the same. Usually we trade back and forth, each one getting a little more and more "bragging." It is great, and it makes me feel so hot and open with her.

I think if you're like me, you just don't have any jealousy. That strength makes you want to display it in some way because it sets you apart. (Most guys being obsessive and jealous).

Good luck to you, but definitely start with this. Have her tell you fantasies she has had about Peter, and see how she feels after that.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008):

It depends on your own personal past and hers as well. Let alone what your friend is. If you have ever had any insecurity with other guys 'getting the girl' or a thousand other things, you will destroy your relationship. It has a huge posibility of harming her, and a huge posibility of making you bitter at your friend. While people do this and claim its fun, the danger involved is insane. At the best case hire a professional guy and tell him first about what the idea is, he won't be around later to see so it will be a fantasy and not a real person she was with.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008):

I agree with your concern, a party with a bunch of strangers where you arrive with your mate, have some fun and then leave together is very different than going off one on one with someone she works with.

On an emotional level polyandry is much more difficult than swinging.

In my experience swinging drew us closer together because we had some intense sexual experiences that we shared. Polyamory pushed us apart because we had to divide our time and energy between different lovers.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008):

this is wrong

why the fuck on earth would you want to see YOUR girlfriend shagging your BEST MATE?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008):

what is wrong with u all? do you know what true love is? First of all do u even love each other according to how u define love. if not please do not confuse love with u'r fantacies.wen u love someone u'll be true to them from your mind.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008):

My girlfriend and I discussed her having sex with a friend of hers that she was interested in. She was nervous at first, but had a great time with him and we, in turn, had a great night when she told me all about it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008):

I let my wife have sex with my best friend, she now has screwed 90% of the state of Georgia, Pandoras Box Syndome

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008):

I too have this fantasy. My girlfriend is actually dating someone else and is cheating on them with me. She takes video and pictures for me when they are together and is trying to convince him to let me watch. I don't like him at all and think pretty low of him, but I like watching. When it is all over, I go back to hating him. I would suggest using someone different than your best friend. If you get jealous in the middle of it or if they ever hang out later, you will start to wonder. You want to have someone who has no interest in her. That way, when all is said and done, there is no connection between them. In fact, it would be better if you lined up the person and not introduce them except for first names only. That way there will be no way for them to contact each other when it is over.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007):

It could be the hottest night of your life so far, but you will be so jealous of her it will mess you up for months and months. You will probably try to "even the score" by asking for a threesome with another girl and then get angry when she says no, or you can't find a woman who will agree to it. Dude, the fact that your girlfriend is up for it is a bad sign. That means she isn't fulfilled with you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007):

Hi there in regards to your query, i too had thoughts about this once with my partner and lined up a 3some with one of my best mates, it turned out to be the best sexual experience of my life. i loved every minute of it, so much so it became a regular occurrence. Everyone enjoyed it and no one got hurt, so i say go for it, you might end up really liking it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007):

hey i would think twice about using your good friend with your girlfriend. I had a threesome with my semi-good friend and my girlfriend and i cant even look at him now. Its hard to even look at him in a picture. I dont hold anything against him but its still kinda weird talking to him. However you are at an advantage with your girlfriend because she finds the idea erotic. My girlfriend wasnt very gun-ho for it. Sit down and discuss this with your girlfriend extensively and make sure you two have a strong enough relationship so one of you doesnt hold this against the other. Sit down with your friend without your girlfriend and make sure you two have a good enough relationship as well. And i must add, i thought i had a good enough relationship with both of them but things have become strained as a result.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007):

Man i have been thinking about my girlfriend being fucked by my friends and i always thought about here with someone eles it made me horny and so i was going through my friends to see witch one i would be most comfortable with and i found out it was my friend mitch and he was up for it and my girlfriend said that mitch was hot to so that was good haha and sooo they fucked hard and for a long time tooo while i watched and i loved it the way she did everything to him and it didnt break me and my girlfriend up we got together more and we were more mature around other people and as for me and mitch we are still good friends

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007):

yes

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007):

i have done it with my girlfriend and it was pretty good she told me that her fantasy for another man is fulfilled now i get to do threesome as well , i guess i'm lucky , we have been bonded more than ever . but it is not regular , i advice you do this in a different place than u live .

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A female reader, lisa21 United Kingdom +, writes (4 October 2007):

if your fantasy comes true i can almost guarantee you will not have this relationship any longer!

why dont you record yourself and your partner making love and watch that instead of watching your partner cheating?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007):

hi i have done it before do not go there

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007):

I'm giving my girlfriend away to my best friend so they can be boyfriend & girlfriend

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007):

The fantasy of watching another man have sex with your girlfriend/wife is common. I would suggest NOT bringing your friend into the mix. More than likely, you will ruin all of the relationships. I think you're better off using a "stranger" first. I put "stranger" in quotes because of the obvious concern with diseases. There are "professionals" for this sort of thing and I would suggest using a "pro" before using your best friend.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007):

Well,

I dont see it makes much difference as you have her plastered all over the net naked anyway, good old kate right on jon why ask you just love the attention its so obvious, kateonjon check out the web page another body isnt going to make one bit of difference,

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007):

That's a great idea, But I got a better Idea. Why don't you rent out her body every night,then she can tell you how much fun she had F---king other men. You love her????? and you want to be her Pimp. SICK,SICK,SICK.

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A male reader, youngcouple22 United Kingdom +, writes (30 June 2007):

I say try it.

Have you ever thought about doing it with a stranger.

Thats what me and my girlfriend are going to do.

We are trying to meet someone one on the internet and get to know them first them meet up with them in August in a hotel and film him having sex with my girlfriend so we can watch it together after.

if you want to talk any more contact me

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2007):

hi love,

1... It could all go to plan great as your best friend peter likes yor girl...2 it could be that peter likes your girl more than he likes you after the sex....3 it then could work out that your girl likes peter more than she likes you...and i could go on for hours, Sometimes fantasys are much better kept that way as fantasys they somehow in the mind are more enjoyable than the real thing thats another side to it. I no there are people who like to swing and each to there own... do you truely love your girlfriend and do you want your best friend having sex with her on a regular basis or is this fantasy of yours just the once i dont see it working just the once... There is alot to think about and alot could be lost.

good luck take care MANDY XXX

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A male reader, Playgroundcops United States +, writes (22 June 2007):

There's a name for this. Swinging. Don't be afraid of your feelings. Have faith in your gf.

Too many people are afraid to express themselves. Go to a souple of swinger sites, real swinger sites and ask those that participate. They're really open and giving with good advise.

If I were going to do something like this I'd begin by mentioning just the idea to see what she thought. Get it into her mind and be sure that she understands that you aren't threatened by the idea. Let her know that the thought turns you on. (If you are at all, the jealous type, DO NOT do this) it will destroy your relationship.

If she's not thrown by the mention of it, allow her to have most of the input on who will be providing the input. It is her body after all.

Patience, communication and honesty will help you make the decision that's right for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007):

To tell you the truth i think that it would be a bad idea cause you could lose you girlfriend and your best mate

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007):

Oh my god.. if you had any sense you wud not let this happen.. your girlfriend will run off with your best mate and ull end up with nothing only a lousy memory take my advice and stop it now!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007):

You seem to have a sexaul disorder.

You are adicted to sex and you are making sex your God.

Go and see a specialist to word that out. You need to have help.

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A female reader, deejuliet United States +, writes (22 June 2007):

deejuliet agony auntYou have to have a very strong relationship to successfully engage in this kind of activity. Yes, you are putting your whole relationship at risk and it may not work out. But there are a lot of people who still have successful relationships and are swingers or are polyamorous. I am sure you know what swinging is, but you should learn more about polyamory, it may be more what you are looking for, I dont know. You two have to decide if this is going to be a one time thing or a lifestyle change and if this is really worth the risk of losing all. As for how to get it started, just invite him over and have her sit on the couch between you and put her hand on his thigh, and go from there.

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2007):

Wendyg agony auntI think you have more to lose than to gain here.

You run the risk of the nagging afterwards of was he better than me, did she prefer sex to him than me, does she want more sex with him, and every time you have sex, you will be thinking, wonder if she wants him instead of me... Did he give her better orgasms, was his penis thicker, longer, nicer, Does she want him instead of me etc etc etc...

Now its easy to say no I wont I can handle it, But in reality the fantasy is far sexier than the real life.

So your girl has sex with another guy in front of you.... You find it a great turn on, and things were fab, what then ? Will you want more ? Will you want her to sleep with him all the time for your visual pleasure ? Or sleep with other men, then you want to try other women, before you know it your once close relationship with her is tarred because your both off having sex with other people! This then turns in to something bigger. They are seldom one offs, and jealously plays a very very big part even for the strong among us. You will never ever get this picture of your girl having sex with Pete out of your head, whether it gets you off or you hate it, it will always be imprinted on the eyes!

If on the other hand you want the swingers lifestyle go for it! But believe me when i say a little turns into a lot! It wont end there, and if you are prepared to share her for ever more then go for it, but just make sure you really truly do want this... the fantasy can sometimes be alot easier to bare.

Take care x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007):

sorry read the post and i think that if its something both you and your partner want to do then why not? everyones different and different things work for different people. Such as swinging and the like. Also someone posted "you sure have taken care of hiding your identities, I reckon..." lol if you google kateonjon its not so private, I believe you have been thinking about this for along time... only you will know how you truly feel.

All the best

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007):

Again, agreeing with rhythmandblues, time is irreversible and you will have to live on with the idea of having shared your partner. Plus, this is not a moral situation in the eyes of the "public" and if the rumour of this reaches others' ears it may not be easy for you two dealing with repercusions. As for the intimate material you published in the internet, you sure have taken care of hiding your identities, I reckon...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007):

Jon, You have a nagging doubt that bringing your fantasy to reality is going to ruin your relationship with both people....trust this voice, it is called you conscious or your intuition or your gut...it will never fail you unless you decide to ignore it.

It is one thing to have sexual fantasys, we all have them, they serve to facilitate our sexual arousal when we are with our partner or even when we are alone.

It is quite another thing to bring these fantasis to life...a rich inner life does not need to be brought into practice in the real world...it subtracts rather than adds to your life and your enjoyment of it. Please do the mature, rational thing and forget about this, your relationships will never be the same after, and it won't be a positive change for the better, quite the contrary, and if you want to live it to learn from your own mistakes, then that is how it shall be for you both.

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A male reader, kateonjon United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2007):

kateonjon is verified as being by the original poster of the question

kateonjon agony auntfirst of all, I would like to thank you very much for your reply bitterblue...

Well, we've done all this in the past! Videos and hardcore pics which I've also shared on the internet with strangers. It just isn't the same I think. I have to agree on that by the way, my girlfriend and I have a unique and honest relationship.

I'm 100% that my mate won't interfere in our relationship and that's why I've chosen this particular guy...

Another problem I've got is I don't really know how to approach him about the matter and get it out in the open... I'm currently working on different sorts of scenarios inside my head but they just don't seem to be right!

any advice would be greatly appreciated!

J.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007):

Jon. You must be aware that there are inherent risks of regretting this, having remorsfulnes, spoiling the relationship with both of them! Are you sure he'll be satisfied with crumbs and not interfer in your relationship afterwards, if he "likes my girlfriend a lot"? Why not as an alternative film yourself and your girlfriend "playing around" and then watching the tape together? You'll see her with somebody else - you at a point in the past, when you will have changed this idea. Anyway, congratulations for your relationship, there must be no jealousy in it. I should add there have been cases when people who tried this... variation became "attached" to it, with severe difficulties in living a normal family life. When you open Pandora's box...

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