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I want to stop obsessing over my work mate, as she is taken, but I don't know how!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 May 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 May 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am hugely attracted to a work friend and its at the stage where I am driving myself crazy second guessing every word I've said to her and every text I've ever sent.

I know it will never work out but I can't stop myself thinking about her. She's in a relationship and I assume she just likes me as a very good friend so I try and back off but its been years since I've felt like this for anyone and I'm really excited about it!

I have said nothing to my work mates about how I feel but last night after seeing us talking I was directly asked by my boss if I was seeing her! Maybe they can see something I can't?

How can I let her know how I feel without making it awkward at work? Or should I just shut up and get over it? She's a lovely girl and I would hate to loose our friendship. We get on so well and really enjoy talking to her.

Also, any advice on how to stop myself analysing the response times between emails and texts would be a god send!

View related questions: at work, my boss, text

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A male reader, steven 25206542 United Kingdom +, writes (6 May 2007):

steven 25206542 agony auntwell i will admit it sounds like she is just loving the attinthion an she sounds a lot like the lasses ave nowen my suggestion is find some one else but its the way u say "I try and back off but its been years since I've felt like this for anyone and I'm really excited about it!" if these feelings are unique all i can say is an unspoking love is the quickist route to a heavy heart"

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A female reader, Granny +, writes (5 May 2007):

Granny agony auntI am so sorry for you, but truth is, it will not work out. It will hurt, but please forget her and look for love elsewhere. She is probably lapping up your attention while in a safe relationship and your colleagues obviously know. She has not shown you any reason to continue your affection. I have seen this same situation where I work. HE is apparently happily married, SHE is obviously besotted with him and has wasted eight years of her life as well as seriously annoying his wife and co-workers.

If your boss has mentioned it, then everyone knows where your affections lie. Please do not let it affect your job. Forget her, if you can.

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